Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: News So Surprising M. Night Shyamalan Must Be Behind It
10:32AM Clem Bastow | Well, hands up if you didn’t see this one coming: Amy Winehouse has cancelled the remaining dates on her UK tour!
Yes way, Ted, the troubled diva reckons she can’t go on without husband Blake Fielder-Civil by her side, which really puts all her engagements up shit creek since he’s likely to be staying in the clink at least past Christmas and possibly the New Year.
Winehouse, whose husband Blake Fielder-Civil is in custody charged with attempting to pervert justice, has cancelled all promotional appearances for the rest of the year.
The statement said: “Amy Winehouse has cancelled all remaining live and promotional appearances for the remainder of the year on the instruction of her doctor.
“The rigours involved in touring and the intense emotional strain that Amy has been under in recent weeks have taken their toll.
“In the interests of her health and well-being, Amy has been ordered to take complete rest and deal with her health issues.”
Winehouse said: “I can’t give it my all on stage without my Blake.
“I’m so sorry but I don’t want to do the shows half-heartedly; I love singing.
“My husband is everything to me and without him it’s just not the same.”
Oh, honestly.
We used to get all dreamy when Amy and Blake would go on about how they were each others’ lifeblood, but now we’re just inclined to think it’s time to lock them both in a pit and let them eat each other or something.
It’d probably be less agonising than all this, anyway.
More » 
Lily Allen Gives Real Reason For Dramatic Slim-Down
10:26AM Clem Bastow | You will have noticed that Lily Allen has been progressively shrinking these last few months, which wouldn’t raise an eyebrow normally in the world of celebrity were it not for her loudly announced opinions about celeb weight obsessions and her refusal to submit to whatever body shape and size is considered “in”.
Just as well, then, that she’s come out and said the reason for her slimmer form is not her various endorsement deals, nor public scrutiny, but rather health reasons.
We’ll believe it when her doctor backs her up publicly…
Lily, 22, revealed: “I found out I had a heart murmur about three months ago. I had switched doctors and just went for a routine check-up, which is when they discovered it.
“I have been asthmatic all my life, but this was really scary. When they asked me how much exercise I did, I had to be honest and say hardly any.”
The singer, who is dating Chemical Brother Ed Simons, went on: “I make sure I work out three times a week now, and I don’t hold back. It’s a hardcore routine and I’m usually in the gym for at least an hour-and-a-half.
“I used to love nothing more than sitting in front of the telly with two packets of Ginger Nuts and two bags of milk bottle sweets – and I’d devour the lot. But this heart thing has made me cut back on all that kind of crap.
“I now find that, because I am looking after myself, I don’t feel like eating the bad stuff so much.”
Sounds a bit like Avril Lavigne’s hilarious assertion about a year ago that the reason she used to be so emo was because of all the carbs and sugar she was downing on tour, but we’re inclined to give Lily some slack – at least she’s stressing the healthy stuff and not emphasising her size.
Now all she needs to do is boot the lagers and the jazz fags and she’ll be on a winner! More » Things Channel Nine Doesn’t Like: Showing Whole Series Chronologically, Local Content, Maternity Leave
10:18AM Clem Bastow | It’s been a red letter year for women in Australian news broadcasting, as its become patently obvious that network bosses don’t like their female presenters to be either a) older than about 28 or b) pregnant, and option b) has caused the latest ruckus at Channel Nine.
Newsreader Christine Spiteri took maternity leave this year after the birth of her son and was due to return early next year, but has been informed that her contract will not be renewed – and she is now looking to sue the network. Not only that, but it’s alleged that network bosses even resorted to playing an apparent race card in knocking her back.
After being informed yesterday her contract would not be renewed, Spiteri was allegedly told by Nine news chief John Westacott “with a surname like Spiteri you should try SBS”.
…She is expected to launch legal proceedings with the help of lawyer John Laxon, who acted for former Nine news chief Mark Llewellyn.
“I have been retained to act for Christine Spiteri in relation to some employment law and maternity issues,” Mr Laxon said yesterday.
So, all in all, it’s sounding like a whole bunch of great PR on the part of Channel Nine – sacking a new mother and telling her to eff off to the “ethnic” station!
Still the one? Not likely!
