Official Oscar Poster Tries To Distract Public From Looming Awards Show Disaster With Bright Lights, Shiny Object

Still going through their Road to the Oscars motions even though they certainly suspect the gilded path will terminate in a wall of red-tuxedoed WGA picketers, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has released the official poster for its 80th annual awards ceremony–one which, we suspect, might provide a clue as to producer Gil Cates’ plans for an emergency “alternative” telecast.

Should the strike continue until Oscar night and the ceremony be hobbled by the combination of a red-carpet-marring picket line and SAG no-shows, ABC’s TV presentation will consist of nothing but an unbroken shot of a dazzling, highly reflective statuette backgrounded by blinding strobe lights calibrated to induce a four-hour seizure in any viewer unlucky enough to tune in, a psychovisual assault that will leave untold millions of fans so disoriented that they won’t be able to recall whether or not any Oscars were actually awarded this year, even days later.

• Oscar® Glistens for His 80th [Oscars.org]
• Previously: The Oscars Will Go On! Somehow! (Exact Plans For Killing Four Hours Still TBD) [Defamer]