Newly Unearthed Scientology Orientation Video Reveals Church’s ‘Mind Control’ Tactics; But Without It, Kirstie Alley ‘Would Be Dead’!

Who knew L. Ron Hubbard was such a superhero? In this recently unearthed clip from Orientation: A Scientology Information Film, two robotically-pitched Scientology mouthpieces claim that LRH singlehandedly unmasked “the government’s” system of “mind control” using nothing but his creative genius (saving millions of Earth Human lives along the way). That is, when he wasn’t busy being “fully professional” in 29 other fields. The video also includes cultish quippets from “Actress” Anne Archer and “Actress” Kirstie Alley, the latter of whom calmly explains that “without scientology, I would be dead.” But it’s not just popular-in-the-`80s actresses giving Hubbard praise; hear from opera singers! Fashion designers! Exercise physiologists! And the most flamboyantly gay chef we’ve ever seen, or heard, in our collective lives.

If our clip left you salivating for more nutcases, don’t fret. All 35 freaky minutes of the video can be found here. And there’s no shortage of crazies: everyone from “watercolourists” to “country western singers” and “deep sea divers” wax on about how Hubbard’s system of Dianetics and self-improvement therapies have allowed them to realise their dreams. Eerier still is the suspicious authenticity of these members, all dressed according to their respective careers a little too well. The difference between this video and those 4am infomercials for business-suit-wearing graduates of online GSD programs is practically nil.

• Scientology Orientation Video [Videosift.com]