Was Beauty Queen Martyr Miss Puerto Rico Lying?

Perhaps we’re a bit naive when it comes to the things we’re told by beauty pageant winners, so blinded by their laser-whitened smiles and duct-tape fastened cleavage that we fail to properly scrutinise unlikely claims regarding commitment to world peace and “feeding the starving Africanese children.” So you’ll forgive us when we noted without suspicion a news item in which reigning Miss Puerto Rico Universe Ingrid Marie Rivera claimed that an unknown saboteur covered her stage wardrobe in pepper spray. What seemed at first a feat of superhuman, pageant-queen-mind- over-chemical-irritant-matter has now raised questions from incredulous authorities:

Police are now said to be investigating just how Ingrid Marie Rivera was able to stop crying between camera appearances at Saturday’s pageant, if indeed her gown and makeup had been sabotaged with the spray, as she asserts, NBC News reports.

The reported scepticism about Rivera prompted Today show host Meredith Vieira to inquire on Tuesday’s broadcast if, possibly, crime-scene investigators believe the pepper-spray claim may have been imaginary.

“They’re saying, they think she made it up?” Vieira asked reporter Kerry Sanders, who replied: “They’re looking into it. They’re curious.”

Vieira has an interview scheduled with Rivera tomorrow, during which we imagine the Today host will drop the nice-lady act for a brutal interrogation beneath hot studio lights, refusing to acknowledge commercial cues until the mascara-streaked crown-holder finally crumbles, admitting through short-breathed sobs that it was she who soaked her own body in pepper spray, after hastily reaching into her purse for some spray-on tanner and pulling out the wrong tube.

• Mystery Deepens in Miss Puerto Rico Pepper-Spray Incident [People]