We quite enjoyed reading this little tidbit (titbit?) we received about The Veronicas.

A Veronica and her mother were spotted shopping in the bra section of Myer. The Veronica was heard shouting over the rows of girly things "Mu-um, what size am I again?" to which her mother replied "You’re a 10-C, honey."

Hopefully this is an indication that the universe is attempting to make amends for the sudden career goals being inexplicably kicked by Kyle and Jackie O.

Number one breakfast duo Kyle and Jackie O were caught with egg on their faces yesterday after they passed off a two month old interview with superstar Justin Timberlake as being live on their 2DAY FM program.

Despite being the top rating FM team in Sydney, it was rival station Nova which were given media partner allocation to Timberlake's heavily hyped Australian tour.

This immediately prevented the celebrity heavy 2DAY from gaining access to any interviews with the prince of pop during his visit.

Alright folks, if you're still distraught and horrified by the fact Gretel Killeen has been kicked off Big Brother in favour of Kyle "Faustian Pact" Sandilands and Jackie O, there's a Facebook group you can join titled "We Will Never Again Watch Your Shit Show, or, How Dare They Remove Gretel" started by Defamer Australia's very own UK Correspondent and dedicated Gretel admirer Will.

It is here, and describes itself thusly.

Gretel Killeen is no longer the host of BB-AU. And to rub salt in the wound, she has been replaced with the literally insupportable Kyle and Jackie O IS THIS A FUCKEN JOKE

Gretel was in fact the only reason most people (apart from retarded children) watched Big Brother. Now that she is gone, this will become evident.

It feels like the end of the world.

Okay, earlier in the week we introduced you to the brilliance that is jessykbarbara and her saucy dance routine to the song 'Overload' from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. We've now spent a ridiculous amount of time trawling through the entire collection of videos she's popped up on her YouTube page, and the following clip struck us across the face and screamed loudly "WATCH ME REPEATEDLY, I AM AMAZING AND STRANGE AND MOSTLY AMAZING".

It must be said that the first fifteen seconds of the clip ensure it goes down in history as the best opening of a YouTube video ever. Ever. She is a demented genius and we worship her.





We also note the video's description on her YouTube page.

The sixth video for the new dance piece "Dance Fever" by Jessyka Watson-Galbraith. Based on the movie "Dirty Dancing." Clair's apartment - Tuesday night in Berlin. Clair got a new bed.

Have you heard of Via Tania, kids? 

Via Tania is the "Alternative / Acoustic / Electronica" (MySpazz description, you know) outfit of Tania Bowers, a former member of Sydney noise-popsters SPDFGH. She moved to the States a while back and began producing strange, beautiful, adventurous tunes with the help of various talented folk you can look up in your own time you adorably earnest music buffs, and her latest offering 'Moon Sweet Moon' was produced by bona fide motherfucking musical genius Craig Ross (who has worked with the likes of Emmylou Harris, Daniel Johnston, Patty Griffin, Angie Hart and Spoon).

The aforementioned new record 'Moon Sweet Moon' has been album of the week on 2SER, FBi, and 4ZZZ, and the good news is that Via Tania is in "town" (ie: the country) and "bringing it" to (ie: performing at) assorted venues. She's been supporting the gorgeous Clare Bowditch & The Breast-Feeding Set around town, but she's also squeezed in a couple of solo shows which you must - MUST - make a concerted effort to attend if you have a soul.

Defamer Australia would like to help you do this by offering free tickets to Via Tania's Sydney show on Saturday night and the Melbourne show on Sunday night. All you need to do is email tips at defamer.com.au and tell us what your favourite news story of the week was and which show you'd like to attend, and we'll get in touch with the winner and sort out your name plus one on the door.

Let's just assume for a moment you don't win but - being a sexy and intelligent individual with impeccable taste in music - you still want to attend the shows. Here are all the details you require. You may thank us later in the form of Jager shots, please.

