Monday, January 14, 2008

Delta May Be Latest L’Oreal Girl; We Were Hoping She’d Join The Ponds Institute

4:26PM Clem Bastow | Now that Natalie “Boog” Imbruglia is – as much as it pains us to suggest as much – more or less completely worthless without her Silverchair husband Daniel Johns and was dumped from L’Oreal, it’s been whispered that another Aussie starlet could be waiting in the wings to take her place as the company’s questionably powerful mascara model of choice – Delta! Yes, as Crystal Connors sagely said in Showgirls, there’s always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs behind you, and it looks as though Delta would be perfectly happy to break Boogs’ legs if it meant a lucrative beauty contract. “She’s grown up, glammed up and now ready for her close up,” the source said. Any contract would be a lucrative one for the 22-year-old and will certainly have her looking her best for her pending nuptials with Irish crooner and former boy band member Brian McFadden, who popped the question last year. It helped cement Imbruglia’s place on the celebrity stage overseas, before the 32-year-old was dumped from the star line-up which includes Beyonce Knowles, Eva Longoria, Kate Winslet and Scarlett Johannson. The Torn singer, who pocketed $200,000 when she signed on in 2002, quipped “apparently I’m not worth it any more”, when she was axed in July last year. Did you see that? Did you see what The Boog did there? “Apparently I’m not worth it anymore.” GENIUS! Bugger the makeup endorsements, give Natalie Imbruglia her own talk show! More »

Aussie Model’s Oily Boyfriend Detained On Suspicion Of Being The Little Man In The Peanut Butter Jar That Gave Millions Of ’80s Kids Nightmares

4:18PM Clem Bastow | Ho-hum Australian model Cheyenne Tozzi flew into Sydney with celebrity boyfriend Brandon Davis – aka Mr ex-Mischa Barton, and originator of the “firecrotch” dramz – to spend some quality time hanging out where the paparazzi are sure to make them both look important, but the gruesome twosome were held up at customs when it turned out Davis was planning on going buck wild down under. Loaded with US dollars, the 28-year-old was delayed for more than two hours, while his pin-up girlfriend became increasingly agitated while waiting in the arrivals area. “She was pacing around the whole time, with her mobile phone at her ear, trying to look anonymous,” a witness told The Daily Telegraph. “With her sunglasses on inside, everyone was looking at her.” A Customs spokesman declined to comment on individual passenger details for privacy reasons yesterday, but said travellers were required to declare if they were carrying more than $10,000 or the equivalent in foreign currency. Davis, who began dating the younger of the two Tozzi sisters last year, was finally allowed through to meet a waiting car and driver about 10.30am, after arriving on an 8am flight from the US. By that time, Tozzi had been collected by friends in another vehicle, leaving her wealthy beau behind. Davis was later spotted being accosted by some firemen who’d purchased some industrial strength, king-sized oil blotting sheets and were trying to roll him up in them. More »

Amelle Sugababes Goes Batshit Crazy

4:11PM Clem Bastow | When we read this piece about Amelle Berrabah allegedly going nutso after an argument and smashing up a car, we can’t say we were that surprised – after all, it could’ve just been pent up stress following her boyfriend Freddy’s vicious machete attack at Christmas. However, we weren’t prepared for the downright Springer-esque list of reasons why you might call Amelle “troubled” and get away with it: Amelle’s Sugababe bandmates Keisha Buchanan and Heidi Range, have so far stood by troubled Amelle who as been at the centre of a number of highly-publicised incidents since joining girl-band, the Sugababes, in 2006. Just a few weeks ago, boyfriend Freddie Fuller, 25, was left for dead in an horrific machete attack. He is still recovering in hospital from the incident which took place on Christmas Eve. Before that Freddie was cleared of allegations of raping Amelle’s sister Samiya, 20. And another sister Zakiya, 34, was accused of stealing cash and credit cards from patients and colleagues at the hospital where she worked. The Sugababes new single – Denial – is out next month. All well and trashy, but we think one of the photos accompanying the story really says everything that needs to be said (Amelle’s in the middle): Case closed! More »

