On ‘Celebrity Rehab,’ Dr. Drew Teaches Jeff Conaway’s Girlfriend About Why He Claims To Have Severe Menstrual Cramps

Yes, yes, we know what we said last week (and, um, the week before that) about trying to shake the Celebrity Rehab monkey off our back, but, like the self-destructive guests of the Pasadena Recovery Center (except for Chyna, who’s completely faking just to get some more Vh1 screen time), we’re powerless against that which is bad for us. Now that the disclaimers about our own human failings are out of the way:

On last night’s episode, series centrepiece/cautionary tale Jeff Conaway’s girlfriend Vicki (who we learned has been cast as Rehab’s primary Enabler in the first instalment) received a stern talking-to by Dr. Drew for keeping her PMS-alleviating prescription narcotics in the house, as Conaway will “play her like a violin” to get into the stash that is “killing him.” The couple’s later, sobriety-threatening fight was yet another difficult-to-watch moment from Conaway’s storyline, but knowing the extent to which reality programming is scripted, we got through it by telling ourselves that the producers were merely setting us up for the triumphant resolution of the troubled actor’s character arc, in which Vicki’s love helps her addiction-ravaged partner overcome his demons, and finally emerge from his stay as clean and healthy as onetime co-star Tony Danza on his first day on the set of Taxi.

• Celebrity Rehab [VH1.com]
• Previously: Jeff Conaway Sneaks Blow Into ‘Celeb Rehab’; Jessica Sierra Pissed She Didn’t Think Of The Idea First [Defamer]