Though millions of Australians were ready to wail in the streets at the rumoured news that Sophie "Motorcycle Dance" Monk and Benji "The Slightly Fatter And More Tattooed One" Madden were about to split, the country can breathe a collective sigh of relief - it is not so!

In a statement to US Magazine, the couple's publicist wrote: "As Nicole Richie and Joel Madden anticipate the birth of their first child, a rep for Madden's rocker brother, Benji, confirms that, despite reports of a split, his romance is still going strong.

"In response to recent rumors that the couple had broken up, Good Charlotte's rep tells Us: "Benji Madden and Sophie Monk are together and very happy."

Evidently this is such a cause for celebration that News Ltd created a slideshow to the effect of providing reverence for our greatest celebrity coupling since Tom and Nicole - which we give thanks for, as it allows us all to bask in the glory of this:

For which, we should all give solemn thanks.

Former Celebrity Mum of the Year Kerry Katona has apparently decided that boozing and coke-ing and all the rest of it isn't what it's cracked up to be, and has sought solace where most sane people would - at a tarot reader.

Yes, Kerry and her family continue to feed the UK tabloids precisely the sort of stuff they were formed for in the first place - and, in case you've forgotten, Chipshop is currently pregnant!

A distressed Kerry Katona has visited a tarot reader for guidance as her family begins to disintegrate again.

The TV star and her mother-in-law are locked in a war of words, both of them accusing each other of physical attacks.

Mum-to-be Kerry has claimed that Marilyn Croft, 59, slapped her in the face after a row at a New Year's Eve party and left her fearful that she would miscarry her fourth child.

However, Marilyn has said that Kerry, 27, had slapped her following a row over drinking and smoking - at the same party.

Damn Keeping Up With The Kardashians, could some forward-thinking celebreality executive please sign up the entire Katona clan for their own prime-time television show?

We'd watch it!

It's all business as usual now that Amy's back from her tropical getaway, as she's seemingly been turfed from the plane and back onto the chilly streets of London in her traditional get-up of ballet slippers and not much else.

Presumably after her little airport strip routine she delivered locked-up hubby Blake Fielder Civil a dish of the blood of twenty child brides for his supper.

We were, however, tickled (though not in any coprophiliac way, mind) by this little piece detailing Winegums' bathroom exploits during her stay with apparent celebrity guru du jour, Bryan Adams:

Winehouse spent most her time in the bog.

A pal said: “She didn’t really enjoy her holiday.

“She was taken out by a sickness bug and spent a lot of her time in Bryan Adams’ loo.”

Bless.

Do you think Bryan Adams took to his newfound role and brought Amy pristine bunches of Cottonelle, like the bouquets of freshly-sharpened pencils in You've Got Mail, but even lamer?

Eddie McGuire is said to be sweating as he - and seemingly all Australians with the ability to read, if you believe News Ltd - nervously awaits an unauthorised biography being penned by a former Channel Nine staffer.

Just what is in said book? Buggered if we know what, since it seems no one is the wiser other than to say it will cast more light on Eddie's love of "boning" than ever before.

In what is expected to be one of the most highly-anticipated releases of 2008, it can be revealed former Nine reporter and personality Patrick Lindsay is well under way writing the McGuire story.

The game show host is understood to be "nervously" co-operating with the author, who has previously penned biographies on General Peter Cosgrove and triathlete Greg Welch.

...On the back of Gerald Stone's devastating tome, Who Killed Channel 9, this book, which will almost certainly dig up his troubled time as CEO and that "boning" comment, is poised to be yet another headache for Nine and McGuire.

Poor Eddie; we're sure that behind that maniacal grin there lurks the tears of a clown. He probably goes home every night to his well-loved stuffed magpie toy, Bony, and has a good cry about it all.

We, however, just want to know if the book will shed some more light on this photo from 2005:

Lock in that final round of flaming Sambuca shots, Eddie!

In news set to excite the readership that apparently warranted the UK press' constant coverage of Kylie Minogue's various hairstyles, our lady of the bum-chin, Bec Hewitt, has given herself what looks to be a home dye job - and what a stunning colour it is, too!

If we were Joh Bailey, we'd say it was "Influenced by that great lothario of old, Pepe Le Pew, but with a modern twist" - though clearly the team at Confidential was as stumped for adjectives as Our Bec probably was for choice when faced with the dye section at Priceline:

True, it's a paradigm shift the likes of which has never been seen in the ex-soapie stars/current tennis WAGs world until today.