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Heath Ledger Scares Subway Passengers, And Not In Some Method Acting Prep For Joker, Either
10:11AM Clem Bastow | We can’t decide if Heath Ledger’s particularly shambolic nature post-break-up with Michelle Williams is due to his having been living hard and fast, or whether he is a textbook example of having “let himself go”.
His hobo chic might have been giving out clues suggesting the latter is the case, but now a bunch of subway travellers have noted that Ledger seems to be taking his ‘derelicte’ look a little too far.
“I got quite a whiff,” one onlooker, who came within sniffing distance of the Oscar-nominated star, tells OK!. “He smelled pretty unwashed.”
The 10 Things I Hate About You star, who split from girlfriend and babymama Michelle Williams this summer, added a few more reasons to dislike him with his now-trademark homeless-chic look: red-framed sunglasses, an oversize lilac knitted hat and a fleece-lined jacket. “It’s clearly never seen the inside of a laundromat,” the witness tells.
Poor Heath. It seems his fine work in Brokeback Mountain is but a distant memory as he’s destined to be known as a former teen star who broke up with his more-famous partner.
All the “Jack Twist, I swear…”s in the world won’t save him now! More » 
Craigslist User Wants His ‘Beowulf’ In 4D
8:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Surely the author of this posting can’t have been the only one to emerge from an Imax theatre screening Beowulf thinking of nothing other than the overtly sexualised title character, whose “third leg,” as the Danish serving wenches blushingly referred to it, was practically within 3D grasp were it not for a strategically placed mead stein in the foreground. To their credit, however, the anonymous poster took to Craigslist’s virtual medieval marketplace to make their warrior-blowing fantasies come alive: Looking for Beowulf – 21 I’m looking to blow Beowulf. More »
Was Beauty Queen Martyr Miss Puerto Rico Lying?
8:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Perhaps we’re a bit naive when it comes to the things we’re told by beauty pageant winners, so blinded by their laser-whitened smiles and duct-tape fastened cleavage that we fail to properly scrutinise unlikely claims regarding commitment to world peace and “feeding the starving Africanese children.” So you’ll forgive us when we noted without suspicion a news item in which reigning Miss Puerto Rico Universe Ingrid Marie Rivera claimed that an unknown saboteur covered her stage wardrobe in pepper spray. What seemed at first a feat of superhuman, pageant-queen-mind- over-chemical-irritant-matter has now raised questions from incredulous authorities: More »Marie Osmond’s Baby Doll Dance Of Despair
7:45AM Defamer Hollywood | Before you pass an unfavorable judgment on Marie Osmond’s bizarre performance on Monday night’s Dancing with the Stars finale, please remember that she’s going through an extremely difficult stretch in her life right now, catty accusations of being an attention-craving drama queen nothwithstanding. After surviving a terrifying fainting spell on live TV, a son being sent off to rehab, and the loss of the Osmond family patriarch, we really can’t blame her for succumbing to to the enormous pressure of making the finals by engaging in an act of self-sabotage in donning that ill-considered baby doll costume and flailing limply through “Start Me Up.” More »
7:30AM Defamer Hollywood | If you think you can manage it after having your minds literally blown to smithereens reading about Brandon Routh’s super-secret wedding extravaganza, we now have for you the inside track on Katherine Heigl’s birthday dinner at Nobu Saturday night. Be warned: It involves T.R. Knight sporting a new hairstyle! We know! [HuffPo] More »
K-Fed Graces Cover Of Completely Meaningless ‘Details’ Power Issue
7:15AM Defamer Hollywood | If you’re wondering how Kevin Federline made it to the cover of The Details Power 50 issue (”Meet the most influential men under 45,”) you probably need to first know that the magazine played fast and loose with their own definition – specifically the “men” part: “Zac Efron, Shia LaBoeuf, and the Disney Kids” come in at #1, the “other F-word” makes a completely baffling appearance at #9, and Iggy – not the punk rocker, but the mangy canine who precipitated Ellen DeGeneres’s on-camera meltdown – came it at, we shit you not, #29. So breathe easy – K-Fed’s influence still hovers somewhere between that of a Sonic Burger fry-cook’s and Erik Estrada’s. More »
