Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Matt Corby’s Idol Sulking Inspires Photo Editor Madness
11:51AM Clem Bastow | News and photo editors at proper papers would realise they probably have about two days of genuine news mileage* to get out of this year’s Australian Idol, and they’re working mighty hard!
Turns out Matt Corby has been having a sook about his treatment at the hands of the press, not to mention the mercurial Mark Holden, and bloggers are talking about Natalie Gauci’s likelihood of falling prey to the apparent Idol curse that dogs female winners (in Australia, mind; I don’t think Carrie Underwood is particularly stressing), so what do those comedians at News Ltd come up with?
Sheer genius:
They’ve simultaneously managed to comment on everything including their own desperation at Idol’s newsworthiness slipping through their fingers.
Expect a similar illustration come Friday or so that says something like “OH GOD, JUST LET US TALK ABOUT IDOL FOR ONE MORE DAY!!” with a picture of Matt Corby wiping away a tear.
* NB we’ll hear no lip from you lot about this; we’re allowed to cover Idol until the cows come home! More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Tour In Doubt, Again
11:37AM Clem Bastow | Amy, Amy, Amy… Looks like Winegums’ current tour has taken another turn for the worse, with yet more fans asking for refunds after the nu-soul diva served up another gig full of swearing, slurring and moodiness. At this rate the only people attending her shows from now on will be the sort of people who like watching traffic cop shows after midnight (and wouldn’t object to Amy calling them “monkey cunts”, like she did recently). The show, at Hammersmith Apollo, was the third in London last week. The first got rave reviews but Amy’s performances got steadily worse. Saturday night’s fiasco was the final straw for many fans, who bombarded her website forum with complaints. One said: “This was a tragedy of a gig. She should never have been allowed to perform.” Another said: “A shambles. I paid to see Amy, not some spaced-out girl wandering around.” Another added: “I have never seen so many people leave a gig early. Get help, Amy.” Before the show, her management tried for hours to coax her out of her hotel room, where she has been partying without sleep. One aide was overheard saying: “I can’t take this any more. She’s a nightmare!” We can also reveal allegations of a bitter divide between Amy and her support act. A member of Bryn Christopher’s band claims: “Amy always throws parties backstage but we’re not allowed to go. It’s hurtful.” Last night, Amy’s spokesman declined to comment. You know, we’re finding it harder and harder to come up with anything meaningful to say after all these Winegums spaz outs. She’s starting to remind us of that “game” (now outlawed in this drought-afflicted world) where you turn the hose up to full blast and let it fly around like a rabid snake on ketamine. Amy Winegums is that hose. We think there’s something in that for all of us, don’t you? More »
Photos Demonstrate That Kylie Might Be Better Served In Future By Putting Health Ahead Of “The Fans”
11:18AM Clem Bastow | It’s safe to say most of us were impressed beyond belief when Kylie Minogue actually made good on her promise to pick up where she left off her Showgirl world tour after being diagnosed with breast cancer.
But her documentary, White Diamond has broadcast alarming footage that suggests that it probably wasn’t the greatest idea to head out on an all-singing, mostly-dancing tour so soon after her recovery.
“I wouldn’t say it was an anticlimax, but I was totally spent. I lay down on the floor and literally felt my whole body sinking down.
“I couldn’t even make conversation with anyone. I was useless, just gone,” she says in the documentary.
Kylie herself admits the energetic stage show took its toll. At one point, shaky and covered in bruises, she says: “The trouble is I can’t really talk. It’s just physical and mental exhaustion.”
Bugger the fans, we say – they should’ve been content to receive a “personalised” letter from the promoters and Our Kylie, a bit like one of those Reader’s Digest competition letters that says something like, “JOHN, here at Reader’s Digest we know you appreciate the finer things in life, so we’ve created a contest just for you, JOHN! JOHN, it’s so easy…” More » The Young Divas Wish Ricki-Lee A Long And Prosperous Walk Off A Short Pier
11:06AM Clem Bastow | Those charming young ladies in what our UK Correspondent Will has termed “the bin of the Australian music industry”, Young Divas, have been curiously quiet on the topic of Ricki-Lee Coulter’s defection in order to focus on her solo efforts (she was replaced by Jessica “Do What You Do, Say What You Say” Mauboy).
