Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Crying Winegums Pics Make Us Feel Really, Really Bad
10:32AM Clem Bastow | Now, even though we’ve been carrying on this Winegums Watch for the past few months and enjoying every minute of it, we don’t want to give the impression that we’re some kind of heartless schadenfreude machine that shivers with guilty pleasure whenever we read of Winegums’ missteps.
Far from it – behind it all is an intense love of Ms Winehouse’s music (even the old stuff!) and a desire for her to get it together. So, we were genuinely saddened to see these pics of Winegums wandering aimlessly – alone – around Munich, in tears.
We don’t make a point of using emoticons on here, but feel at this time we just have to say : (((((
The pictures, taken last week, show the Rehab singer looking scared and on the verge of tears, which sources blame on the constant arguments between Amy and husband Blake Fielder-Civil.
According to pals, the 24-year-old star is struggling to cope with the increasingly stormy rows with husband Blake. And they warn his controlling behaviour, and unreasonable demands are threatening the couple’s six-month marriage.
A source told Closer magazine: “They are constantly arguing backstage, and whenever he gets bored he demands they leave, no matter what she’s doing.
“At one of her gigs, Blake even insisted they go back to the hotel half an hour before she was due on stage.”
We knew it! It’s all that Blake Uncivil’s fault, he’s making Our Winegums cry!
Mitch Winehouse looks like a stand-up bloke, why hasn’t he decked Blake yet? Surely a bit of biffo at the pub is as good as an intervention, isn’t it?
Poor Winegums; travelling solo – even if it is, as is the case here, only momentarily – is a very lonely feeling, and we know what it’s like to have an attack of the Emma Thompson-at-the-end-of-Sense-And-Sensibiltiy in the foyer of a distant hotel or Starbucks. Just go buy yourself a Happy Meal, Winegums, that will solve everything! And, since we’ve already broken the emoticon code today, we’ll finish with a nice : ) More » 
The Battle Of The Spokesmodels Doesn’t Really Continue
9:58AM Clem Bastow | First Megan Gale opened a can of whupass on A Current Affair after they suggested she was in some sort of supermodel fight to the death with Jennifer Hawkins (Gale reps David Jones, Hawkins their competitor, Myer), now J-Hawk is having her say.
And, not surprisingly from a “story” whipped up by ACA, she’s putting paid to the rumours, too.
Who woulda thunk it, really?
Hawkins hasn’t seen Gale’s ACA interview, but she has read what Gale said about it afterwards and isn’t concerned.
“I think Megan is a great girl,” she says.
“I have met her a few times now. I wouldn’t say that we are buddy-buddy friends but I like her and respect her career.
“The rivalry is more between David Jones and Myer than us.”
So, in other words, this whole thing has been a completely tiresome tale of NOTHING at all.
As much as we think Jennifer Hawkins is very pretty and probably very nice, really, this “feud” has been appropriately bland, when you consider her personality or lack thereof. We’d like to see her hire a heavy to break Gale’s knees or something, but really, she’s probably busy saying things like “I have a puppy! The sunshine is nice!” and smiling while she helps grandmothers cross the street. More » 
Kerry Katona Not Just Self-Medicating, Also Medicated; No Drug Available To Treat Her Fame Hunger, Sadly
9:49AM Clem Bastow | When she’s not doing lines or having a few hundred cheeky lagers, two-times Celebrity Mum of The Year Kerry Katona has revealed that she is on strong medication to treat her bipolar disorder.
Katona put the information out there after she appeared on the UK’s GMTV in a particularly odd state, and she blames her behaviour on her anti-depressant, Effexor.
The former Atomic Kitten singer said: “I’m on a real low because I’m promoting my book Tough Love, and I’m sick to death of all these questions coming up about me being on drugs.”
“Yes I am on drugs. It’s my bipolar medication, it’s nothing else, I’m pregnant for God’s sake.”
Right, so she’s not “on drugs”, but what about the boozing, Kerry? How about the “vodka slugs” and cocktails?
