Drunkard With Low Self-Esteem Tries To Pass Himself Off As Richard Wilkins In Order To Escape The Fuzz

This story tickled us in all the right places yesterday.

A deceptive diner who downed vodka shots at trendy Melbourne restaurants then refused to pay told police he was entertainment guru Richard Wilkins, a court has been told. James Evans, 39, of Hampton Park, and his friend downed four double shots of vodka and a bottle of wine at Silvio’s restaurant in Richmond about midnight on January 27.

They left without paying the $85 cost and were so drunk they could barely stand, the Melbourne Magistrates Court was told today. At lunchtime the same day the pair downed 10 shots of vodka, a bottle of wine and salad at the Blue Chillies restaurant in Fitzroy, Senior Constable Scott Casey said.

Bar staff followed Evans out onto the street after he refused to pay the $130 cost.

On both occasions, Evans had no wallet or cash on him, the court was told.

When arrested by police, he gave a false name of Richard Wilkins, later admitting “he was just trying to be funny”.

Which is more than the real Richard Wilkins ever managed to pull off on the red carpet.