Poor old Take That; first Robbie refused to join in the reunion fun, now they're having to suffer the indignity of becoming a "man band", as they're certainly not the lithe blokes who were doing ab rolls all over the beach in the Pray video clip.

Poor old Howard Donald injured himself while attempting some showy moves in concert, and the rest of the "boys" - yes, all three of them - are keeping the fires burning and doing it for Howard, if you will.

Howard Donald ended up with a collapsed lung after doing the splits on stage last week.

But the show must go on.

Gary Barlow, Jason Orange and Mark Owen soldiered on without Howard on stage in Zurich on Saturday night.

Without Howard’s breakdancing the other lads will themselves have a lung-bursting shift to keep the European tour going.

It's almost the end of the ratings season and that means one thing and one thing only for Australian soapies (apart from cliffhangers): pantomime time!

Yes, Christmas is almost upon us and so the stars of Home & Away and Neighbours are jetting over to the UK to make some quick cash by spouting single entendres and going deaf while children shout "HE'S BEHIIIIND YOOOUUU!" And what a fine smorgasbord of entertainment they'll be serving up for the poms:

Lara Sacher will also head to Mother England to star in Beauty and The Beast with Home and Away stars Trent Baines, Amy Mizzi, Beau Brady and Paul O'Brien swapping their boardies and bikinis for tights in various productions.

(PS, the photo has nothing to do with this story other than that we thought you'd enjoy seeing Toadie seemingly in the throes of passion - in fact, he is having a "health scare" - TUNE IN THIS WEEK!)

The latest Australian Idol casualty is pocket rocket Tarisai Vushe, who admittedly showed less "rocket" and far less "(in the) pocket" with each week of the reality talent quest.

What started as a powerhouse voice with a beguiling personality ended up a karaoke-night warbler with the personality of a donut - her trademark quiet "thank you" apparently the killer for all involved, including the normally ever-lovin' Marcia - a predicament that led to Mark and Dicko calling her "fake", only to feel a bit of emotional power from Vushe, even if it was off-stage.

Unfortunately for her, the emotional outburst didn't happen during her cover of The Veronicas' When It All Falls Apart, and so she leaves in fifth place.

Incidentally, we remain perplexed as to exactly who is voting for Marty Simpson; could this year's finale be another repeat of the Damien Leith/Kate De Araugo variety?

Yes, Winegums Watch has returned, feeling as refreshed as Winegums looked after her romantic holiday with hubby Blake, and we're ready to bring you all the Winegums you can eat handle.

To wit, it looks as though Amy's touring future in the USA could be in question after Winegums' recent alleged drug bust while on tour in Europe (which sounds like it's going really well, by the way).

Dad Mitch reckons the Norwegian filth tricked Amy into signing a confession disguised as a release form.

"They only released them after they signed a form, which they were told was a release form. It was in Norwegian. It was actually a confession, so this is being dealt with now by the Norwegian authorities and the British Consulate because the ramifications of that are that she now can't get into the States and she was meant to go next week."

Being denied a visa could stall Winehouse's assault on the US where she has already climbed the top ten singles chart and earned rave reviews.

Fellow Brit singer Lily Allen has also recently fallen foul of US immigration. Her visa was cancelled in August after LA immigration officials questioned her over an assault on a photographer in March.

Now, it could be that the holiday has brought our conscience into stark relief, or just that having the Max channel on constantly in your hotel room reminds you what good music really is, but at the moment we're really loving Winegums' Tears Dry On Their Own - so, to address the balance a little, hop over the jump to watch the new video and see why we began our fascination with Winegums in the first place.

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Kerry "Chipshop" Katona has recovered from her recent near-miscarriage nightmare and is celebrating as any expectant mother should: by slugging down the cocktails - and, like her pregnancy, they were not virgin.

Chipshop was at the eye of a storm of kerfuffle during her last pregnancy when it was reported that she was taking coke, and it looks like this time is little different. Here's the word from News Of The World, with their comedy all-caps included for effect.

Kerry, twice Celebrity Mum of the Year, downed FOUR MARTINIS and a slug of VODKA in a pub with pals - despite being 12 weeks into an already troubled fourth pregnancy.

