Saturday, January 5, 2008
The Entire ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ Premiere In Three Easy Minutes!
11:46AM Defamer Hollywood | Did you miss last night’s premiere of Semi-celebrity Apprentice, Donald Trump and NBC’s attempt to breathe new life into a moribund reality franchise by asking Gene Simmons, Big Pussy, a professional naked person, and a lesser Baldwin (there are other cast members, probably, but we can’t think of them off the top of our head–oh, Omarosa’s on it too!) to sell hot dogs? We did. But after watching this three-minute recap, we feel like we’re all caught up and ready for next week’s episode. (Spoilers ahead if you click the thumbnail to watch the vdieo.) Clearly, changing the title of Welcome to Valkenvania to Nothing But Trouble doomed the Chase/Aykroyd/Candy/Moore classic to failure. “I always wanted to be No. 1 at something, but I didn’t think it would be something like this.” Depending on the type of person you are, what you see at this site is either going to make or ruin your weekend. More »
Breaking! Golden Globes Show Further Imperiled By Stubborn Refusal Of Actors To Hand Out, Pick Up Shiny Statuettes!
10:20AM Defamer Hollywood | According to an announcement made by Screen Actors Guild president Alan Rosenberg this afternoon, the members of his union refuse to undermine their striking WGA brethren by crossing the WGA picket line at the Golden Globes: “After considerable outreach to Golden Globe actor nominees and their representatives over the past several weeks, there appears to be unanimous agreement that these actors will not cross WGA picket lines to appear on the Golden Globe Awards as acceptors or presenters,” he said. “We applaud our members for this remarkable show of solidarity for striking Writers Guild of America writers.” While this development certainly doesn’t bode well for the possibility of a televised Globes ceremony taking place next Sunday, desperate awards show partners NBC and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association still harbor a fleeting hope that their last-ditch enticement to the SAG membership, the tripling of the event’s already-legendary alcohol supply and the outfitting of the venue with a series of “presenter suites” filled with a metric ton of cocaine, might be able to induce enough dissent within the actors’ now-unanimous ranks to convince the union to reconsider its hastily adopted stance. SAG says actors won’t do Globes [Variety] More »
Rent The Wonderland Murders House For Just Three Grand A Month!
9:45AM Defamer Hollywood | Because Defamer is committed to making its readers aware of exciting local real estate opportunities each time a red-hot tip lands in our inbox, we direct you to this listing announcing the availability of an historic two-bed/two-bath property nestled in a highly desirable cranny of Laurel Canyon: $3000 / 2br – 2 bed 2bath laurel canyon on wonderland CHARMING 2 BED 2 BATH HOME NEW STOVE, REFRIGERTOR, WASHER AND DRY, FRENCH DOORS ON BOTH BALCONYS WHICH LEAD TO LIVING ROOM WITH HDWOOD FLOORS, SPLIT LEVEL WITH HI BEAM CEILINGS.NEW RUGS. KITCHEN VERY QUIANT, CHARMING COVERED PATIO WITH EASY TO MAINTAIN AREA FOR PLANTS AND BBQ STUFF,, YOU MUST SEE IT !!CALL REBECCA 805 xxx-xxxx TO SEE IT…WILL SHOW ON WED.2ND OF JAN 08..NOON TO TWO…OWNER WILL TAKE APPLICATIONS.. MUST HAVE GOOD CREDIT AND REF LOCALLY. 8763 WONDERLAND AVE.IS ADDRESS Did we forget to mention that this “charming” split-level abode just might have been the setting of a teensy-weensy, bludgeoning quadruple homicide involving drug-addled porn star John Holmes? Ah, that’s of no concern to those who know an incredible deal when it’s presented to them. Considering the property’s place in local history–and we hardly need to tell you it’s already been immortalized in a well-regarded Val Kilmer vehicle–the $3,000 in rent can easily be recouped in kickbacks from Hollywood Mass Murder Tour guides desperate to give their ghoulish patrons a look at the crime scene, not to mention the supplemental funds that can be generated by an entrepreneurial lessee’s establishment of the official Wonderland Murders souvenir shop. $3000 / 2br – 2 bed 2bath laurel canyon on wonderland [Craiglist] More »
