Isla Fisher Has Had A Healthy Baby And Is Kicking Goals In Hollywood, But What Really Matters Is The Size Of Her Arse

What is the most important thing that a woman in the public eye can do with herself after having children these days? Raising them right? Being a good mother? Taking time off work to bond with her new family? If you answered “yes” to any of those options, you are WRONG.

The most important thing, der fred, is to regain your pre-pregnancy shape, dummy! *giggle*

Yes, the “baby weight” brigade has their eye firmly fixed on Home & Away export, Isla Fisher, who recently gave birth to a daughter with fiance Sacha Baron Cohen.

Wearing fitted jeans and a transparent kaftan top, the 5ft 3in tall star looked svelte once again now she has shed the enormous baby bump she was carrying until October 17.

The Wedding Crashers star is thought to have lost the extra pounds naturally through breastfeeding.

“The enormous baby bump”! Which was, incredibly, CARRYING A BABY INSIDE IT. Whoda thunk she wasn’t just eating all the pies?

Honestly, this obsession with “baby bumps” and pregnancy/post-pregnancy weight has got to be the most odious of all the unpleasant aspects of the celebrity circus. Can women catch just a small, nine-to-twelve month break from the photo editor’s magnifying glass? Is that too much to ask?