Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Turkey Slappee Becomes First Time Mother!
5:05PM Jess McGuire | Congratulations to Big Brother 2006’s Camilla, who now works as a Breakfast radio host in Queensland, as she’s just become the mother of a wee little lad.
The former Big Bogan housemate and on-air partner of Labrat and Stav
gave birth to Charlie Max Krohn on Friday night at Royal Brisbane and
Women’s Hospital.
The little fella weighed in at 3700g and yesterday Camilla, partner
Glen Krohn and Charlie went home. Pictures of Camilla and her bub
appear on the station’s website but are ghost stamped with the
station’s logo.
Apparently Camilla’s agent has sold the rights to the story to a
glossy mag, so they’ll be able to paint his room blue and hang all the
mobiles they would ever want above his head.
Savvy marketing of your bub there, Camilla.
Even more exciting news further down in the piece!
She’s said to be coming back to B105 early next year and Ricki-Lee
Coulter has apparently been approached to fill her spot in the meantime.
OUR BEST FRIEND FOREVS (OTHER THAN FORMER NEWSREADER JENNIFER HANSEN – MORE ON THAT LATER) TAKING OVER THE RADIOWAVES?
Brilliant. Ricki-Lee has a dirty mouth, a wicked sense of humour, and sings like a bird when it comes to tawdry tales regarding her former Young Divas members. We wish we were in Brisbane to listen to her!
More » 
The Hanson Family Are Going To Take Over The World
2:45PM Jess McGuire | Defamer Australia’s Editor has had a soft spot for Hanson ever since Defamer Australia’s Associate Editor took her as a “plus one” to the lads’ concert back in mid 2005. Surrounded by screaming prepubescents, we couldn’t help – despite being old enough to know better – but get swept up in the moment, our squealy Hanson love obviously reaching fever pitch when we inexplicably found ourselves shouting in unison during a particularly quiet moment of the concert “ZAC! WE’RE PREGNANT! MENAGE!” much to the confusion of the surrounding weeping teenage girls.
Hmm. We have, of course, matured since those heady days of false paternity claims. As has Zac Hanson, the youngest of the three brothers. He has just announced he is expecting a baby with his wife! This means that ALL the Hanson members will be fathers by this time next year. For fucks sake, Taylor Hanson has THREE kids already! We can’t work out if this is making us feel old and barren, or quietly grateful.
Nevertheless, the folk from Tuscon seem happy enough with their ever expanding brood, and this video clip is a rather sweet insight into their world.
Awwwwwwww – VOMITS.
(Hold us, we’re lonely) More » Spice Girls Celebrate Tour Success By Appearing In The Daggiest Advertisement Ever
12:50PM Clem Bastow | Well done the Spice Girls, whose reunion tour is off to a rip-roaring start, as we always suspected it would be.
The girls are looking a treat in their Roberto Cavalli ensembles and the reviews have been grand so far (although we’re not sure what to make of the dream we had last night where Posh had to pull out of five shows with tonsilitis – LET’S HOPE IT’S NOT PROPHETIC).
However what’s really taken our fancy in these Spicy days is this hilariously stilted commercial the ladies have filmed for UK supermarket chain Tescos. To say that the race for this year’s Best Actress Oscar just became particularly crowded would be an understatement.
We love it!
Special points must go, however, to Victoria for taking the piss out of herself while assessing the difference in calorie counts between a normal and a “fun-sized” Christmas pudding. More » 
“Delta’s Mermaid Fantasy”
12:30PM Clem Bastow | We read the headline above this morning and hoped that our Christmases had come early (i.e. that Delta Goodrem gave an interview in Playboy detailing her hitherto well-kept secret sexual fetish: aquaphilia).
Sadly it’s not quite that lascivious and instead is just talking about Delta’s new video clip for Believe Again, which is apparently chockers with expensive special-effects shots – and, yes, a mermaid fantasy.
Sorry, that should read “postmodern mermaid fantasy”…!
Goodrem indulges a postmodern mermaid fantasy in the stunning, state-of-the-art clip for her new single, Believe Again, which will hit stores on Saturday.
