Britney Spears Given Coveted People.com ‘Bestie’ For Barely Surviving 2007

People.com’s always-discriminating readers have spoken: Britney Spears, the serially troubled onetime pop-star whose head-shaving, custody-forfeiting, meth-addled-stripper-gone-to-seed-imitating misadventures have kept the shark-infested tabloid waters well-chummed for an entire calendar year, is the proud recipient of the website’s coveted 2007 Bestie Award for Most Talked About Star. In what we’ll assume was a landslide, Spears topped Angelina Jolie, who, much to her detriment in this particular race, did not lose possession of even one of the estimated fifteen orphans she collected during her Third World travels on behalf of the United Nations. (Next year, the UN’s PR consultants will recommend that she briefly “lose” Pax at a Sudanese refugee camp, creating an international crisis that should help bring more glossy-magazine attention to the crisis in Darfur.) While there are fifteen flavors of Bestie to sample as you look for ways to distract yourself from the crazy-making silence of your empty office, we’ll further note only the category that truly matters to discerning consumers of supermarket-checkout-aisle product: Best Dressed Celebrity Kid, where a tyke genetically engineered to look adorable in any tiny designer outfit easily carried the day.

• 2007 Besties [People.com]