She has been a blonde and a brunette - but never before has Bec Hewitt been both at the same time.

Now all we need is for Baby Mia to be given her own child-sized version of mummy's fashionable hairdo and the entertainment for this year's Logies ceremony is done and dusted!

· Click the above image for our video recap of last night's various acts of talk-show-host facial hair removal, in which a unibrow is plucked, a Moses-beard shredded, and a drifter-thicket shaved. At least Conan still seems committed to resisting the siren call of his razor until his writers return.
· The Carpetbagger finds the Golden Globes credentialing desk to be the loneliest place in the world.
· In this case at least, The Spy Who Licked Me doesn't refer to some kind of pornographic reimagining of 007's adventures in Her Majesty's sexy service.
· Somehow, we forgot that it's Zahara's birthday. The middle children always get lost in the shuffle.

It's looking more and more like Axium's downfall may have been the result of the brass illicitly dipping their hands into the company cookie jar. The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that their president, Ruben Rodriguez, is no longer with the firm AND that the IRS is hot on the trail. To that end, we'd like to share this email from a tipster who used to work with the deep-sixed and Chapter 7'd payroll and accounting service:

"The reason for this is all because of the two owners [Ron Garber and John Visconti]. They mismanaged funds and sent a very profitable company and all of its employees and production payroll clients down the drain. They could have fixed things but decided not to. All 350 plus employees were notified via email not to show up for work and are most likely not going to be paid for their last week or two. Nobody had any idea this was going to happen since everything had been going so well. It is like another Enron."

Got any more info? Email us!

It seems the interwebz is going nuts over this Peter Russell Clarke video. Everyone's favourite cheese lover of the 80's has quite a mouth on him, bless his Tourette-y cotton socks..

(No embedding available, so click on the picture to follow through to the YouTube page).

Rather than take offense at NBC prom king Ben Silverman's sneering attack on the jealous, unattractive Writers Club nerds who forced the cancellation of the Enchantment Under the Hollywood Sea Dance he'd been looking forward to since last semester, some WGA members instead have generously decided to give the senior class co-chairman the party he so badly wanted to keep alive. Next Thursday, United Hollywood and Hot in Hollywood will throw him the Benjamin Silverman High Winter Prom outside NBC's Burbank studios, hoping that their guest of honor and date Nick Counter will at least drop by to share one spotlight waltz in front of their picketing, tuxedoed schoolmates.

• Dear Ben Silverman: Prom Is Not Canceled [United Hollywood]
• Previously: NBC's Ben Silverman Blames 'Mean, Ugly' WGA Nerds For Ruining His Golden Globes Prom [Defamer]

And here we thought The Martha Stewart Show was the only place to tune for a slice of darkly awkward pie: Dirty Jobs host Mike Rowe popped by The Rachael Ray Show today to discuss the always-appetizing topic of roadkill removal. It was clearly a sensitive subject for the home-cooking guru, who soon admitted to a past littered with vehicular critterslaughter. Nothing, however, could have prepared the audience for the conscience-clearing admission that was to come, a tale so shocking it was immediately met with an audible gasp from the studio audience, followed by a sneaking suspicion that the secret ingredient in her signature Meaty Mac n' Cheese might not be "lean ground beef" as the recipe officially calls for. The chilling confession after the jump.

• Rachael Ray Show

Read More »

NBC 's Ben Silverman has heard your cries for more American Gladiators, TV fans starved for anything that's not a CSI rerun, and is now reportedly mulling how many more episodes of his just-launched hit series to order. (His initial instinct is restraint: "We don't want to order 60 of them.") Also, he's cooking up something so super-secret for the new show's finale lead-in to his upcoming Knight Rider movie that, "If I [told you], Wolf and Hulk would show up at your door." Our best guess: a live WGA Nerds Vs. Gladiators deathmatch between scribes kidnapped from the picket line and his well-muscled minions, during which the prom-ruining meanies he so disdains will be pummeled in front of millions of viewers for his amusement. [TV Week]

Sometimes--particularly when we find ourselves creating topic tags like "Sacha Baron Cohen's Junk"--we are prone to having minor lightbulb moments, such as the one just moments ago in which it suddenly occurred to us that the Sweeney Todd star might be inordinately preoccupied with his own manhood. It having already been revealed that it was his idea to outfit his Adolfo Pirelli character with certain below-the-belt costuming enhancements, the NY Daily News delves even deeper into the British comedian's priapic self-fascination, discovering, among other Cohen-bone bits, the reason behind that strategically placed black bar in the Borat movie's climactic naked wrestling scene:

Kathleen Tracy reports in her new bio, "Sacha Baron Cohen: From Cambridge to Kazakhstan," that "the apparent adrenaline rush to survive under Davitian's ample weight" caused an awkward surge of blood toward one of Cohen's extremities.

