In A Final Dastardly Move To Become The Most Powerful Being In The Universe, Rupert Murdoch Eats Jesus And Absorbs His Messianic Powers

THE DARK LORD HAS WON. CHRISTIANITY IS DEAD, LONG LIVE MURDOCHISM!

Well, not really. Despite the above terrifying imagery appearing on the smh.com.au front page, as far as we know Rupert Murdoch hasn’t actually sucked back a tasty slice of The Jesus. But he has purchased a website called Beliefnet.

Tabloid Page 3 girls may have helped build its original print
empire, but Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp is putting its faith in God
online.

News Corp’s Fox Entertainment Group said it had bought Beliefnet, a
website on spirituality and faith, as part of its internet expansion.

Financial terms were not disclosed.

The acquisition builds on the company’s rapid internet expantion
since 2005 with the purchase of the MySpace social network for $US580
million.

He’s probably just biding his time before becoming The Supreme Being Of The Universe. Besides, Jesus is more a dessert dish – if you wanted a fulfilling main meal, you’d definitely knock down a roast Buddha over a plate of Christ.