SYDNEY SHOW
Saturday 3rd November 2007
Doors open at 8:00 PM
34 Oxford Street
Darlinghurst, New South Wales 2010
Cost : $12 + BF
With very special guests ZOO WHEEL (Chicago, USA)
Tickets on-sale from Moshtix 1300 GET TIX (438 849) & www.moshtix.com.au

MELBOURNE SHOW
Sunday 4th November 2007
Doors open at 8:00 PM
301 High St Northcote, Victoria
Cost : $12 + BF
With special guests ZOO WHEEL (Chicago, USA)
Tickets on sale at the NSC box office (301 High St, Northcote) Ph: 94861677 and online via www.northcotesocialclub.com

It's been a strange couple of days in the Drunk-Alice-in-a- Child-Neglecting-Wonderland universe of Britney Spears, whose long-awaited comeback album, "Blackout," released Tuesday to shockingly not horrible notices. (Her parenting skills, on the other hand, scored a solidly red Metacritics 16, the general consensus being that a Praline Ice Blended does "not constitute a suitable replacement for baby formula.") In order to get you up to speed, a Britney round-up:

· First day sales of "Blackout" numbered 124,000, putting her on track to sell around 350,000 units in the first week. That's enough to put her at the top of the Billboard charts - a feat rendered even more amazing when you consider her producers derived the entirety of the album's vocals by digitally fiddling with one usable note. [People]

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We're going to have to give the cast of Jimmy Kimmel Live this year's Best Talk Show Costume trophy, with Jimmy, the band, and the security team decked out as every significant cereal mascot of the past 100 years (video here).

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· A mere nine years after the first X-Files film surfaced in theaters, Fox announces that the second of Mulder and Scully's big-screen adventures (a reteaming, if you will) will arrive on July 25, 2008, a project that will begin shooting in December in Vancouver, far away from the picket lines of Los Angeles. [Variety]
· NBC puts off indefinitely the production of Heroes spin-off Heroes: Origins, with possible reasons for the sudden shelving including the possible writers' strike, the mess the original series has become in its second season, and a strategic redeployment of hit-recycling development brainpower to that rumoured The Office offshoot.

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Yesterday, we noted that a controversial recording had surfaced, featuring Dog the Bounty Hunter railing against his son for dating an African-American woman in a despicable, racist rant that fell just short of tearfully demanding, "Why, just once, can't you bring home a nice, Jewish bounty hunter girl I can take to dinner at my producer's house?" In case you haven't yet heard it, TMZ TV helpfully transcribes the contents of the offensive phone call; simply follow the bouncing, sunglass-wearing KKK hood and swear along to your favourite bigoted reality TV star!

• Dog the Bounty Hunter
• TMZ TV

Employing a diversion tactic not completely dissimilar from the one a scandal-plagued Halle Berry recently used in the brain-smoothing presentation of her pregnancy-enhanced cleavage, Lions for Lambs star Tom Cruise renders viewers of the above interview incapable of processing his largely meaningless promotional words through a simple hairstyle choice. At best, his mesmerised audience will finish the clip with a vague desire to lick its collective fingers and smooth back the distracting strands of hair from his forehead, wondering why his stylist didn't undo his Valkyrie Nazi-cut before allowing him to go on camera in support of a different project.

• Tom Cruise gets political with 'Lions For Lambs' [LiveVideo.com]
• Previously: So How's The Studio Mogul Thing Working Out For Tom Cruise? [Defamer]

We're only about 90 minutes from the beginning of tonight's big WGA General Assembly at the L.A. Convention Center (note to entrepreneurs: you'd better hurry up and get down there with your "I Walked Off The Job Today and All I Got Was This Lousy Red T-shirt" novelty garments), where, according to a story just posted to the LAT's website, the very thing that we'd hoped to distract ourselves from by briefly taking up the cause of the Zombie Guild is expected to occur: a strike recommendation by the writers' negotiating committee.

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Our panic-stricken city, already reeling from the possibility of a potentially disastrous writers strike that could arrive at virtually any moment, seems to be in even greater peril than we'd previously imagined: At a gathering in Silver Lake last night, a representative of the Zombies Guild threatened a parallel walkout that would surely finish off any sector of the local economy that managed to survive the entertainment industry's labour strife, accusing humans of not taking seriously their reasonable demands on issues crucial to the survival of undead workers trying to make an honest, brain-devouring living in a rapidly changing world. A flyer describing the ZGA's frustrations with a human negotiating team that refuses to bargain in good faith follows after the jump:

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Yesterday afternoon, talent and literary agency giant International Creative Management announced to its entire staff that now that an industry-crippling strike could hit at any moment, it seems like as good a time as any to hang on to a week of everyone's pay, giving the agency the "financial flexibility" it needs to keep the lights on. Sure, this unexpected move might cause "short-term financial challenges" to those employees who might find it difficult to afford luxuries like "food" and "shelter," but they're confident that the angry mob of assistants on the verge of rioting will extinguish their torches and lay down their pitchforks once they realise that missing 50 percent of their paychecks isn't due to a "salary reduction," just some little payroll system changes they'd been planning for a long time. The e-mail announcing the paycheck reduction follows; sadly, the agency's partners made no official offer to allow any adversely affected staffers to crash on their couches if their next rent checks bounce:

Sent: Wednesday, October 31, 2007 To: #All ICM Subject: Payroll Notification

Dear Colleagues,

On Friday, November 16th, all employees will receive a paycheck that reflects one week's pay, as opposed to the usual two. This is not a salary reduction. It is simply a change in the timing of when we pay our employees.

