Chuck Norris And Scarlett Johansson The Celebrity Face, Rack Of Political Change
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 6:42 AM on January 5, 2008
For anyone with even a remotely legitimate interest in yesterday's historic Iowa caucus, we refer you to our Beltway brothers' coverage over at Wonkette. We, on the other hand, are purely fixated on how the celebrity factor figures into Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee being handed such landslide mandates for change from voters in the corn-shucking state. Huckabee's acceptance speech--capped by a funky improvisational jazz bass performance loosely inspired by the Barney Miller theme--was greeted by longtime kung-fu sparring companion Chuck Norris, hovering over his shoulder with the kind of warmly proud look one typically associates with future First Ladies. The Democratic side, meanwhile, benefited from a far bustier and less hirsute celebrity endorsement:
23-year-old Scarlett Johansson was by Obama's side in the home stretch, speaking to a small group of high school and college-aged "Barack Stars" at a rally in Coralville, Iowa, on Tuesday."She actually seemed a little shy when she first started speaking," audience member Jason Millsap told PEOPLE. "But [she] warmed up to the crowd, who were eager to ask questions. . . . It was pretty exciting and inspiration to see someone as big as her come and talk to her peers."
"She was asked a question as to why she chose to support Obama and answered it very well in my opinion," added high schooler Peter Caroll, another caucus-goer. "She [explained] how she did research him and found Obama to be [passionate about] most of the issues she deemed important."
We're thrilled to hear that informed-voter Johansson managed to find her political sea-legs after a slightly tentative start, as the star of The Nanny Diaries has made no secret of being entirely energised by this "exciting time for youth culture." In light of her candidate's thrilling victory, and the great strides being made to mobilize young voters through her grassroots, cleavage-based initiative, Scarlett Johansson's Bazooms for Change, the United States might very well have its first African American President in 2008.
Tags: barack obama | chuck norris | mike huckabee | politics | scarlett johansson

Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
CrankYank
Posted 8:21 PM 4/1/08
@SteamyMcFirecrotch: Sorry to get wonkette you, but Edwards is probably left of Obama, and Huckabee's really the Kucinich of conservatives, minus the FLILF. Plus, remember, thus sayeth about 10,000 people willing to give up 3 hours on a Thursday night in Iowa for politics.
CrankYank
Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.
Posted 10:51 AM 4/1/08
I don't know off-hand who Sharon Stone is endorsing (please pardon my ignorance), but she is of course the well-sanded snatch of political change.
Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.
Mel Gibstein
Posted 10:44 AM 4/1/08
ScarJo's tits are way nicer than Chuck's, even though Chuck is now under "Men who look like old lesbians" and is developing nice man-boobs of his own.
Mel Gibstein
foun_dart
Posted 12:23 PM 4/1/08
Chuck Norris's Huckabee endorsement plus his outrage over his undeserved Internet fame retroactively changes the tone of most Norris and Walker Texas Ranger parodies from ironic adoration to utter mockery. Well done, Chuck. It takes a rare talent to make the leap from cult hero to loathed prick so quickly. In the future, more kicking, less talking. Moron.
foun_dart
redmanlaw
Posted 1:16 PM 4/1/08
Close your eyes and imagine Scarlett's speech being delivered by Mindy, King Neptune's daughter from "The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie."
Best line: "Stalling. . .You . . . think . . . I'm . . . stallling . . . "
redmanlaw
spankhaus
Posted 1:07 PM 4/1/08
I heart Chuckabee.
spankhaus
SteamyMcFirecrotch
Posted 12:51 PM 4/1/08
Isn't anyone else concerned that the two most extreme candidates won the caucuses?!
SteamyMcFirecrotch
mesousa
Posted 8:47 PM 4/1/08
Huck's got the all-important "human-punchline vote" locked up. Bravo!
mesousa
DuckyDoom
Posted 11:31 PM 4/1/08
@foun_dart: I always thought he was a prick, honestly. A prick with a helluva kick. Ha.
DuckyDoom