The film was spared an NC-17 rating by that long, rectangular fig leaf.

At least we were spared a scene in which Borat visits a plastic surgeon to have a reverse circumcision performed "so Pamela Anderson won't think he's Jewish. [Cohen] dropped his pants," presenting his manhood for inspection, only to have the doctor recognize him from one of his earlier comic incarnations. "Wait! You're Ali G!" the doc exclaimed, ruining the whole scene.

Once again, Cohen's own notoriety proved to be his own worst enemy, as what could have easily become one of the movie's most memorable sequences wound up on the cutting-room floor, so to speak--and all because one savvy inverse-mohel was so familiar with the shlong-obsessed prankster's canon, he instantly recognized him the second he laid eyes on his patient's world famous package.

• Sacha Baron Cohen pads his part [NY Daily News]

Tips began flooding the Defamer mailbox just minutes ago that Axium International, a leading entertainment industry payroll agency that works with Warner Bros. among other studios, shut their doors overnight and have apparently declared bankruptcy. We called their Los Angeles, Burbank and New York offices in an attempt to get comment, and all three calls went straight to the company voicemail (urging us to "call back during regular office hours"). One of our sources told us that Axium "fired everyone without warning" earlier today and is holding onto over $100,000 in payroll money recently deposited from the DGA. An email chain describing the situation that was sent to the LA Producers Yahoo group follows after the jump.

From: LAProducer@yahoogroups.com [mailto:LAProducer@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of [REDACTED]
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2008 1:36 PM
To: LAProducer@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [LAProducer] For those of you not on CoPros

Axium/Avalon closed this morning. Here are two emails that were on copros and since no one here is talking about it I thought maybe some of you might not know.

Hi, all.

I just spoke with Andre at Axium and it is true. They were told yesterday to remove their personal belongings and not do any more work. All the Axium offices worldwide (LA, NY, CHI, London, Mexico City, Canada) are shut down permanently, and the accounts have been frozen. It does not appear that the Axium employees are going to be
paid for their last week of work or any sort of severance, as it is indeed a bankruptcy.

---------------------------------

Hi, again.

Understandably, there is going to be some confusion over this for the next couple of days as the news filters out to the crewpeople who will be invariably calling you for these answers.

Andre has spoken with several of his clients at the accounting level of the production companies he deals with, and I imagine this is going on throughout the company as all of the paymasters ultimately have
solid relationships with their clients. At this point, you should talk to your company controller to see what action they have been told to make.

There are a few different scenarios but, rather than rumor-mongering, I suggest going through your company controller as they have probably heard from your paymaster already, or will within the next couple of hours.

More on this story as it happens.

In a mind-warping instance of teen-sex-comedy art imitating life, actor Christopher Mintz-Plasse, who played Superbad's McLovin, aka the Crown Prince of Fake-Hawaiian-I.D.-Brandishing Illicit Alcohol-Procuring Activities, was spotted by the staff at New York's Diner restaurant: "[One of the friends] had ordered a Stella and wine for himself and [McLovin] was drinking it. I was like, 'I think that guy's 17 years old -- you're going to be written up.' He came in again the next night, and I said, 'I think that guy's McLovin -- you should card him,' and the same thing happened: His buddy asked for the drink for him." [Grub Street]

With yesterday's news that Nicole Kidman is pregnant with husband Keith Urban's baby (his little Cowboy-hatted fish can swim!), the one irrefutable bit of evidence that Kidman's privacy-guarding flacks used to dispel the circulating rumors ("She can't possibly be having a baby! She's far too busy filming a movie that would render any such dramatic physical fluctuations a major inconvenience!") has now revealed itself to be utterly obsolete. Not only has Kidman left production on The Reader, but People is now reporting that she's been replaced by another A-lister:

Kate Winslet is stepping in to take over the role vacated by Nicole Kidman in The Reader, PEOPLE has exclusively learned.

