Friday, January 11, 2008
Kevin Rudd Photoshopped Into A Figure Of Physical Beauty Likely To Haunt Our Dreams Forever
1:39PM Jess McGuire | News Ltd are rather concerned about Kevin Rudd. It seems our new PM has taken more time off over Christmas than some would like, and they’ve decided to voice their worries regarding this issue.
With Australians heading back to work facing soaring petrol prices and the threat of another interest rate rise, the man in charge of the country remains holed up in his plush new Sydney home.
Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, who is on leave until Monday, is staying at Kirribilli House where he is “using the time to prepare for the year”, according to a spokeswoman.
“He’s at Kirribilli going through Government briefings, preparing for the year,” she told The Daily Telegraph.
Sure, sure. Don’t lie to us, he’s been playing with his Wii!
But with Harbour views and his family by his side, Mr Rudd has refused to budge from Sydney’s most spectacular address.
“Refused to budge”? Have there been failed attempts to coax him out of Kirribilli that we don’t know about? The above sentence leads us to visualise Kevin barricading the doors, loading his rifle, chewing tobacco, and screaming out the window “Y’all ain’t never gonna take me alaaaahve!” before firing off some warning shots.
Our favourite bit about the entire article has to be the accompanying photoshopped image of the Prime Minister. For some inexplicable reason, Kevin Rudd’s lengthy holiday has inspired something straight from a gay porn site. Is there a News Ltd staffer using this story as an excuse to finally publish some of his private Kevin Rudd Wank Bank Collection works?
More » 
Congratulations, Toni Collette!
1:15PM Jess McGuire | One of Defamer Australia’s favourite Aussies-Dun-Good Toni Collette and her husband, (former?) Gelbison drummer Dave Galafassi have welcomed their first child into the world. Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Ms Collette’s own “little miss sunshine” (< -- SEE WHAT WE DID THERE?) Sage Florence...
Australian actress Toni Collette has given birth to her first child in Sydney.
The Muriel’s Wedding star and her husband, musician Dave Galafassi, welcomed a daughter on Wednesday, January 9 in Sydney, reports People Magazine.
The baby girl has been named Sage Florence.
“All are well and very happy,” says Collette’s rep.
The couple were married four years ago in a Buddhist ceremony.
Delightful! More » 
The Writers Strike Experience: Day 65
12:20PM Mark | Day 65 of the strike: probably looked a like Day 64 of the strike, not to mention Day 66. Our pals at Gizmodo had a little fun with a TV-B-Gone and the seemingly unlimited number of prank targets at CES. Donda West: the autopsy report. Hey! Wookiee covered in Post-Its! More »
Sasquatch Doesn’t Love Patrick: A ‘Wife Swap’ Spinoff Is Born
11:55AM Seth | Not everything in the bold sociological experiment known as Wife Swap always goes smoothly: Take for example last night’s arranged-marriage lab rats, Patrick (according to his name tag) and temporary spouse, uh, Sasquatch–she of the man-hands and unrealistic household-cleanliness goals. Frankly, we don’t know who Sasquatch thinks she is, waltzing into Patrick’s perfectly lovely, catshit-laden home and demeanoring him by insisting he dispose of the feline feces. Watch Video Wife Swap More »
11:30AM Mark | In a move that’s sure to disappoint thousands of Written By subscribers, the WGA West has announced that it’s callig off its own awards banquet, a non-televised affair once scheduled to take place at the Bonaventure Hotel on February 9th. Weirdly, however, it seems that the left-coasted outpost of the Guild didn’t inform the WGA East of their plans before they put out a press release, a turn of events so disorienting that a THR editor, obviously exhausted by the non-stop barrage of awards-cancellation developments of the past few days, pushed through this amusingly scatological headline in response to the news. [THR] More »
Blog Post Goes Mysteriously Missing After Poking Around Into Katie Holmes’s Involvement In Boston Marathon