Kate DeAraugo Is The New Face Of Jenny Craig

3:02PM Jess McGuire | It’s always a good day here at Defamer Australia HQ when we get to write about the Young Divas twice in one day! The latest news? Kate DeAraugo is now the “ambassador” of Jenny Craig! Jenny Craig Australia has announced Young Divas star Kate DeAraugo has joined Jenny Craig as a Celebrity Ambassador. Kate will be featured in the new Jenny Craig ‘Get Real’ advertisements which will be aired nationally from March this year. As one of a number of Jenny Craig celebrity ambassadors, DeAraugo will be used as a model of inspiration for many Australian women who are battling weight loss issues. Kate DeAraugo said: “I am thrilled to be on the Jenny Craig program. I joined after Christmas and looking forward to challenging myself in 2008 and getting a realistic approach on my weight management plan.” Good for you, Kate. Soon our Associate Editor Clem “Clam” Bastow will have to amend her favourite quote of DeAraugo’s – “I was going for a tropical look this evening, and I think I’ve achieved that”, declared in a self-satisfied manner at an awards ceremony when being interviewed about her dress – to “I was going for a tropical skinny look this evening, and I think I’ve achieved that, thanks to Jenny Craig”. (Via Mediaweek’s newsletter) (And thank you, Silent Editor Gnome – your beloved Editor hasn’t had much sleep. A fine day for it here at the HQ, it would seem!) More »

Ain’t No Party Like A K-Rudd Party!

2:25PM Jess McGuire | You know, there’s something kind of nice about Kevin Rudd having the grown up equivalent of a “Back To School” party on his last weekend of freedom before the bespectacled leader of this fine nation knuckles down once more, finally leaving Julia Gillard free to peruse assorted shoe stores looking for comfortable, practical footwear with high grip caterpillar treads. Even better? The star factor, baby! Star factor! Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is determined to enjoy the very last days of his holiday break in Sydney, hosting an intimate dinner with celebrities Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban, Hugh Jackman and Deborra-lee Furness last night. The A-list celebrities, together with Federal Arts and Environment Minister Peter Garrett and his wife Doris, joined the Rudd family for a dinner at Kirribilli House. You’d never see famous types of that calibre coming over for tea at Kirribilli House during the Howard years, now would you? More »

Kylie Promises To (Perhaps, If She Can, Maybe, At Some Point) Bring Her Tour Down Under; Defamer Australia Prepares A Skinny Latte With “Not Much Milk” In Gleeful Anticipation

1:45PM Jess McGuire | Praise the gods, Our Kylie is coming home! Well, sure… technically she’s already been home, scoffing blueberry pancakes, downing skinny lattes, and frightening cafe staff with her ultra-blonde locks. But it looks like she’s definitely considering, if everything works out okay, no concrete dates but it’s on the cards bringing her tour to the Antipodes! Pop princess Kylie Minogue says she is planning to bring her new live show to Australia as soon as possible, but has no firm dates yet The singer would bring her show, KylieX2008, home to Australia “as soon as I can”, she said on Channel 7’s Sunrise program today. “I know it hasn’t been announced here yet,” Minogue said. “I just want to have in my head more solidly what the tour will be and if I can manage what I’ve planned so far. “Of course I would love to come back here. We are plotting and planning right now.” Wonderful news. No doubt the “we” bit refers to her and her gay husband/stylist/whatevs Will Baker, which means we’ll probably find out Kylie’s tour agenda quite shortly due to Mr Baker being snapped by paparazzi holding a large envelope with a To Do list made up of things like “FIND TINY SHINY PANTS FOR THE MISSUS”, “BUY MORE BETTY CROCKER BLUEBERRY PANCAKE MIX”, and “BOOK TICKETS TO AUSTRALIA FOR AUGUST 17TH 2008″ scribbled on it in large, easily photographed font. Also, we rather enjoyed this bit of the story. The former Neighbours star was honoured with an OBE in the Queen’s New Year Honours List in late December, before ringing in 2008 by singing a sexy duet with Paul McCartney. Minogue said her family were more impressed by the OBE, but admitted sharing the stage with “Macca” came a close second. “What a thrill to perform with him,” she said. “I was just going, `legend’.” Ha! How very ocker of her. “I was just going, ‘legend’.” indeed! Why not just say “I was like, fuck – this is tops, ay?” and get it over with? Adorable. More »

YouTube Clip Of The Day

12:47PM Jess McGuire | Defamer Australia has been a devoted fan of the crazy French Canadian ways of songstress Celine Dion for a while now. Our love for the “titanic” warbler was kick started by stumbling across an interview with the lady where she indulged in an insanely long and idiotic rant about her relationship with her husband which involved metaphors about planting gardens, laying manure, turning the soil, etc. Soon we began adding videos of Celine interviews to our YouTube favourites with almost frightening regularity, but we could never quite explain to our friends why her antics brought us such joy. Hopefully, this will no longer be a problem – someone has created the GREATEST CELINE-RELATED YOUTUBE VIDEO CLIP OF ALL TIME. We’ve watched it five times and still can’t stop laughing. We heart Celine. (via the b3ta newsletter) More »

Bjork’s Greatest “Hits” – Wee Icelandic Singer Generously Gives The Media An Excuse To Make Bjork/Beserk Puns Once More