Sources confirm that, in fact, Winslet was originally offered the role but couldn't commit due to schedule conflicts. Kidman pulled out of the film after announcing her pregnancy.

The arrangement is one of those rare last-minute casting changes that benefits all parties involved, with Kidman given time to focus on her exciting pregnancy, Winslet a meaty part in a sweeping World War II epic, and the filmmakers the chance to work with one of the most celebrated actresses of her generation, who promises to bring entirely new, unhindered-by-temporary-facial-paralysis layers to the role.

• Kate Winslet Taking Over Nicole Kidman's Role [People]

Even though Steven Spielberg's disembodied head is still floating over the countdown timer relentlessly ticking off the minutes until Sunday night's One-Hour Golden Globes Press Conference Spectacular on the Hollywood Foreign Press Association's website (really, between the counter and Spielberg's sad little noggin, is there a more depressing corner on the internet right now?), the HFPA has announced that it's sparing the directing deity the indignity of receiving his Cecil B. DeMille award via FedEx by postponing the honor until their 2009 ceremony. While there are certainly those who'll see this latest development as yet another depressing reminder that no one is immune to the effects of the ongoing labor unrest, we prefer to see it as an encouraging sign that the Globes organizers have inside information that the strike might possibly come to an end before next January.

• Globes push Spielberg honor to '09 [Variety]

How many producers does it take to put out a Jessica Simpson disaster that earned $1,322 in its opening weekend and has racked up a whopping $6,422 over its first 14 days? Ten, apparently, including Simpson's dad, who probably personally bought the tickets that pushed the movie past the crucial $5,000 box office milestone. [Risky Biz Blog]

· The Los Angeles County Economic Development Corp. estimates that the cancellation of the Globes "could" cost the local economy more than $80 million; should the Oscars also go down, the organization says L.A. can expect another $130 million to be flushed away. [Variety]
· The DGA announces the nominations for their yearly awards, with There Will Be Blood's Paul Thomas Anderson, No Country's Coen Brothers, Michael Clayton's Tony Gilroy, Into the Wild's Sean Penn, and The Diving Bell and the Butterfly's Julian Schabel all earning the official esteem of their behind-the camera peers. [Variety]

· Meanwhile, the DGA and the AMPTP are "still far" from setting a date for their contract talks. [Variety]
· On Monday night, newly minted NBC hit American Gladiators fell off "a modest" 19 percent from its high-rated, two-hour Sunday premiere extravaganza, a result demonstrating the public's still-healthy appetite for primetime bloodsport. [THR]
· Quentin Tarantino, Marcia Gay Harden, Jason Reitman, Sandra Oh, and Alan Alda have all been selected to sit on this year's Sundance jury. [THR]

It's January in Hollywood, and that means it's time for Mr. Blackwell to once again push aside the heavy marble lid of his flawlessly appointed crypt in the ritzier district of the Hollywood Forever Retirement Community, and deliver the 48th edition of his Annual Worst-Dressed Women List. In a rare display of magnanimity which could indicate he might actually be softening in his third geologic era on Earth, Blackwell has left Britney Spears off completely, showing a Dr. Philian empathy for the singer at a time "when her personal life is in such upheaval." This year's results after the jump:

Blackwell relies on verse like never before in his barbed take-downs of the sartorially challenged, offering rhymed couplets on everyone from Kelly Clarkson ("She may be the queen of 'Pro-Active' - but that wardrobe looks downright radioactive!") to Bond girl Eva Green ("A profusion of confusion from toes to nose!"). Also on the list: Mary-Kate Olsen ("a tattered toothpick-trapped in a hurricane,"), Jessica Simpson ("a global fashion curse,") and this year's list-topper Victoria "skinny-mini monstrosity" Beckham. Yearly favorite Paris Hilton, however, was squeezed out to inexplicably make room for another Olsen--Alison Arngrim (aka Little House on the Prairie's Nellie Olsen), a virtual nobody whose inclusion smacks distinctly of a personal ax-grinding, perhaps after the former child star unwittingly cut Blackwell off in the Beverly Center parking lot. The rest of the list is here.