10:40AM Seth | Of the many conspiracies swirling around Mrs. Kate Holmes-Cruise, none have provoked more heated debate lately–more so even than the one claiming she’s L. Ron Hubbard’s turkey-basted demon-child receptacle–than the question of her involvement in the New York City Marathon. (Our own voiced skepticism in a recent post instantly turned the Defamer comments section into a makeshift headquarters for the growing movement, where Grassy Stain and Magic Nipple theorists swapped information hungrily.) The mystery deepens after the jump: An e-mail blast received today from usmagazine.com provided a link to an exclusive about the Mad Money star having registered for the Boston Marathon, and went on to suggest that strings had been pulled to get her in. All traces of the story have now disappeared from their website. Coincidence? Or was the post awakened in the dead of night to the dark inside of a pillowcase and the dread-inducing sound of unspooling duct tape, only to be shuffled into an awaiting van and never heard from again? Luckily, we managed to salvage the killed (!) story in time, which we reproduce for you below. Keep in mind that the same story is apparently currently on newsstands, so we’re not exactly talking Woodward and Bernstein caliber reporting here. But still: Katie Holmes. The Boston Marathon. Do the math. EXCLUSIVE: Katie Holmes Registers for Boston Marathon Katie Holmes has signed on to run the Boston Marathon, Us Weekly reports in its new issue, on newsstands now. The 29-year-old star of Mad Money — who recently said she was “so happy” for Tom Cruise’s pregnant ex Nicole Kidman — had placed 34,193rd among 39,085 entrants in the New York City marathon (26.2 miles in about 5 hours and 30 minutes) on Nov. 4, which means she didn’t qualify by merit for the April 21st race in Boston. Runners in the Boston Marathon must have specific qualifying times. For Holmes’ age group, that would mean finishing a previous marathon in 3 hours and 40 minutes. The actress “received an exemption,” a marathon insider tells Us, because race organizers “occasionally give out ‘charity entrances.’” UsMagazine.com More »
Weinstein Company, WGA About To Announce Deal Allowing Harvey Weinstein To Abuse Guild Writers Again
10:00AM Mark | According to the AP, The Weinstein Company says it’s about to reach the same kind of interim deal with the WGA that United Artists signed back on Monday, with the papers necessary to get back to work with union writers possibly signed by the end of the day. (Let the Official Side Deal PressReleaseWatch begin! Exciting, we know.) Once the contract is finalized, Weinstein can expect a scriptalanche like one that is reportedly burying Tom Cruise; TWC employees will undoubtedly be rejoicing that their boss will have a fresh supply of three-hole-punched projectiles to launch at their heads at the slightest provocation, as they’re probably a little tired of dodging the same stale batch of screenplays he’s had to use since the start of the strike. Weinstein Co. Expects Deal With Writers [AP] Previously: United Artists Mogul Tom Cruise Reportedly Buried Under Mountain Of Thousands Of Scripts More »
Callea-Watch: From The Hairdresser’s Mouth
9:50AM Clem Bastow | The rumour mill has been going into overdrive lately as everyone speculates as to whether newly-single Anthony Callea is in fact dating his “good friend” Tim Campbell.
Well, being the well-connected types we are, we may be able to pour cold water on that particular item. A Defamer Australia pal who works in a Melbourne hairdressing salon frequented by Lil Anthony tells us that Callea used to attend his salon of choice quite regularly with his ex-BF in tow – i.e., he’s a man who is not afraid to get his tips frosted with his partner present.
However, our pal says that Anthony has been seen just as regularly since the break-up, flying solo, and looking rather glum and very single.
Doesn’t sound like the sort of behaviour you’d expect from a man who is apparently being romantically fed champagne and strawberries by a hot ranga ex-soapie star, does it?
So there you have it – with our network of spies and thanks to our exhaustive powers of deduction, we can – probably – guarantee* that, yes boys, Anthony Callea is still single!
* NB: not a real guarantee. More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Bookies’ Favourite
9:34AM Clem Bastow | Now that we’ve all had a day or so to recover from the shock of Amy Winehouse’s “just pour a bucket of White King on it, luv” hair makeover, it’s time to get back to business – to wit, the rich business of placing bets!
You may have seen people, come the new year, around your office watercooler or local bar placing unofficial bets on which celebs will end up dead or in the clink, but it seems Winegums has shot to the top of the charts when it comes to the bookmakers’ official choice of celeb most likely to head to jail in 2008:
UK bookmaking giants William Hill have listed the soul singer as joint 11-1 jail favourite along with wild rocker Pete Doherty, UK newspaper The Daily Star reports.
…”2007 has been a year to forget for many celebrities,” William Hills spokesperson Rupert Adams said. “We have seen Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and now Kiefer all end up behind bars.
Britney Spears is at 16-1 for jail time in 2008 while former jailbird and socialite Paris Hilton is a long shot at 33-1.
Reports that Georgette Fielder-Civil was seen racing to her local TAB to put her life’s savings on Winegums could not be substantiated at the time of press. More » 