12:42PM Jess McGuire | Pint-sized singer and ostrich costume-enthusiast Bjork has gone old school, yo. Much like that infamous time in 1996 at an airport in Thailand where she pummeled a reporter after they greeted her with “Welcome to Bangkok” (thems fightin’ words!), Bjork is now generating headlines due to an “incident” with a photographer in New Zealand over the weekend. Icelandic singer and songwriter Bjork attacked a newspaper photographer shortly after she arrived at New Zealand’s Auckland International Airport, local media reported today. Bjork, who is in Auckland to perform at the Big Day Out concert on Friday, tore New Zealand Herald photographer Glenn Jeffrey’s shirt in half, after he photographed her arriving at the airport early yesterday. Jeffrey, a news photographer of 25 years, said Bjork was accompanied by a man who asked him not take photos. Asked him not to take photos, eh? What happened next, Glenn? “I took a couple of pictures … “ Of course you did… “… and as I turned and walked away she came up behind me, grabbed the back of my black skivvy and tore it,” he told the New Zealand Press Association. “As she did this she fell over, she fell to the ground,” he said. Bjork on a skivving tearing rampage – not choice, bro. Does the woman have no respect for comfortable, warm couture? We can’t wait to see what she gets up to when she arrives in Oz for the Australian leg of the Big Day Out tour. More »

Golden Globes … To Liveblog or Not To Liveblog?

11:50AM Defamer Hollywood | 10:01pm: ABC, hope you were taking notes. If any of your ideas for The Oscars resemble any of the ideas that NBC utilized tonight in their sham of a “press conference,” your federal broadcasting license will be revoked. Herbert Eugene Ives would’ve been ashamed of your performance tonight, Silverman. You should go to sleep knowing that. 6:59pm: This back-alley broadcast came to an end about 58 minutes or so too late. Billy Bush, who we’re convinced just may be both the resurrection and the light, has deemed to bring Entertainment Weekly coozehound Dave Kriger to the forefront to tell the nation which film HE thinks should be awarded with the Best Drama prize. The EW scribe thinks it should be Michael Clayton, but Billy Bush apparently doesn’t agree and demands another pick from Kriger, lest he be smoted with a tax audit and reassignment to Highlights. The stuffy Britpic Atonement ends up taking the prize, and America yawns. Hey, don’t yawn yet … this means more dripping wet Kiera Knightley ads for us all! They need our consideration, let’s make them work for it. 6:58pm: Oh Golden Globes producers, you missed a PRIME opportunity to launch “I drink your milkshake!” into the national lexicon. 6:56pm: Julie Christie wins for Best Actress, besting the A-List likes of Angie Jolie and Cate Blanchett. She deserved it, but now we know for a fact that NBC got lucky not having to actually air this whole ceremony. Can you imagine how many folks in The Heartland would’ve tuned off by now, having the likes of Marion Cotillard, Ricky Gervais and Julie Christie are walking away winners? 6:54pm: Nancy O’Dell and her luscious, well-displayed rack will not stand (WILL NOT STAND!) to let a clip of a then 23 year-old dripping wet Angelina Jolie frolicking in a pool with an Access Hollywood producer go without commenting that he the reason why we, the viewing public, are seeing it is that her producers are sexist pigs. Hey Miss O’Dell, hope you enjoy the next six minutes of the Golden Globes broadcast ’cause you’ll never host another one again. 6:52: Whoa Mad Men! Bet HBO is kicking themselves something fierce right now for letting Matthew Weiner’s show slip off to AMC. Which reminds us, John From Cincinnati was really putrid wasn’t it? 6:49pm: Sweeney Todd? Best Comedy? Really? We saw it, but it was no Brothers Solomon. But then again, if Billy Bush approves, we must’ve missed something the first time around; he likens Depp and creative lifepartner Tim Burton the Scorsese and DeNiro. By the way, we are so bored. Where’s Kathy Griffin when you need her? 6:46pm: Johnny Depp’s win for Best Actor of the Musical and/or Comedy variety bodes well for his chances to march triumphantly onstage at the Kodak Theater next month. Think he’ll pull a Brando? He should. 6:42pm: Don’t worry, Stevie Spielberg. You’ll get your sloppy 20 minute hummer from the HFPA and the rest of your underlings NEXT January. And now that Julian Schnabel has gone himself and won a Best Director Golden Globe, we’re betting his evening will end by telling a politically inclined brunette, “Let’s go home so I can Diving Bell the Butterfly out of you.” 6:36pm: And come on, we know that Extras is good, but is is NO 30 Rock. Or even Pushing Daisies. With all these big name nominees and all these (relative) no names winning awards, we’re betting that Ben Silverman is laughing maniacally in his Burbank office, glad as hell that he was able to convince people to watch this nonsense without having to spend any real money on the party itself. 6:35pm: The all-seeing, all-knowing Billy Bush has just bestowed Ricky Gervais with his Bush Stamp of Appeal for his work guiding the series Extras. Howevs, judging by the stunned look that he had on his face, we’re pretty sure he thinks that Extras is the show hosted by his dreaded rival, Mark McGrath. 6:31pm: It’s only been 31 minutes? It feels like 31 hours. Especially because they just handed an award to David Duchovny for his work in Californication over heavyweight favorites like Alec Baldwin and Steve Carell. Thankfully, our Host and Father Billy Bush feels the same way we do, and uses the microphone behind his pulpit to blast the HFPA for daring call Californication a comedy. We must concur, as it never makes us laugh, either. 6:25pm:We’re not sure exactly what role Entertainment Weekly Senior Writer Dave Kriger is supposed to be playing on this special. After all, with Billy Bush and Nancy O’Dell as the Play-By-Play and Color Commentators (respectively), does this make Dave Kriger the Tony Siragusa of the special? We digress. No matter what role he is supposed to be playing, he is using this opportunity as an open audition to be Marion Cotillard’s he-bitch (”she’s spectacularly beautiful, 32 years old. Looks nothing like the older woman she plays in the movie.”) Glad to hear you want to bone her, Dave … join the list. 6:23pm: The recent crest of Juno-mania failed to catapault Ellen Page to victory over the frog princess Marion Cotillard’s performance as Edith Piaf in La Vie En Rose. The Academy might as well engrave that Best Actress Oscar for Marion now. 6:19pm: We’re still bored. Not even the fact that Jon Hamm won for his magnificently powerful performance as adman par excellence Don Draper is breaking these duldrums. 6:13pm: You know, we’re trying to manufacture enthuasiasm for this ceremony, we really are. But as we lie here in the first commercial break, we find ourselves missing watching guys like Joaquin Phoenix fight the urge to shotgun a few beers. We miss the fact that Jack won’t be able to inappropriately put his hands on Juno’s homeskillets. Sobriety on this Sunday night is no fun. 6:07pm: Jeremy Piven is not just a member, he’s the president of the Entourage Club For Men. Perhaps more importantly than the Globe he just picked up, he earns the laudits of Future PUSA Billy Bush (”Some characters just break through, and Ari Gold is just one of those characters”). Piven can sleep tight knowing that Billy Bush approves of his work. 6:05pm: Cate Blanchett just won a Golden Globe for I’m Not There. She basked in the glow for all of five second’s before Billy Bush, renowned film historian and master of ceremonies, called her out for not being as good as Amy Ryan. 6:02pm: Wait a minute, the Globes got cancelled? We must have missed the news. First impressions … we’ve never seen a press conference like this. This is like the Palms Casino of press conferences. 5:51pm: We have got to admit, we’re not exactly sure what is about to go down when the Golden Globes “press conference” airs on NBC (and Telemundo!) in roughly 10 American minutes. Either way, we’ll be here, watching, observing and, should the mood strike or the situation warrant it, posting… More »

