Helpful Media Outlets Continue To Provide Excerpts From Cruise Biography: Today We’ll Hear About His Special Friendship With James Packer

Disappointed that we can’t buy and devour Tom Cruise: An Unauthorised Biography in Australia?

Dry those weeping eyes! For the various news outlets in the country are determined to read us a bedtime story from the book every day, or so it seems – and today’s chapter concerns Tom’s Speedo-wearing Australian pal and rumoured Scientology recruit, James Packer.

Are you ready children? Then let’s begin:

“Dominated by his larger-than-life father (the late Kerry Packer), James Packer cut a sorry figure, overweight and out of shape.

“Not only had his One.Tel communications business collapsed, but his wife of just two years had walked out on him.

“His ‘ruin’ was obvious to anyone – and it did not take long before he was reading Scientology literature.”

Morton says Mr Packer was specifically targeted by Cruise, who by mid-2002 had resolved to dedicate his life to Scientology.

He suggests Cruise offered Mr Packer a role as a samurai extra in the film The Last Samurai solely to convert him.

Mr Packer was quickly seduced, saying later he admired Cruise for his humility, values and decency.

Aww, poor widdle Jamie! He told his friends about One.Tel – and then he had no friends! How kind of Tom Cruise to swoop in and cheer him up – after all, it’s Tom’s “responsibility” as a ScientoLOLogist to help out in situations of dire need – he is “the authorities”!

To celebrate this ongoing madness, here’s some vintage John Safran after the jump – Who Wants To Be An Operating Thetan Level VIII?