Kylie Plants A Kiss On Doctor Who In Thanks For Gift Of Cosmic Dildo

Being big fans of both Our Kylie and Doctor Who (that’s just how we roll), we’ve been eagerly anticipating this year’s Christmas special (Doctor Who: Voyage Of The Damned), starring Kyles, for some time.

In an effort to ruin the surprise get everyone even more excited, the Daily Mail has run a few stills from the special. All good and exciting, except for this one:

Just what, exactly, is Kylie’s character Astrid holding in her hand?

We’re guessing (and we may be wrong, and often are, but again, that’s just how we etc) that the good Doctor has given Astrid the gift of orgasm this year, since he has – as ninth doctor Paul McGann’s agent advised him – “two hearts, no dick”.

We now return you to your normal, non-nerd programming.