Then she popped to a restaurant over the road for a Chinese meal - and puffed greedily on a ciggie outside in the cold. One surprised drinker said: "Everyone knows Kerry's pregnant so it was a bit of a shock to see her drinking and smoking.

"But she just said, ‘What the hell, a couple can't hurt'.

"She went to the bar and ordered pints for the others and Martini for herself. It was the same round when the others were buying - and she also had a shot of vodka. She knocked it back in one, winced and then wiped her hand across her mouth and put the glass down."

Given that this is NOTW, it is possible that we will also read that Kerry is due to give birth to a rare Patagonian tortoise in tomorrow's edition, but her track record suggests that in this instance, this paragon of journalistic excellence may not be massaging as much of the data as they usually do.

Cheers!

Hot on the heels of the blissfully romantic news last week that absence had indeed made the heart grow fonder when it came to the relationship between cricketer Michael Clarke and Lara "Waaaaait, Marriage Mean La-La No Touch? Me Confoozed!" Bingle, we've now been informed that the batsman credits Lara with making him want to be a better man, or some As Good As It Gets-esque rubbish along those lines.

Young gun Michael Clarke revealed yesterday he wants to be Australia's next Test captain - and he credited model girlfriend Lara Bingle with giving his life fresh purpose.

Clarke, speaking for the first time about his 12-month relationship with Bingle, said he is a better batsman because he has never been happier off the field.

Clarke believes his romance with the Cronulla model, who shot to national fame after she starred in Tourism Australia's controversial Where The Bloody Hell Are You? campaign, is helping drive him to become a better cricketer and a better person.

"I think the person I am now, it's got a lot to do with Lara and theres no doubt that's the truth," he said.

"I'm certainly the first guy to say that if you are happy off the field it shows in your cricket.

"I'm wrapped with my life at the moment and I'm really, really happy and I think that will come across in my cricket.

Unless Christo has quietly made his way to Oz and begun wrapping Michael Clarke and his house/car/workplace, we can't help but suspect the Daily Telegraph meant to write that Clarke was "rapt" with his life. But what do we know?

"Seeing somebody like Lara certainly makes me happy I have something to look forward to when I get home."

"Seeing" makes sense. We never assumed "talking" to somebody like Lara would bring too much joy to a person's life, but we suppose just staring at her half-naked body would be okay, if she promised to keep her thoughts to herself.

Bits of scurrilous titbits from the ARIA Awards are starting to make their way through the grapevine, and we thought this slice might please the gossip-hungry amongst you. We'll copy and paste the email we received but we have, of course, changed the names of those involved. Because we're good like that.

INTERESTING INDEED. And probably VERY FALSE.

Unless, you know, it isn't.

As ever, we can't publish comments which name names (we get smacked in the chops by The Powers That Be if we let 'em slip through) but feel free to have a guess if you're happy knowing that only Defamer Australia can read your suggestions and is revelling in it all.

Ever since it was reported that irresolvable scheduling conflicts brought on by two years of unemployment prevented Katie Holmes from taking on a seven-figure gig reprising her Batman Begins character in The Dark Knight, we've eagerly anticipated getting a look at her big comeback project, Mad Money, in which Holmes joins up with gal pals Queen Latifah and Diane Keaton to rob the Federal Reserve. (Hilarity, as it invariably does in such high-concept situations, ensues.)

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Ellen DeGeneres promises to liven up the Deal or No Deal proceedings when she makes a guest appearance on the hit NBC game show. But unlike past guests, like Donald "The Banker" Trump and Celine "Open Da Case!" Dion, the canine-regifter will join the show's Pyramid of Hot Briefcasemodels. TVGuide.com reports:

That's right: DeGeneres will be one of the 26 briefcase-toting, elegant, sparkly dress-wearing women who may or may not be holding the million-dollar bag.

Will DeGeneres really wear a dress?