• Posh Spice Tops Mr. Blackwell's Worst Dressed List [usmagazine.com]

If you're inclined to believe in the wisdom of crowds (well, in this instance, the wisdom of trainwreck-craving mobs), then perhaps the celebrity-mental-health professionals of Cedars Sinai shouldn't have been so willing to rid themselves of tantrum-throwing, high-profile charge Britney Spears even a minute before the conclusion of the 72-Hour Handcuffed To A Radiator Until She Chills The Fuck Out Watch under which the troubled part-time mom was supposedly being detained. We, however, choose not to share in the bleak prediction of ExtraTV.com's readership, instead trusting that Dr. Phil, even after abandoning his poorly received plans for a nationally televised intervention, will still find a way to deliver the tough love it will take to get Spears' life back on track.

• You Tell Us: Is Britney the Next Anna Nicole? [Extra TV]

Madonna and Guy Ritchie popped up in quite the most unexpected of places today--touring the slums of Mumbai, where she was "showered with rose and marigold petals," and dangled bottles of antibiotics in front of the locals' faces which she happily turned over just as soon as they signed a document ostensibly converting them for the rest of eternity to Kaballah. [AP]

The agonizingly slow demise of the Golden Globes ceremony yesterday, death-throes NBC valiantly tried to stave off with some unorthodox emergency surgical procedures that would've left their awards-show patient hideously mangled but still clincally alive, couldn't have been easy on network-topping perfect storm Ben Silverman.
Obviously devastated by the sobering realization that nothing he could do might save the doomed Globes from its strike-mandated press conference fate, he reached out to Ryan Seacrest, always a compassionate shoulder to cry on in difficult times like these, to lament how the "ugly" and "mean" nerd-bullies of the WGA were ruining his Hollywood prom:

Earlier Monday, NBC Entertainment cochief Ben Silverman told E! News anchor Ryan Seacrest that the network was "obviously trying to find a solution to satisfy fans of these great movies and all the incredible stars who have worked so hard all year and got this incredible opportunity.

"Sadly, it feels like the nerdiest, ugliest, meanest kids in the high school are trying to cancel the prom. But NBC wants to try to keep that prom alive."

Our heart goes out to Silverman as he continues to work through the grieving process following the cancellation of his first dance as head of NBC. Hopefully, by the time Sunday night's awards announcement event rolls around, he'll have come to terms with the crushing letdown to the point where he doesn't feel the need to numb the pain of his loss by consuming the contents of his limo's mini-bar as it idles outside the Beverly Hilton, then crash the press conference with his bitchy-hot prom-queen date in tow to bitterly declare, "Those fucking nerds can't ruin my night! Who wants to party with the cool kids back at my place? My parents are totally out of town for the weekend and I have the key to the liquor cabinet!" a shockingly immature invitation punctuated by Silverman's dousing of Hollywood Foreign Press Association president Jorge Camara with an entire bottle of Cristal.

• NBC Can't Spin New-Look Globes [E! Online]

What kind of Bizarro Hollywood are we living in, where the Critics' Choice Awards could very well become one of the crowning moments of the 2008 awards season? We've never been so desperately in need of the SAGgies in all our lives! But we're getting ahead of ourselves. First, a round-up of last night's delightfully well-attended Broadcast Film Critics Association honors:
· No Country For Old Men took the most trophies--whose design fittingly looks like some kind of torture device Anton Chigurh might use--including Picture, Director, and Supporting actor. Juno and Hairspray took two lesser awards each. Daniel Day-Lewis and Julie Christie took Actor and Actress, respetively. [AP]
· The last stars to arrive were also the biggest: George Clooney, then Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who managed to pry Angelina away from reporters before she could tell them about her desire to adopt America Ferrera, or any of this year's other Golden Globes orphans. [The Envelope]

· Katie Holmes showed up without Tom Cruise, wearing a chic, off-the-shoulder designer gown made out of a revolutionary, GPS-trackable homing fabric. [People]
· George Clooney on the strike: ""This is a one-industry town. And when a strike happens, it's not just writers or actors, it's restaurants and hotels and agencies. And our hope is that all of the players involved will lock themselves in a room and not come out until they finish. We want this to be done. That's the most important thing. It matters to all of us." Steve Zahn on the same topic: "Ideally, as an actor, it would be great if the writers would return and the critics would go on strike." [USA Today]
· If you missed the broadcast on VH-1, their website has plenty of video clips, including Don Cheadle being presented the first-ever prestigious George Segal award by his Oceans' pal George Clooney, who admits he hates him. "No, really. Nobody likes him." [VH-1]