Quiet, that is, until Kate DeAraugo opened her Farnham-esque trap recently and let rip.
We’d call it a touchdown but we’d be happy to never hear or see Mark Holden roll out that tired cliche ever again.
Sniping about Coulter’s decision to leave, on the eve of her wedding, catty Kate said “Ricki-Lee had other things on her mind and she became half-hearted.
“The rest of us put our hearts and souls in the Divas and for whatever reason, she wasn’t prepared to do that, so it’s better that she’s moved on to what’s next in her life and career. That said, we’re still in touch.”
Yes, because if there’s one thing that the vocal-acrobatics-on-autopilot of Turn Me Lose and Gloria suggest, it’s a whole shitload of heart and soul.
Somewhere out there in the music industry, Ricki-Lee is laughing into her Happy Meal. More » Mandy Moore Joins Tyra Banks For An Old-Fashioned Cuss-Off
8:45AM Defamer Hollywood | We don’t know how Tyra Banks managed to unmask seemingly wholesome, secretly Fez-fucking actress Mandy Moore as the crass-mouthed vulgarian she really is. That said, enjoy this The Tyra Banks Show clip of the Licence to Wed star spewing a stream of profanities that would peel the paint off a truckstop bathroom – a fountain of filth that surely kept their beep-adding and mouth-digitizing post-production team working overtime. The Tyra Banks Show More »
Miss Puerto Rico’s Ability To Smile Through The Pepper Spray Sign Of A True Beauty Queen Champion
8:30AM Defamer Hollywood | The world of professional pageanteering is not for the faint-hearted, where fierce competition for a coveted crown has led many an unsuspecting beauty queen to fall victim to cyanide-laced Vaseline poisonings and slipped-mickey stupid pills that cause them to blabber incoherently about the sorry state of U.S. American education. Thankfully, Ingrid Marie Rivera managed to survive her sabotage attempts and go on to take the Miss Puerto Rico Universe 2008 title, but not before succumbing to a severe allergic reaction after her gowns were doused backstage in pepper spray: More »
8:15AM Defamer Hollywood | At the NY Comedy Festival, Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence reveals why Least Favourite Guest Star (but “nice person”) Tara Reid’s arc on the sitcom didn’t stretch a few episodes longer. (Hint: the smell of cigarettes and booze are involved.) [Rush & Molloy] More »
Fox’s Evil Reality TV Mastermind Salivates At Very Thought Of Controversial Lie-Detector Show
8:00AM Defamer Hollywood | In a mere two months, Fox President of Alternative Entertainment and Apocalypse-Beckoning Nonscripted Programming Mike Darnell will proudly debut his latest reality-TV abomination, The Moment of Truth, in which contestants are hooked up to a polygraph, asked a number of revealing personal questions, and then watch as their lives quickly disintegrate when millions of viewers listen to them sheepishly admit that they’re no longer sexually attracted to their aging spouses. In an interview with TV Week, a giddy, tumescent Darnell shares that his naughty places haven’t tingled like this since he tricked a mansion full of gold-digging women into believing that a dimwitted, part-time banana-hammock model was a filthy rich heir looking for a soulmate to help him enjoy his family fortune: “Last time I felt like this was before ‘Joe Millionaire,’” said Mike Darnell, sitting in his office wearing his trademark cowboy boots. More »
7:45AM Defamer Hollywood | Like every other famous actress confronted with the question of what other famous actress she’d like to get it on with, Hayden Panettiere tells GQ she chooses Angelina Jolie. We’re just relieved to again see a smile on the world- and dolphin-saving cheerleader’s face as she bites down seductively on a necklace in this behind-the-scenes video of her Lolita-inspired fashion shoot. [thesun.co.uk] More »
