Friday, November 16, 2007
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Winegums Fast Becoming The New Cat Power, Evan Dando
11:11AM Clem Bastow | Okay, this is probably not what we were hoping for when we thought that Amy Winehouse’s new UK tour could provide a new-ish beginning for the soul singer while Flake Fielder-Civil was locked up.
Evidently the first night of her tour was nothing less than a complete, unmitigated disaster.
Oh, it’s almost too much for us – almost enough for… AN EMOTICON! : ((((
The 24-year-old singer, who was wearing a see-through black top and a mini-skirt, arrived on stage nearly an hour late only to stumble through an incoherent 90-minute set at the Birmingham NIA.
It took her just eight minutes to name-check her drug addict husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, who is in jail on remand accused of trying to pervert the course of justice.
Dedicating the song Back to Black to the 25-year-old music video assistant, she repeatedly added the word “Blakey” to lyrics – much to the confusion of her fans.
As the final bars played out, she tearfully slurred: “Nothing’s going to bring my husband back.”
And just as the audience were thinking things couldn’t get any worse, Miss Winehouse began frantically sobbing before launching into rock band The Zutons’ hit, Valerie.
As fans began to boo and heckle, around 100 poured out of the arena in disgust.
Oh dear.
Does Winegums not realise the irony in calling him “Blakey”, considering that’s the name of the Jesus-looking criminal hiding in the barn in Whistle Down The Wind?
At this stage it’s probably safe to say “no”. More » 
Sally Goes From Summer Bay To Sydney Radio
11:03AM Clem Bastow | After announcing that this season of Home & Away would be her last after approximately 78 years on the popular soap, it’s safe to say most media observers wondered what the bloody hell Kate Ritchie would be doing with her “retirement” time.
Well, it turns out her not-very-well-kept secret is that she’s heading to radio – and not just the midnight shift or presenting the Saturday Night CD Jukebox, but morning.
The Home & Away hottie was groomed for the new gig earlier this year, switching from The Akmal Show to team with Merrick Watts and Tim Ross for an all-star assault on the number one FM spot.
Ritchie, who will be pitched as Nova’s answer to 2Day’s Jackie O, will up the oestrogen levels set to drop when newsreader Sami Lukis leaves for Brisbane next week.
Lukis is understood to have given her replacement her blessing, telling one Confidential source “she works really well with the boys and will be a great part of the team”.
Said through gritted teeth, no doubt, Sami…
Anyway, this is quite a coup for Ritchie, given that most breakfast radio presenters are paid largely in unused $100 notes and gold bullion.
But the question we’re sure everyone is asking now is: how soon before Alf Stewart joins the airwaves? The answer is of course, “Not soon enough.” More » 
Is Bindi Being Manipulated? Do We Like Eating Cheezburgers?
10:38AM Clem Bastow | Those wacky UK tabloids aren’t all about electricity-spewing nervous systems, celebrity boob jobs and “The Time I Caught My Dog Having Sex With A Lesbian Makeup Artist” stories – sometimes they’re really on the money.
Today is such a day: in a moment of rare editorial clarity, The Mail wonders aloud “Are they turning Little Miss Croc Hunter into a money-making machine?“
We’d like to say, YES, YES THEY ARE! In any case, the piece draws attention to the less-savoury side to Steve Irwin, whcih most people managed to forget once he Died Doing What He Loved™.
My first encounter with Bindi Irwin is still clearly etched in my mind. Just a few weeks after she was born, her father Steve swept her up in his arms and marched along the zoo path, beckoning me to follow. ‘This is where it begins,’ he said.
Minutes later he was holding a huge python so close to Bindi’s face that its flashing tongue brushed her cheeks. ‘I want her to learn young, mate,’ said the proud new father, known to the world as the Crocodile Hunter.
Yes, he wants her to learn that animals are there to be manhandled and shoved in the face of newly-born babies, which, we might remind you, are sometimes considered a tasty treat by certain snakes.
What a GREAT GUY! More » 
Free-Spirited Isabel Lucas Cries For The Whales
10:32AM Clem Bastow | Isabel Lucas, formerly Home & Away’s resident hippie, Tasha, has told of her tears at witnessing the slaughter of whales while in Japan on a conservationist mission.
Since leaving “The Bay”, Lucas has devoted much of her time to environmental campaigning, and was in Japan to capture video footage of the cull.
