Katie Holmes Still Claiming To Have Run New York City Marathon, But We Still Have Our Doubts

Ever since we called shenanigans on Katie Holmes’ involvement in the New York City Marathon just over two weeks ago, conspiracy theorists have come out of the woodwork at a rate not seen since Ollie Stone introduced a nation to the ravings of Jim Garrison. As other news organizations started to poke around the highly sensitive hot button issue of marathon integrity, they found the story was a tough nut to crack. Even our nation’s most dignified and respected journalistic outlet, US Weekly, Natalie Portman’s bob in The Professional), would like to have us believe that she decided to run the marathon in August! That gave her 90 days to get into marathon shape. Hmmm, sounds fishy and Dave seems to agree (”Did you go through the full regimen? The 20 mile runs?”). Katie just nods.

Three, we find out that the Kanye West’s “Stronger” provided the necessary inspirado for Kate to (allegedly) complete the last six miles of the marathon. We know that Kanye is Tom Cruise endorsed, but why not just go with the “Mission: Impossible” theme?