The 23-year-old’s close friend, video director Michael Spiccia, has spent six weeks creating the visual feast with teams in Australia, Los Angeles and Spain.
It features more than 100 special effects shots – more than your average feature film – to recreate the four worlds representing Goodrem’s imagination.
Sadly this whole “postmodern mermaid fantasy” thing doesn’t mean Delta is recreating memorable scenes from Splash Too! with the help of a holographic recreation of Jean Beaudrillard playing the part of Tom Hanks, but rather – if this sneak preview is to be believed – just writhing around in the contents of Spotlight’s glitter and rhinestones aisle.
To say we’re disappointed would be a gross understatement.
The vid will be shown in full on Today Tonight this evening, for those of you who like a little postmodern mermaid fantasy with your stories about the fat migrant plumbers who are ripping off our disabled kids. More » 
Tara Reid Enjoys Playing Hooker For The Evening
11:07AM Clem Bastow | We would’ve reported this yesterday but it took us a day or so to eat our collective hats – we assumed “Tara Reid appearing at Discovery Nightclub in Darwin” was the new “Vin Diesel appearing at the Rooty Hill RSL“, but apparently we were wrong!
H-list “star” Tara was publicised as the VIP guest at the Darwin nightspot’s annual Hookers Ball to wide derision from the press, but it seems Ms Reid carried out her duties – and damned if she didn’t have a ball (arf arf) doing it!
The American Pie star said those criticising her had got it wrong.
“People who want to bag me out are narrow-minded,” she said.
“This is a costume party and everyone is out to have fun and be a little bit crazy. It would be like bagging Halloween.”
…Reid took centre stage at the Ball before a packed crowd after 10pm.
While in Darwin she plans on taking a helicopter tour, getting up-close and personal with a crocodile, and hosting a charity dinner.
“Getting up-close and personal with a crocodile”? That’s the sort of stuff that starts the press talking, Tara. Maybe it’s time for a new PR agent? More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: The Midnight Rambler
11:02AM Clem Bastow | Things are looking AWESOME for Amy Winehouse lately! Not only are her teeth falling out, her husband in jail and her family warring with each other, now she’s taken to roaming the chilly streets of London in her bra.
We’re not sure how much longer we can keep this up, to be honest.
If Amy Winehouse’s fans were hoping she might be trying to get her act together, these pictures will not provide much reassurance.
Barefoot, and clad only in her bra and jeans, the troubled singer emerged from a friend’s house in Bow at 5.45am on Sunday looking distressed and agitated – as her mother-in-law says she taking more drugs than ever.
Onlookers said she appeared disorientated as she wandered around on the pavement for several minutes in the freezing cold before disappearing back inside.
The 24-year-old singer, who cancelled her UK tour last week, has ignored pleas from her family to seek help for her addiction to drugs.
Umm… At least her bosom still looks good?
Yeah, we’re clutching at straws, too.
Whatever happened to Mick Jagger’s promise to save Amy via the power of his pants music? More » 
One Week Into “I Slimmed Down For My Health” Campaign, Lily Allen Capitulates To The Blokes Mags’ Steely Gaze
10:52AM Clem Bastow | Well, that was short-lived, wasn’t it?
Last week, Lily Allen explained away her new figure as the byproduct of her new health regime after doctors diagnosed her with an irregular heartbeat. She was very careful not to make it out that she thinks thin is better, or that she thought her body was “wrong” or “bad” before the overhaul, or that she did it for anyone else’s benefit.
Presumably Lily will be eating those words with fava beans and a nice Chianti now she’s plastered all over this month’s UK edition of GQ.
She explains how many of her high profile feuds – she has rowed with the members of Girls Aloud among others – were fueled by insecurities about her appearance.
She told the magazine: “A lot of that stuff I said was because I didn’t feel confident.
“I felt like, ‘Oh God, I’m short, fat, ugly…and I hate all these people who flaunt their beauty’.
“Ever since a kid I’ve felt like I’m possibly the uncoolest, naffest person ever to walk the earth.”
Right, so she thought she was fat and ugly, and now that she’s skinny and hot, the best thing to do would be to celebrate that within the pages of a glossy men’s magazine?
Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated? More » 
Heather Mills’ Split-Beaver ‘N’ Red Lace Shots Excite The Uk Press
10:41AM Clem Bastow | As if it weren’t already obvious that the soon-to-be-ex Lady McCartney, Heather Mills, couldn’t catch a break during her very public divorce battle with the beloved Beatle, she’s just been dealt another blow courtesy of her sexxxy past and the News Of The World.
Her “I was young and needed the money” days of modelling for “educational” sex manuals caught up with her while she and Paul were still together, and this is sure to send the prudish and pro-Macca UK press into a total lather – which the News, clearly looking to win some awards for forwarding the feminist cause, is already doing.
Now we’d love to hear how the former hooker explains this snap of her as an unashamed hardcore porn queen.
Last year, Heather strenuously denied ever being involved in porn after lurid shots emerged of her posing in a German sex book. Die Freuden Der Liebe (The Joys Of Love)—shot in 1988—featured her naked, performing a sex act on a nude male porn star.
Heather tried to play down the filthy book as a “sex educational manual”. But clearly there is NOTHING educational about today’s sickening photo.
Sickening? Harcore porn queen? Former hooker? Jaheeeezus – we realise Sir Paul is about as close to Jesus in the UK as you can get without actually being the son of God, but there’s something decidedly unsavoury about the press’ savagery when it comes to Mills.
And besides, we hardly think this ’80s-tastic hello boys shot is “hardcore porn”, but then maybe we’ve just been hardened and desensitised by this modern age, baby.
*inhales determinedly on cigarette* More » 
Australia’s Next Top Model’s Latest Photo Call Perhaps Less Glamorous Than Vogue
10:31AM Clem Bastow | We once read a great piece about an all-female gang in the UK called The Chubsters, who formed out of rage when one of them was used as a “headless fatty” on a current affairs show bit on obesity. A headless fatty is one of those montages of random overweight people walking around the city centre, either shot from the neck down or from behind.
Well, we wonder how Australia’s Next Top Model winner Alice Burdeu would feel about being News Ltd’s “headless skinny” in this image accompanying a story about youth body image?
The pic they’ve decapitated is a runway shot from her appearance in Fashion Assassin’s Rosemount Australian Fashion Week last year.
Given that a nutritionist said Alice’s BMI was reasonable considering her height, and that she doesn’t seem to have any body image issues, perhaps News Ltd should think twice next time and, like, employ an illustrator or a graph or something? More » Missy Higgins Shocks Punters By Banning Rugs (Of The Warming – Not Munching – Variety)
9:18AM Jess McGuire | Missy ‘Misdemeanor’ Higgins has shocked fans at a recent show in Western Australia by enforcing a rather fascist embargo against blankets and rugs, leaving punters chilly and confused. Clearly they were unaware of the menacing threat posed to performers by heckling doonas, bottle-throwing blankets, militant rugs, and queer-hating quilts.
Hundreds of Missy Higgins fans were turned away from Belvoir Amphitheatre last night because of a bizarre ban on blankets.
Concert-goers
who had queued for up to an hour in the Swan Valley paddock were told
to return rugs to their cars – and join the end of the queue again -
because picnic blankets were a “security risk”.
One minute Missy is publicly embracing rugs and carpets, and the next she’s banning them from her shows?
Speaking of Missy’s recent admission that she’s just as happy rubbing two circles together as she is trying to squeeze triangles into aforementioned circles, we rather liked this nugget of information in an article published last week.
Missy Higgings has thrown a spanner into the works of her “not straight” admission, saying she is bisexual.
“I’ve been in relationships with men and women so I guess I fall most easily under the category ‘bisexual’,” she wrote on her MySpace page this week.
Higgins said she felt compelled to set the record, um, straight, after national lesbian magazine Cherrie labelled her “not straight”.
However, the real question is the identity of Higgins’ girlfriend, for whom the singer recently bought a Bondi pad.
Are we to assume that Missy’s rich enough to be purchasing real estate in the non-exactly-cheap beachside suburb of Bondi for her ladyfriends? Or is a Bondi pad some new fandangled type of sanitary napkin? After all, they’ll only need each other and they’ll bleed together… Boom tish. More » 