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Ease your disappointment from walking into a Halloween party this weekend to discover that no fewer than five other people had been stricken by the same "California wildfire" brainstorm that led you to char your favourite souvenir Malibu t-shirt by reviewing the weekend's box office numbers:

1. Saw IV - $US32.11 million

For a third consecutive Halloween weekend, Lions Gate's strategy of supplying teenage ticket-buyers with a fresh installment of the Saw franchise at the precise moment when their hunger to be delivered an unimaginative, gore-drenched horror sequel is at its natural peak has paid off, bringing the studio yet another easy, late-October box office win.

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Paris Hilton allegedly flew into a rage during a trip to a Toronto adult video store hawking One Night In Paris, ripping down posters and threatening to sue. (Our best guess for the reason behind the outburst: a joker in her entourage told her that she gets no residuals on Canadian sex tape sales.) Footage of the incident may be forthcoming, so get excited: since her miraculous jailhouse conversion to ChristiCatholBibleanity, fun moments like these have been maddeningly rare. [Canada.com]

Quick-triggered DreamWorks mogul Jeffrey Katzenberg was reportedly involved in a simple misunderstanding during a recent visit to New York that resulted in a brief dust-up at the Four Seasons; apparently, a bar manager took a mobile-toting Katzenberg's friendly greeting of,"Who the [bleep] are you? Do you know who I am?" the wrong way, mistaking the common L.A. idiom that translates to a polite, "Excuse me, dear sir, but I am engaged in some pressing business that demands my immediate attention. Please pardon this brief intrusion," for some sort of hostile expression of Hollywood entitlement. After a clarification, the two men shook hands, and no one was roughly escorted from the premises. [Page Six]

While we'd hoped that the foreboding appearance of Alex Perez, Scab Horseman of the Coming Hollywood Apocalypse would instill enough fear in the warring writer and studio factions to nudge them closer to a new deal, it seems that even the repeated viewing of Perez's soul-chilling <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7vHxw6El0Ea href="http://www.hollywoodscabwriter.com/video2.html">Dialogue Sample Promo #1 has done little to stanch the flow of bellicose words from frustrated negotiators.

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Having been burned countless times by the sensationalist tabloid press, Bee Movie star Renee Zellweger did her best to make sure that no baseless eating disorder rumours would distract from her latest project: "The Bridget Jones star refused to make any diva demands for food after a busy day of interviews promoting the film, instead she hunted down where a buffet was set out for journalists and filled her plate. Speaking at the film's premiere, the actress joked: 'Well the food is good in there, [journalists] always get the special food, I had to come and pick up the leftovers!'" [Breitbart]

The Leaky Cauldron posted photos of the first public sighting of Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore as an outed wizard, snapped by a group of muggle bystanders taking in a location shooting of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in the small English village of Lacock. The autograph-seeking youngsters appeared to feel no differently about the conjuring great now that his proclivities have been made public. On the contrary - more than one delighted child's voice was heard to have cried out, "When I grow up, I want to be a powerful gay wizard, just like you!" which drew appreciative chuckles from the larger-than-life figure wearing an Invisibility Beard-Cloak.

• Apparate! More from Location Filming for "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" (Updated) [Leaky Cauldron]

Apparently, we weren't the only ones shocked and saddened to learn that William Shatner's erratic speech patterns and considerable Klingon wrestling experience would not be put to use in the next Star Trek movie. (Some turk named Chris Pine would be playing young Kirk in JJ Abrams' Muppet Babies-esque take on the series.) In Hollywood, however, when one transporter pod closes, another often opens; we're thrilled, then, to direct Mr. Shatner to the following Craigslist casting opportunity for an upcoming major motion picture, tailored to his specific strengths:

Dear Mr. William Shatner,

The Enterprise may no longer want you... but a new enterprise does! We'd like to beam you up for a cameo role in FRATERNITY ESCORTS, a new raunchy college comedy about a group of Animal House-esque misfits who learn to turn tricks for wealthy Beverly Hills women in the hopes of raising forty grand needed to avoid eviction.