9:45AM Defamer Hollywood | Though things on the Britney Spears front had been quiet enough over the past handful of hours that the ambulance sirens that had been ringing in our heads since late last night had finally started to subside, there’s now an update: As one might expect in a case in which a troubled mother has been placed on Super Double 5150 Hold 72-Hour Mental Lockdown Watch, the court has awarded sole custody of Spears’ children to comparative paragon of stability Kevin Federline and suspended her visitation rights until, in the oddly unedited words of an exasperated child-services commissioner, “This Britney person can keep her shit together for, like, five consecutive hours. I fucking give up, really. I’m going to Cabo until March. If she still wants the kids back then, she can call me.” [Access Hollywood] More »
Daniel Johns And Natalie Imbruglia Call It A Day
8:08AM Jess McGuire | We’ve become used to hearing all the rumours about the state of Natalie Imbruglia ella ella eh eh eh and Daniel Johns’ marriage, but even we must admit some sense of shock in hearing that Australia’s highest profile musical romantic partnership has been torn asunder, the couple citing the tyranny of distance as the main culprit – not Paul Mac, you bumming-obsessed kids. Must you try and find the rainbow in everything?
Silverchair frontman Daniel Johns and his actress musician wife Natalie Imbruglia have ended their four-year marriage.
The pair, who married near Port Douglas on New Year’s Eve in 2003, cited distance and career demands for their decision to split.
“While we are very sad that our marriage has ended, we want to make it clear that our parting is amicable and we remain friends,” the pair said in a joint statement last night. “This mutual decision has not been taken lightly or quickly.
More » 
Miss South Carolina Adjusting Nicely To Life As America’s Most Instantly Recognizable Incoherent Pageant Queen
7:50AM Defamer Hollywood | For an early afternoon Britney palate cleanser, we thought we’d offer you this Tyra clip of South Carolinian Miss Teen U.S.A. 2007 candidate Caitlin Upton, who has secured herself a lasting place in the Annals of American Density for her now-legendary 91-word response to a question about the scourge of geographical ignorance currently plaguing our population. Always one to find an upbeat spin to even the most humiliating of personal defeats, Banks points out that Upton’s own staggering stupidity has granted her a far greater measure of celebrity than actual winner Miss Teen What’s-Her-Face could ever hope to achieve. And as Upton confirms, there is truly no better proof that one has entered the fabric of popular culture than becoming a Halloween costume–its aqua gown, blonde hair, and sash reading, “Miss South Carolina Like Such As” sure to become as popular and iconic an option as Windswept Businessman and Tippi Hedren in The Birds. The Tyra Banks Show Previously: Didn’t Anyone Tell Her The Correct Answer Is Always, ‘World Peace?’ [Defamer] More »
Admittedly, We’re Not Finance Wizards, But
7:40AM Defamer Hollywood | If Michael Jackson refinanced a $US300 million loan to loosen up $US25 million in cash to pay a $US20 million legal debt, doesn’t that still put him at negative $280 million? And that’s not even including mouth-reinflation fees! [foxnews.com] More »
Trade Roundup: Actress Plucked From Obscurity, Granted Bond Girl Immortality
7:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Unknown actress Gemma Arterton has been anointed as the newest Bond girl, with her agent confirming her “nice-sized role” in Bond 22, though it’s still unclear whether her part will fall into the “superspy sexual conquest” or “extremely attractive, but sexually unavailable, Mi7 functionary” categories of 007-supporting females [THR] Members of the British Academy of Film and Television Arts are (preliminarily, at least) head-over-heels in blighty* love for Atonement, listing the Joe Wright adaptation 17 times in their awards longlist (a mere 15 options per category!) for the BAFTAS, an announcement that mostly serves to let the public know which movies have been pre-snubbed for their eventual nominations. [*We only put that in for the benefit of our readers who are driven insane by Varspeak.] [Variety] More »