Send us your answer via your popular OK! column! More » 
Gudinski’s Party Fails To Get Will.I.Am Retarded
9:25AM Clem Bastow | Our appreciation of Black Eyed Peas main man Will.I.Am has increased dramatically after we read today of his reaction to a VIP party thrown for the band (as well as pal and sometime collaborateur, Justin Timberlake) by Michael Gudinski: in short, he reckoned it sucked.
And for once, that is the actual opinion of the man in question, not some subeditor tomfoolery or word-massaging by the gossip columns! Gudinski’s Frontier Touring had brought BEP to Sydders for a one-off gig to promote Pepsi, and chucked a Harbourside bash with guests including – and this must’ve really impressed the million-selling R&B crew – Marcia Hines and Jimmy Barnes.
However, despite the world-class Harbour views, gourmet menu and A-list guest list, Black Eyed Peas frontman Will.I.Am couldn’t get it started, let alone “retarded” – yesterday, branding Gudinski’s no-expenses-spared bash a complete dud.
“Man that party sucked,” he told a media gathering yesterday.
“Justin’s a really good friend of ours and we thought that party was going to be wack but it totally sucked – I’m just being honest.”
…Fergie attempted to smooth over her bandmate’s harsh criticism of the event, saying “but the beef was really good and the mushroom risotto was amazing”.
HA HA! The vibe sucked and the party was non-existent, but the risotto was good! Well, that makes all the difference, and will now go into our vernacular as a shrugging “oh well” to be uttered after disastrous events.
For example: “The crash of the Hindenburg was awful, but the mushroom risotto was amazing.” More » 
There’s Nothing Better Than When An Ex Idol Contestant Goes Batshit Crazy, Is There?
8:00AM Jess McGuire | Ha! We’re kinda loving the fact that Tarisai Vushe appears intent on tearing anyone she’s ever met a new one post-Idol booting. First her explosion at Mark Holden which was broadcast on Monday night’s show (we’ve got to admit, she’s right about him talking complete fucking shit most of the time, and every time he says “That’s what I wanted to see!” during the fight, we want to smack him about the chops), then she’s whining about the viewers who called her fake.
And now? She’s taken aim at Natalie “Just call me Holly Hunter because I’m all about The Piano, motherfucker” Gauci (she’s rude and horrible - Gauci, that is), and let fly on the topic of her sister-girlfriend Marcia Hines.
There’s no faking it – Tarasai Vushe is one angry woman, turning her vitriol on Australian Idol judge Marcia Hines yesterday after being booted from the show.
Still simmering from the backstage brawl with Mark Holden – which she claims cost her spot on the show – Vushe explosively told Confidential it was Hines who was “fake” and the latest judge to betray her.
After being challenged by Holden and Dicko for not showing real emotion in her public performances, the 20-year-old said Hines’ silence during the live spat on Sunday only added to her tears.
“But she came to talk to me after the show, before the fight with Mark,” Vushe explained.
“She comforted me and said, ‘I don’t think you are faking it, but I kept quiet because I didn’t want to enter the argument.
“I believed her when she said that, then I heard she went on radio yesterday (Monday) and said to Dicko, ‘I agree with you that she’s fake.’
“So who’s being fake now?”
The Zimbabwean-born singer said she had relied on Hines for motherly support during the series, but now felt “betrayed”.
“She lied to me. She told me to go and talk to Dicko and Holden.
“It was probably just a set up.”
EVEN THE JESUS WON’T BE ABLE TO SAVE YOUR REPUTATION NOW, TARISAI!
She’s all yours, Hillsong. Put those pipes to good use.
More » 
Well, This Seems Unnecessarily Catty
7:45AM Jess McGuire |
Oh wait, hang on – there’s a reason for it.
Aussie actress Melissa George shocked her audience as she stepped out on a catwalk today, looking old beyond her years with a face full of wrinkles.
Fortunately for the celebrity ambassador of Napoleon Perdis cosmetics, the 31-year-old’s aged appearance came courtesy of some clever prosthetic make-up and a head of grey hair.
George took on the appearance of a 65-year-old woman for the launch of BT Financial’s BT Super for Life in Sydney, to help people imagine themselves in 30 years’ time.
