Saturday, January 12, 2008
Golden Globes R.I.P.
12:18PM Defamer Hollywood | The Five Stages of Golden Globes Grief: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Ben Silverman’s prom night totally ruined by those ugly, nerdy, mean writers. The writers try to make it up to him. Britney Spears: High on crazy, and her paparazzo boyfriend. The Dr. Phil mash-up. Jamie Lynn Spears’s hopes to nail the GED. Keeping Up with the Cruises: The UA side deal. A scriptalanche! The bombshell biography. The Mad Money premiere. Boston MarathonGate is over…or is it? Leno on Kimmel. Kimmel on Leno. It’s not nearly as hot as it sounds. Carson Daly’s feelin’ down. American Gladiators: Let the hobbling begin. Stewart and Colbert return to the air, minus their writers, plus some unsightly facial hair. Savor the Critics’ Choice Awards: They’re pretty much all we got. The Axium scandal: Payroll’s lowest hour. Will Smith’s giving away auditing sessions. No need to thank him. People’s Choice Awards a sadder affair than usual. Joaquin Phoenix misspells his name during his vow of silence. Cloverfield: Its name. The buzz. The Statue. Deep inside the CAA Death Star. Johnny Grant passes. Celebrity Rehab not any fun, despite promises of vomit. What are the Weinsteins cooking? More »
We Implore Elvira To Do The Right Thing
12:07PM Defamer Hollywood | Nicole Richie and That Guy From Good Charlotte had a bouncing baby girl and, as celebrities are wont to do, gave her two middle names. The diet for both mother and daughter begins tomorrow! I drink your milshake (dot com)! American Psycho gets a cuddly makeover (via BWE). Ever find yourself wondering what Paris, Britney and Lindsay would do if they used their powers for good instead of evil? Vh1’s exceptional “Celebrity Eye Candy” has the answers. Now if only they had a website! Now that it’s almost the weekend and you’ll finally have some time to kill, take some time to peruse Slate’s Movie Club. Jessica Alba like WHOA! And Maila Nurmi, best known as Vampira, died today at the age of 86. All we know is that Elvira better show her face at her funeral. More »
‘W’ Magazine Given Exclusive Photo-Tour Of The CAA Death Star
11:50AM Defamer Hollywood | We haven’t had time to fully digest W’s just-released, Hollywoodcentric “A-List” issue (it is, after all, Friday afternoon, and the liquid lunch hit us a little harder than we anticipated), but we did take a moment to have at look at the magazine’s exclusive tour of the CAA Death Star, a piece that includes some stunning photography of the evil agenting monolith’s intimidating new Century City headquarters. Writes Kevin West on the current Creative Artists leadership’s wise display of restraint in not trying to outdo co-founder Michael Ovitz’s legendary, I.M. Pei-designed shark-tank: “In the end, what makes CAA’s building most interesting is not that it’s an architectural masterpiece, but rather that it isn’t. And that may be its smartest success. For [Bryan] Lourd and Co., the heirs of a brilliant visionary, to attempt to outbuild Ovitz would have smacked of edifice-complex insecurities–or, even worse, unbridled vanity, since no architecture should distract attention from the real stars of the building, the CAA clientele.” Still, Lourd did allow himself a single, selfish extravagance. After the jump, the partner invites W’s photographer to observe him in the custom-designed sanctuary where he winds down after a hard day planning the total domination of the industry: CAA 2.0 [W Magazine] More »
Give Us Your Poor, Your Tired, Your Headless Masses Longing To See ‘Cloverfield’
10:45AM Defamer Hollywood | If Harry Knowles’s ecstatic, Greatest Single Experience of All Time Including My First Breath, First Kiss, and the First Time I Tasted Cherry Garcia review of Cloverfield wasn’t enough to get you excited about Paramount’s latest release, perhaps we can tempt you with this headless Statue of Liberty replica currently erected on their lot. Like a triple-dog-dare calling out to Bin Laden–whom we strongly suspect is Cloverfield-obsessed io9 commenter Slush-O-Matic–there exists right now perhaps no better temporary monument to Americans’ unwavering desire to have the shit scared out of them in the face of growing global adversity. [Photo: Curbed LA] Headless Lady Liberty Being Pimped Out On Melrose [CurbedLA] More »
Seven Places That Britney Spears Would Never Be Spotted By The Paparazzi
9:33AM Defamer Hollywood | Is she in New York City? Is she in Mexico? Is she at a Shell station in Hermosa Beach buying cigs? These are the kinds of riveting questions that had a nation (and the Defamer staff) glued to the AM radio yesterday, furiously dialing between stations in search of an update on The Animal’s whereabouts. While we eventually found out the answers (no, yes and yes), we thought about a few places that the paparazzi would never even THINK to look for Brit Brit. 7) Hyde – Because NOBODY goes there anymore. 6) The library – No, not The Library Bar. We mean an actual library. You know, the place with card catalogs? 5) Daycare – Clearly Sean Preston and Jayden James have ample time to bite each other at home. 4) Cedars-Sinai Hospital – That was
