Daniel Johns And Natalie Imbruglia Call It A Day

We’ve become used to hearing all the rumours about the state of Natalie Imbruglia ella ella eh eh eh and Daniel Johns’ marriage, but even we must admit some sense of shock in hearing that Australia’s highest profile musical romantic partnership has been torn asunder, the couple citing the tyranny of distance as the main culprit – not Paul Mac, you bumming-obsessed kids. Must you try and find the rainbow in everything?

Silverchair frontman Daniel Johns and his actress musician wife Natalie Imbruglia have ended their four-year marriage.

The pair, who married near Port Douglas on New Year’s Eve in 2003, cited distance and career demands for their decision to split.

“While we are very sad that our marriage has ended, we want to make it clear that our parting is amicable and we remain friends,” the pair said in a joint statement last night. “This mutual decision has not been taken lightly or quickly.
“However, our career demands and our lives in different parts of the world have brought us to the point where unfortunately this difficult decision was necessary for both of us. We have simply grown apart through not being able to spend enough time together.”

…

Johns has been concentrating on his music career, including launching a successful collaboration with musician Paul Mac.

Both Johns, 28, and Imbruglia, 32, have publicly joked about — and dismissed — the unsubstantiated rumours about Johns’ sexuality.

Yes indeed. The man likes eye-liner, folks. It is important to remember that this is far from definite proof that he left the missus in favour of being “all up” in Paul Mac’s guts. Two blokes can be friends! Is there anything more beautiful than platonic male love?

“No!”

Good. Glad we got that sorted.

In the meantime, is is heartwarming to learn that the pair remain the closest of friends. This chummery will come in handy when both of them are inevitably snapped up by a fresh showbiz hottie within the next year. There is no way Daniel Johns will stay single with his new buff body now available for touching by those not legally bound to him. Sure, his hairstyle seems to resemble that of an elderly lesbian tennis player, but we’d still definitely tap that… if he swore never to recite his lyrics to us “during”.

As for Nat, well – she still has enough of a profile in the UK to warrant a Daily Mail piece on the split, which means she should do okay romantically in London, what with all the up and coming bands, handsome soap actors, etc. They’ll be ripe for the pickin’! You know, once the wounds have healed and all that. Perhaps Little Britain funnyman David Walliams will cheer her up in the interim?

Despite our hopes for their romantic futures, we still must reiterate our sadness at learning Daniel and Natalie couldn’t make their love work. Sniffle. If you’re strong enough emotionally, go and remember the good times. Ahh, post-wedding glow. They were so young back then. So blissfully unaware of the impending heart pain.