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· NBC Universal boss Jeff Zucker whines that his company wasn't making much money from iTunes downloads of its TV shows, and that the control-freaky Apple wouldn't allow him to "experiment" with raising the prices for one of its series. Also, the greedy Apple is apparently to blame for denying them revenue they would then immediately share with their beloved partners in content creation, their writers: "Apple sold millions of dollars worth of hardware off the back of our content and made a lot of money. They did not want to share in what they were making off the hardware or allow us to adjust pricing." [Variety]

· The feds are sending a nanny to tomorrow's contract negotiation session to make sure that WGA and AMPTP play nice in the final moments before a possible strike. [THR]

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We'll have to wait until Wednesday to find out what The View has in store for us this Halloween: We're pretty sure it won't be nearly as scary as last year, which featured Rosie O'Donnell in full Queen Victoria drag, or the one before that, in which Barbara Walters horrified a nation by refusing to break her breathy, baby-voiced Marilyn Monroe character for the entire episode.

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As the Hollywood StrikeWatch Doomsday Clock ticks louder (incidentally, we're still working on a prototype that can run in our sidebar and emit a blood-curdling scream every hour on the hour) with each second counted off until the midnight Wednesday expiration of the Writers Guild's contract with the studios, each new instance of pre-walkout sabre-rattling takes on an increasing, bowel-loosening poignancy. Hoping to get in a couple of shots at WGA leadership before negotiations resume tomorrow, Alliance of Motion Picture & Television Producers president Nick "Why Won't These Greedy Fiends Listen To Reason?" Counter chatted with TV Week about his organisation's frustration with the union's bargaining strategy:

TVWeek: If you haven't reached an agreement by Nov. 1, do you expect the WGA to immediately call a strike? Mr. Counter: That's now entirely in the hands of the leadership, no longer in the hands of the members.

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Portfolio's Hollywood Deal blog writes touchingly of the once-strained relationship between Imagine Entertainment superproducer Brian Grazer and black sheep sibling Gavin, whose reciprocal appearances at each other's recent New York movie premieres (Brian's the troubled $US100 million blockbuster he brought to the screen by sheer force of will; Gavin's, a somewhat less expensive , surrealistic Anthony Hopkins art project) were indicative of a closeness that long eluded brothers on the opposite end of the spectrum of Hollywood success. You need to read the entire story to appreciate their long journey towards reconciliation, but we've excerpted a couple of the piece's feel-good moments here:

Grazer's stature as the younger, struggling sibling of big-shot, Oscar-winning, and occasionally hyper-intense producer Brian Grazer is well-known in Hollywood but will have its first real public airing in Slipstream. Writer-actor-director-producer Hopkins (dubbed "Sir Realist" by one paper) chose to call Gavin's character "Gavin Grazer"; Brian Grazer considered a cameo as the character's unnamed brothers but couldn't schedule it.

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Director Peter Hedges explains how he and his marketing team arrived at his new movie's polarising, flapjack-based poster, which strikes us as being a suitably quirky compromise between a bland "bunch of faces" offering and something that slightly overdoes the visuals in depicting a protagonist just trying to make sense of this crazy thing we call real life: "'What I'm really pleased with is what the poster isn't,' said Hedges. 'It's not a bunch of faces. We had thousands of attempts for poster and this one, for me, caught your eye.' Hedges adds 'the marketing is a real challenge because we live in a culture and a time where everything has to scream and grab, and this film is a human comedy,' which don't scream and grab. 'This film straddles so many genres, it is difficult in a short burst to communicate the fullness of it.'" [Risky Business Blog]

· Defamer videographer Molly goes deep inside slow news day victim Barbara Walters' beef with her TMZ TV tormentors, stringing together the show's speech-impediment-based attack and Walters' subsequent Airing of the Grievances on today's The View. Enjoy the feud while it lasts!
· Brad Pitt's publicist patiently explains that just because someone at his production company may be looking at Unambomber script doesn't mean that he's wandering around the office trying on hooded sweatshirts, sunglasses, and various crazy-person beards quite yet. After all, he may eventually realise that Benicio del Toro is a much more natural fit for the part.
· David Beckham will attempt to save his adopted home from the wildfires through the power of soccer.
· An angry father accuses a strip club of fraudulently lapdancing and champagne-rooming his son into $53,000 worth of charges, threatening to diminish what was obviously the greatest day of his kid's life.