Sorry to have ever doubted your good and kind soul, brisbanetimes.com.au. Next time we will have faith in you, swears.
More » 
Our Cate May Be With Child!
7:30AM Jess McGuire | IMPENDING BIRTH ALERT!
Cate Blanchett is reportedly pregnant.
The I’m Not There actress sparked rumours she is expecting her third child with husband Andrew Upton after she was pictured sporting an apparent baby bump while leaving New York’s Guggenheim Museum on Saturday.
Cate had been performing in the play Right You Are (If You Think You Are) at the famous art centre.
The 38-year-old star kept the bump hidden under a spectacular sequined dress at the premiere of Elizabeth: The Golden Age at the London Film Festival last Tuesday.
However, rumours were further fuelled by Cate’s decision not to drink alcohol at the post-screening celebrations.
A source said: “Tongues started wagging when she wouldn’t drink after the premiere for Elizabeth: The Golden Age last week. It was such a big night it was strange she didn’t join in the celebrations.”
It’s taken a a while for the ‘Cate Blanchett Is Knocked Up!’ whispers to really pick up pace – ContactMusic reported she looked ‘curvy’ at a premiere over a week ago, which is like a decade ago in gossip time. Still, by not downing shots and passing out in a champagne fuelled haze at the premiere of Elizabeth: The Golden Age, Cate has pretty much shouted from the proverbial rooftops that she’s knocked up. Further proof? Perez Hilton posted a picture of Cate’s “big bump” on Monday night, and Keith Urban’s hand has been seen hovering protectively around Cate’s belly*.
No news yet on whether the tabloids will also report that the Oscar winner was also covered in semen and appeared to have almost farcically large chunks of cocaine falling from her nostrils.
*Judging by how many Australian women’s mags in the last two years have concluded Nicole Kidman is pregnant due to Keith Urban’s hand hovering protectively around her belly, we’ve decided this is our favourite method of detecting a pregnancy ever. Not all that reliable though, it would seem.
More » This Is The Third Sign Of The Apocalypse, Isn’t It?
7:15AM Jess McGuire | First we discover Gretel’s been kicked off Big Brother in favour of a new format which features Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O. Then news emerges that Kyle’s fiance Tamara Jaber - the woman responsible for “Ooh Ahh”, a catchy little number that momentarily made waves in the Top 178 a while back - has landed a multi-album record deal in the States.
And now we wake to read that the latest survey results show radio listeners in Sydney are making the switch to Sandilands’ breakfast program? As in, they are voluntarily choosing to listen to Kyle Sandilands talk?
Admittedly, choosing between listening to Kyle Sandilands or Alan Jones is like being asked “Would you prefer your human faeces scrambled or poached?” – it’s still shit no matter how it’s served up – but still.
Talkback radio king Alan Jones has recorded his biggest slide in radio ratings in more than three years.
As the 2GB breakfast host’s federal election coverage has crescendoed, listeners have turned off, with Jones losing 2.7 points to now command a 13.4 per cent share of the Sydney breakfast audience in the latest official radio survey.
While still the king of Sydney radio – taking out his 126th consecutive win in the breakfast timeslot – for the first time in years he has some real competition with 2Day FM’s Kyle and Jackie O just 1.8 points behind, with an 11.6 share.
This is like an episode of Surprise Surprise Gotcha! arranged by The Gods at the expense of the nation :(
More » Seinfeld To Letterman: ‘What’s The Deal With That Crazy Woman My Wife Stole All Her Cookbook Ideas From?’
7:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Appearing on Late Show last night to promote a small, low-profile animated movie soon to make its way into select art houses across the country, Hubbardian dabbler Jerry Seinfeld used the opportunity to try out a tight, three-minute set of new material based entirely around the everyman premise, “So a billionaire comedian’s wife writes an Oprah-approved cookbook about hiding brussel sprouts in your kids’ mac and cheese, and some celebrity-stalking lunatic accuses her of plagiarism, just because the book she already wrote on that topic contains 15 identical recipes!” More »