Uk Press Says Our Nic’s Pregnancy Not Happy Occasion, Actually Filled With Financial And Family Woes

11:31AM Clem Bastow | What a difference a large ocean and 12 or so hours in time zone shifts makes when it comes to joyous celebrity pregnancy announcements. It seems our distant relos across the pond have a rather different view of Nicole Kidman’s recently announced pregnancy than our own press does. Where the Aussie media is happily reporting tales of dad Anthony and mum Janelle delivering the baby and Nicole hanging out at the family home while she takes her antenatal rest, the UK press has another slant on it all, and it’s decidedly less rosy. Nicole, 40, is said by friends to favour giving birth in the state-of-the-art luxury of Sydney’s Prince of Wales private hospital – a procedure that will cost about £23,000. But she is deeply concerned that doing so will upset her sister Antonia, to whom she is very close. Antonia has had all four of her own children at the state-funded Royal Hospital for Women next door – and is adamant it is the best. To complicate matters still further, Antonia presents a TV show called From Here To Maternity, which charts the trials and tribulations of the labour ward of the Royal Hospital. “If Nicole goes private, the birth will cost in the region of 50,000 Australian dollars,” says my source. “The family are joking that this is going to be a million-dollar baby.” So, just in case you missed it, Nicole Kidman is NOT a happy, glowing mum-to-be with a supportive family around her, and rather she is a conniving, money-splashing bitch who wants to make her little sister cry and will stop at nothing to bring this baby into the world wrapped in 24k gold swaddling. We’re sorry the truth had to come all the way from London, but we’re glad we know what’s up. More »