In the sort of "hang on, WTF?" result we've come to know and love Australian Idol for, Natalie Gauci took out the crown last night at the Opera House.

Despite the pundits backing Matt Corby with the short odds, the battler from Melbourne ended up the victor (there'll be a nice warm spot in the Young Divas waiting for her within six months).

To say the whole night had been something of a shambles would've been the understatement of the decade, so here are some of our thoughts on the evening:

* The amazing "technical difficulties" filling the return of Divinyls to live TV, beginning with the camera going spaz two-thirds of the way through Boys In Town, a green screen, then an ad break, then a minute of meaningless crowd footage while an off-camera tech said "How long have we got?" and was answered "About three minutes", then another ad break, then Andrew G saying something about "live television", then the band doing the song again with the same over-choreographed moves, then the "I'm Lovin' It" signs flashing at the end of it all over the Golden Arches-decorated runway. Then, the divine Ms Amphlett saying, "And who are you?" to an approaching/drooling Andrew G, then fucking off the whole "you've got a new single out but how about you play your old hit - twice - and we'll tell you how to do it" debacle by saying, when asked what the contestants should do, "We've developed - couldn't you tell?"

* James Mathison announcing, with disbelief, that Nat and Matt would arrive, accompanied by "rollerbladers holding soccer flares" - and that's precisely what the event management delivered.

* Mathison's barrage of single entendres and jabs at the Christian voting bloc.

* Epilepsy-inducing jump-cut montages of the Seymour Centre (etc).

* Funereal music playing over the top of any "remember when" montages of past winners and notables, despite said montages actually featuring sound and singing.

* Natalie's plethora of dud wardrobe choices (good one, Sheridan and the Maybelline Style Team) including an ill-fitting, doily-skirted cocktail dress, jeans and a top last seen at the Seven Angels warehouse sale, and finally the clanger, her finale/winner's dress, which was pinned at the back with the radio mic transmitter plonked on top, half a size too small, and with leather opera-length gloves that were half undone around the wrists.

* Matt Corby's variety of leggings-tight pants, and nightie-esque shirts.

* Lionel Richie saving the night by blowing the entire Final 12 offstage following their lacklustre walkthrough of All Night Long (and then reserving all his enthusiasm for Carl Risely).

* Lionel Richie's response, following two-and-a-half hours of Maccas branding, to the hosts' inquiring as to how he was finding the Idol experience: "I'm lovin' it."

* The entire Opera House crowd seeming to have voted for Matt Corby and remaining bums-glued-to-seats throughout Natalie's winner's performance of Here I Am.

* The "artwork" for Here I Am.

...And so forth.

If anything, the finale show - dogged by technical difficulties and ho-hum production numbers - was really symbolic of the whole season, and you couldn't shake the feeling that it might have been a death knell for the franchise, which last night rated just less than half of what it did in its first incarnations.

Just how many more times can they attempt to freshen the thing up? Guess we'll have to wait until next year to find out.

Remember "Juan Mann", the dude with the 'FREE HUGS' sign who appeared in the Sick Puppies' YouTube clip and then became a Global Phenomenon™?

Well, we'll forgive you if you don't, but this particular cock-eyed optimist's fortunes have taken a turn for the worse as his latest stunt - a sort of reversed variation on that "one red paperclip" scheme, to throw open his house as a free house of love and support - has seen him set to be evicted.

Will the Sick Puppies make an affecting YouTube clip about the day the repo men (preferably one wearing a t-shirt that says "Don't Fuck With Mr Zero", like in When Harry Met Sally) come and turf him out, his mandala wall-hangings and Dave Matthews Band DVDs with him?

The star of the Free Hugs Campaign video, which has been played more than 20 million times on YouTube, posted an invitation to his home on the internet last month.

"We still have this constant fear that strangers are dangerous and that putting your address online means people are going to come to your house and trash the place," Mann said when NEWS.com.au visited his home.

Last night Mann sent an online appeal for help after allegedly receiving a message from his landlord which described the open-house project as a "security risk".

Mann's email read:

"I am in trouble and I need your help. I am facing the threat of eviction.

"My landlord found out (about the project) and sent me some mail as well. Inviting guests into my home is considered a security risk to the building and causing or permitting a nuisance to the neighbours."

Mann used the email to launch his "Free Home Campaign" and asked readers to help him find somewhere to live.

Ha! So Mr Free Hugs does want something in return - a free bloody house! The nerve of the bloke!

Anyway, we've come away with this with one pressing question: who'll give the free hugs man a free hug?

There's a James Taylor song in there somewhere.

Before we begin we should note that our headline is something of a misnomer; we were captivated by news previews last night along the lines of "Just what did David Beckham do to make this cancer patient cry?" and hoped that he'd totally lost it and stuck a tack in her commemorative soccer ball or something.

Then today dawns and it turns out Becks' "snubbing" of said young soccer fan wasn't a statement at all, and just a simple matter of, er, not seeing her.

Which is good, because we wouldn't have to burn our copy of Posh & Becks: Talking now, would we?

Fourteen-year-old Emma Byers - the first person to survive two consecutive bone marrow transplants at Sydney Children's Hospital - was due to welcome Beckham to Star City yesterday morning but was left in tears when the star's minders insisted he was brought into the hotel via a back entrance and whisked to his room.

But last night at Sydney FC's game with Queensland last night, Beckham took time to meet Emma in private and left the young girl beaming with delight.

After he was told what happened, a contrite Beckham had used a press conference to apologise to the girl and other fans who had been with her, and had promised to make amends.

"I didn't even see any children when I arrived at the hotel this morning - I went in the back way," he said.

"But that (snubbing them) is one thing I would never have done - never have done and never will do. That's not what I do or what I'm about and I apologise to them."

Aw, Becks!

Even with that ridiculously squeaky voice, we'd still tap that ass hardcore he's still a gentleman.

Any other sick/disadvantaged children are, however, now advised to hang around back alleys with the pimps and junkies in the hope that David "Backdoor Man" Beckham will miraculously appear.

While the UK press have been detailing Winegums' apparent teetering on the bring of actually going back to rehab (yes, yes, yes!) with news that husband Blake will probably stay in jail over Christmas, we instead thought it was time to lighten the Winegums mood a little.

Of course, this being Winegums Watch, lightening the mood involves a story featuring a large amount of booze and the eventual death of a small animal.

Hey, what did you expect? Bambi part two?

AMY Winehouse has been accused of killing her friend's hamster.

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A late start from your Defamer Australia team today. Blame a weekend of strong teas and Iced VoVos.

In any case, here's a nice beginning to the week - a brilliant Harry Enfield clip which had us in hysterics over the weekend. Lap it up, kids!