As it turns out, the concerns of competing studios that Warner Bros. might have been a little too generous in its Sunday night box office estimate in an attempt to push I Am Legend into second place have been proven valid: following Monday's release of the final numbers, Juno is now officially the Second Highest Grossing Movie in America for the first weekend of January. (Given the current atmosphere of strike-induced belt-tightening, we doubt Fox Searchlight is celebrating the position-shift with a champagne toast, a confetti shower, and the festive dropping of balloons from their conference room ceiling.) Despite this disappointment, there is at least some comfort for Warners in the ultimate figures, as Legend still managed to avoid the indignity of sliding down behind Alvin and the Chipmunks after the correction of their box office exuberance. [Variety, BOM]

News that the Golden Globes ceremony had been permanently and irrevocably canceled, replaced instead by a sickly televised press conference wheeled out in an iron lung to wheeze through this year's winners, did little to raise Hollywood's spirits last night as they solemnly death-marched up the Critics' Choice Awards red carpet. Not surprisingly, The Envelope now reports that the fall of Hollywood's booziest, A-listiest party is taking down all of its satellite clusterfêtes with it, in what could well go down in Hollywood history books as The Great Tinseltown Party Famine of Oh-Eight:

At least two of the traditional post-Golden Globes parties -- put on by studios and broadcasters as a way to tout their good fortune and show off their haul of statuettes -- have been canceled. HBO and Warner Bros./In Style said they would forgo the festivities.

Warners released this statement: "In light of the decision to shift the Golden Globes Awards ceremony to a press conference format this year, Warner Bros. Pictures will not host a post-Awards celebration as it has in previous years with InStyle. We respect and support the Hollywood Foreign Press Association and NBC for making a decision that will recognize the hard work and accomplishments of the creative community."

Sources said that other high-profile parties were expected to follow suit.

While we suppose there's no guarantee that our entire way of life will crumble should we be robbed of even a single fudge-spewing fountain or Effen Vodka VIP Raw Bar, we'd nevertheless rather fate not be tempted as such. And what of the devastating setbacks this news will reap upon the Green Party movement, having made such strides during last year's awards season with the introduction of biodegradable satay skewers and renewable ice sculptures? If there's anyone we can count on to stand steadfast, it's the unflappable footsoldiers of the gifting suite industry, with one particular e-mail restoring faith to our weary hearts as it informed us that, "THE SHM RED CARPET GOLDEN GLOBE SUITE & DINNER TO PROCEED AS PLANNED AND PRESENTED SHM RED CARPET GOLDEN GLOBE SUITE & DINNER PRESENTED BY MAGGIE FERRARI JEWELRY, NATALIE K DIAMONDS, NICOLE BARR B.E.L.T.S. INC & JELLY BELLY GOURMET JELLY BEANS AT THE LUXE HOTEL IN BEVERLY HILLS WILL UNVEIL ONE OF A KIND ITEMS FROM DESIGNERS ON JAN 10TH AT 7:00 PM."

• Nothing to party about at Globes conference [LAT]

With somewhat less fanfare than accompanied The Return of Late Night on January 2nd, in which network talk shows made a mass return to the airwaves in various writer-having/writer-free and hirsute/clean-shaven configurations, Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert reported for duty Monday night--initially sporting a Strike Unibrow and Strike Moses-Beard, respectively, to show their solidarity with their still-missing scribes.

While Stewart lamented his program's inability to get the kind of side-deal the WGA made with Worldwide Pants (the Guild, it seems, isn't really embracing the idea of giving corporate monolith Viacom a break), he still dedicated most of the show to the strike; in the above segment--one probably not as improvised as the WGA would like, but given the pro-cause subject matter, the union probably won't be sending anyone over to Stewart's office to have a testy sit-down about strike rules--the host details the dispute over internet compensation, explaining how the $1.99 fees charged for iTunes downloads of his show are purely a shipping and handling charge, the proposed "Shut The Fuck Up" formula for new-media residuals, and how the viewing of written content on iPods clearly falls under the "Hickory Farms promotional cheese" principle.

• Writers Strike [TheDailyShow.com]
• Comedy Central Hosts Return to TV [NY Times]