Missy Higgins Shocks Punters By Banning Rugs (Of The Warming – Not Munching – Variety)

Missy ‘Misdemeanor’ Higgins has shocked fans at a recent show in Western Australia by enforcing a rather fascist embargo against blankets and rugs, leaving punters chilly and confused. Clearly they were unaware of the menacing threat posed to performers by heckling doonas, bottle-throwing blankets, militant rugs, and queer-hating quilts.

Hundreds of Missy Higgins fans were turned away from Belvoir Amphitheatre last night because of a bizarre ban on blankets.

Concert-goers
who had queued for up to an hour in the Swan Valley paddock were told
to return rugs to their cars – and join the end of the queue again -
because picnic blankets were a “security risk”.

One minute Missy is publicly embracing rugs and carpets, and the next she’s banning them from her shows?

Speaking of Missy’s recent admission that she’s just as happy rubbing two circles together as she is trying to squeeze triangles into aforementioned circles, we rather liked this nugget of information in an article published last week.

Missy Higgings has thrown a spanner into the works of her “not straight” admission, saying she is bisexual.

“I’ve been in relationships with men and women so I guess I fall most easily under the category ‘bisexual’,” she wrote on her MySpace page this week.

Higgins said she felt compelled to set the record, um, straight, after national lesbian magazine Cherrie labelled her “not straight”.

However, the real question is the identity of Higgins’ girlfriend, for whom the singer recently bought a Bondi pad. 

Are we to assume that Missy’s rich enough to be purchasing real estate in the non-exactly-cheap beachside suburb of Bondi for her ladyfriends? Or is a Bondi pad some new fandangled type of sanitary napkin? After all, they’ll only need each other and they’ll bleed together… Boom tish.