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· On second thought, maybe a strike won't be that bad. Who wouldn't like to see the cast of Cavemen singing "Wooly Booly"?
· And speaking of cavemen, here are instructions on how to make your own insurance-hawking Neanderthal costume, just in time for the day after Halloween.
· Get ready for a world-rocking nerdgasm: The original cast of MST3K is reuniting for Cinematic Titanic, a new project that will involve the creative savaging of bad movies.
·RIP, NBC's DotComedy.
· Owen Wilson can't even pee with the stall door open anymore without his publicist having to make a statement.

At midnight last night, the WGA's contract with the studios expired. The good news: Hollywood has not yet been blanketed in the radioactive fallout from the settling of a city-spanning mushroom cloud. The bad news: Yesterday's negotiations did not end well. The duelling, end-of-day statements of the WGA and AMPTP kick off this morning's round-up of strike-related news:

· Making their previous statement seem like the first rays of sunshine cutting through the nuclear winter of a prolonged work stoppage, the WGA decried the AMPTP's refusal to deal with its proposals. then ominously reminded everyone of tonight's general meeting where a strike finally could be called: "Today, just hours before the expiration of our contract, the AMPTP brought negotiations to a halt. The Companies refused to continue to bargain unless we agree that the hated DVD formula be extended to Internet downloads. This morning we presented the AMPTP with a comprehensive package of proposals that included movement on DVDs, new media, and jurisdictional issues. We also took nine proposals off the table. The Companies returned six hours later and said they would not respond to our package until we capitulated to their Internet demand.

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In the eerie quiet before the impending writer (and potential zombie) strike storm, few of us have truly allowed the implications of such a story-breaking and brain-eating stoppage to fully sink in. The Gays, however, have long been anticipating this day. Like stalwart, Cold War-era survivalists, they've lined the walls of their flawlessly appointed fallout shelters with enough canned Dean & DeLuca delicacies to sustain them through the long, Ugly Betty-free winter ahead. AfterElton.com sugarcoats nothing in detailing what they can expect:

First to be affected would be talk shows. As early as next week there would be no more David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, or Jay Leno. [...]

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The pencil, it seems, has become the dominant image of the looming™ writers strike (mushroom clouds are so two weeks ago): previously, THR incorporated it in an evocative tug-of-war logo for its contract talks coverage; today, over a hundred WGA showrunners have placed their names (not pictured due to space constraints) below a trusty No. 2 in an ad appearing in both Variety and the Reporter, promising the Guild membership they'll plunge its dangerously sharp point into the jugular vein of any network executive who asks them to secretly break stories, write scripts, or perform any other strike-verboten duty while their brothers and sisters are out on the picket line, trying to dodge the rubber-bullet fire of overzealous studio security guards.

[Image via Digital Variety]

Faced with the possibility of months of lost commissions, Endeavor superagent/HuffPo superblogger Ari "Can't We All Just Get Along?" Emanuel makes a last-ditch plea for sanity during these tense, pre-strike moments: "I'm about to get myself in a lot of trouble. So be it... Listening to both sides in the looming writers' strike, it's clear to me that politics is about to trump sound economics. Neither the Writers Guild nor the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers is looking at the issue properly. If you look at the amount of money that was at issue during the last writers' strike in 1988, I bet it was less than the amount the strike ended up costing all concerned. And I believe that will be the case this time around, too. [...] Going on strike to lose more than you gain is not smart negotiating." [HuffPo]

It seems The Dolce Group restaurant impresario and Big Brother All-Stars $US1 million-winner Mike Malin, whom last we checked in with for his weekly penile-wart singeing, wound up in a Denver jail cell after allegedly demonstrating a little too much enthusiasm over the Boston Red Sox's recent World Series victory. Eater LA has the scoop:

We're tipped off that Mike Malin spent 15 hours in a jail cell following Game 4 of the World Series "for allegedly assaulting a waitress at a local sports bar."

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