(Incidentally, Lucas seems to shed tears at the drop of a hat; we once spotted her crying about her pasta bake at Thresherman’s Bakery in Carlton, and there were no whales in sight.)
This is all endlessly admirable but we couldn’t help stifling a laugh when we reached this part of the story:
Today , Lucas will lead another protest at Bondi Beach and attempt to create the world’s largest human humpback whale using bodies on the sand.
The current record was set by 2500 school children in Los Angeles in May this year.
Look, we pay our Greenpeace donations and listen to ‘The Songs Of The Dolphins’ as much as the next free-spirited cheesecloth-wearer, but really.
Don’t these people realise it’s stuff like pretending to be a giant humpback whale made of children that leaves them open to ridicule by the Matt Stones and Trey Parkers of the world?
Don’t nuke our imagination, braaaa! More » 
Mcnaughty Keen To Distance Herself From Pin-up Past …By Playing Hottie On Neighbours
10:20AM Clem Bastow | Poor old Erin “McNaughty” McNaught; giving Miss Universe a red hot crack in the shadow of Jennifer Hawkins and not even making it through to the finals, suffering the indignity of topless photos from her “I was young and needed the money” period, being called “McNaughty”.
It seems the former beauty-queen and bikini model is so desperate to distance herself from her “hot” past that she’s turned to television, naturally.
Gold Coast beauty queen Erin McNaught says her role as a co-host of Channel 10’s Cybershack and her recent signing as a cast member of Neighbours should finally distance her from being perceived as a glossy men’s mag model.
Erin is contracted to Neighbours for three months with an option to become a permanent figure on the long-running show.
What McNaughty doesn’t realise, though, is that choosing to “distance” yourself from the men’s mags doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll stop courting you or printing your pictures.
We hope that her Neighbours role will be that of an acnefied library nerd with frizzy hair and a dark secret (i.e. Harold’s lovechild with Bouncer, or something), but we’re sure that, like most of this year’s season, we’re set to be disappointed.
More » 
Dolphin-Loving ‘Heroes’ Star Now A Fugutive From Japanese Justice
8:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Following a recent mission of dolphin-saving mercy off the coast of Japan to prevent the slaughter of her favourite ocean-bound mammals (a commemorative tattoo of a pair of playful bottlenoses circling her navel is being custom-designed as we speak), indestructible Heroes cheerleader Hayden Panettiere now finds herself a fugitive from international justice for her interference in Pacific Rim commerce. Reports E! News “I learned that they have an arrest warrant out for me in Japan,” the Heroes star told E! News exclusively Wednesday. “We just found out.” More »
A Moving Display Of Uxorial Devotion
8:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Sarah Michelle Gellar has officially changed her name to Sarah Michelle Prinze as her five-year anniversary gift to husband Freddie Prinze, Jr., a selflessly career-sabotaging act that should allow her to spend even more time at home with her sporadically employed spouse. [USMagazine.com] More »
Lindsay Lohan Pays Her 84 Minute Debt To Society
7:55AM Defamer Hollywood | Trailing the troubled starlet jail-time land speed record set by Nicole Richie in August of this year by two minutes, Lindsay Lohan checked in and out of the the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood this morning in a still-respectable 84 minutes, after being denied parole at the 37-minute mark. By the time the broken starlet was retrieved mid push-up from her solitary confinement cell, its walls covered in bundles of striked-out scratches counting down the long minutes to her release, any remnants of the Lindsay we once knew were all but drained from her once vibrant, if glassy, eyes. We’ve included the notorious cokepant-wearing Denalijacker’s mugshot, in which she looks suspiciously full-lipped and tan for someone on the inside; then again, it’s amazing what you can accomplish by bribing a guard to punch your in the mouth and bathing in smuggled orange Kool-Aid. Lindsay Lohan Checks In and Out of Jail! [TMZ] More »
‘Sexiest Man Living’ List Recognises New Zealand’s Hottest Comedy Troubadours
7:45AM Defamer Hollywood | If this year’s “Sexiest Man Alive” issue of People left you wanting – sure, few of us would argue with their choice of sexiestest man Matt Damon, but the Shemar Moore-calibre also-rans were frequently lacking – we direct you instead to Salon.com’s Sexiest Man Living 2007. Bringing together 26 of the hunkiest guys for the thinking woman and Gay, their list recognises the pasty, the paunchy, the bespectacled (Ira Glass, Judd Apatow, 2007 Alec Baldwin, etc.) celebrities that send their editors into a sexy-man lather. More »