In Time Of Unrest, Swag Suites Bravely Supporting Stars’ Inalienable Rights To Receive Free Crap
8:45AM Defamer Hollywood | Even if the cancellation of the Golden Globes and its satellite parties had been precipitated by nuclear, rather than labor, Armageddon, you could be sure that a radioactive, iridescent army of swag suite staffers would still be roaming the smoldering Hollywood hellscape, distributing designer jeans, sunglasses, and coupons redeemable for full-body laser-resurfacing procedures to any semi-recognizable survivors of the blast. Though gifting professionals initially feared that the sober climate of this crippled awards season might dissuade people from turning out to collect their frivolous wares, they soon realized that the siren call of free shit would be far too seductive to ignore: “We were afraid no one was going to show up … and we almost backed out, but it really paid off,” said Cindy Lott, who was touting Xtreme Lashes eyelash extensions at another event in Beverly Hills. “There were more RSVPs because people aren’t at their stylists.” “I knew the actors would still be supporting the gifting,” said Susan Setz, who was showing her Wild Rose Tattoo Shirts at a gift suite in Brentwood, a neighborhood known for its high celeb quotient. “I looked at it as a wonderful opportunity.” [...] Like awards shows, gifting is a Hollywood tradition. Maybe the Golden Globe suites are proof the industry hasn’t entirely shut down. “Stars want to come and celebrate,” said vendor Niels Christiansen. “They support the writers, but they still want to have fun.” Fortunately, the Guild has been silent about the continuing operation of the suites, as there could be no greater solidarity-undermining misstep than to interfere with their high-profile brethren in SAG’s God-given right to collect as much freely proffered crap as their assistants can carry–there are, after all, only so many life-altering sacrifices one can be asked to make even in the name of a just cause. [Photo: AP] Globes show canceled, but not the swag [Yahoo! News] More »
An Important Incremental Update On The Death Of The Golden Globes
7:49AM Defamer Hollywood | It’s a Tarnished Golden Globes One-Hour Announcement-Of-The-Winners Press Conference Extravaganza Free-For-All! The Hollywood Foreign Press Association has just revealed that NBC no longer has an exclusive on Sunday night’s much-anticipated list-reading, inviting any media outlet with 60 or so free minutes and some warm bodies to spare to drop by and cover the event themselves: “After discussions with NBC, Hollywood Foreign Press Association President Jorge Camara today announced that the HFPA will have complete control of its 65th Annual Golden Globe Awards Announcement that is scheduled to take place Sunday, January 13 at 6:00 p.m. PST in the International Ballroom of The Beverly Hilton. Under the new arrangement, there will be no restrictions placed on media outlets covering the press conference.” There is no word, however, if refreshments will be served to anyone who bothers to show up. [Variety] More »
Nicole Richie On Verge Of Procreation
7:29AM Defamer Hollywood | The 200-decibel siren atop Cedars Sinai, which alerts all celebrity tabloid editors within a twenty-five mile radius about breaking celebrity-related medical events taken place within its walls, is currently wailing to signal the imminent arrival of Nicole Richie’s baby. “She’s going to start pushing soon,” said the guy from Good Charlotte who impregnated her in the vincinity of a reporter; stayed tuned for important overheard updates regarding the exact measurements for her current vaginal dilation. [UsMagazine.com] More »Viewers Stubbornly Refusing To Abandon Writerless Leno
6:20AM Defamer Hollywood | For at least their first three nights back on the air, the writerless Jay Leno has triumphed over WGA-sanctioned rival David Letterman in the Nielsen wars. In another sign that the TV apocalypse may finally be upon us, shows like Wife Swap, Supernanny, The Biggest Loser, and Celebrity Apprentice are so far either posting the same numbers as or outperforming the scripted shows they’ve replaced for their networks. [Variety] · Walden Media deems High School Musical star/naughty nudie-photo-scandal victim Vanessa Hudgens still pure enough to employ, signing her on to their coming-of-age dramedy Will. [THR] ·Once again indulging the female facial hair fetish she previously explored via her memorable Frida unibrow, Salma Hayek will play the bearded lady in Paul Weitz’s Cirque du Freak. [Variety] How is the writers strike affecting Canadians starved for imported American TV content? Click through and find out! [THR] · Christian Bale is “in negotiations” to join Michael Mann’s movie Public Enemy as the FBI agent hot on the trail of Johnny Depp’s legendarily beschlonged mobster John Dillinger. [Variety] More »
