Tuesday, October 23, 2007 - Page 2
Heidi Fleiss’s Stud Farm Now Accepting Manwhore Applications
7:45AM Defamer Hollywood | Hollywood fleshpeddler Heidi Fleiss’s long-gestating Stud Farm project – a gender-reversed counterpart to Nevada’s Chicken and Bunny Ranches that will offer a wide menu of U.S. Grade-A certified he-steak to a man-famished female clientele – is currently fielding applications from sexually potent candidates eager to be included among its stud stable. From heidistudfarm.com: This establishment will hire men to service women. There will be no male to male sexual services offered. More »
Josh Hartnett Stumbles Into First Place During Another Slow Weekend At The Box Office
7:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Take a quick peek out of your window: If the surrounding area is not being ravaged by wildfires, proceed to the weekend’s box office numbers: 1. 30 Days of Night – $US16 million Even when watching him playing second banana to a slumming Harrison Ford or valiantly battling his own libido in a light-hearted abstinence farce (we totally almost believed he could go 40 days and nights without getting some tail!), we always had a feeling that Josh Hartnett would finally put it all together and open a movie at number one during a prolonged period of moviegoer apathy. Maybe it took a little longer than expected, but we knew that he’d get there eventually. More »
Viva Laughlin Cancelled
7:15AM Defamer Hollywood | We’ve just obtainted the new draft of the planned Les Moonves ad to be published in tomorrow’s trades: “Hey, writers – You know what? Fuck you. I’ll cancel my disappointing Fall season myself, bit by bit. Goodbye, Viva Laughlin! By the time you go on strike, there won’t be anything left for you to walk out on. Love, Les. PS – Tell Patric Verrone to check his mailbox. The ear in that bloody wad of Kleenex is Hugh Jackman’s. Just wait until he gets four of Jimmy Smits’ favourite toes on Wednesday morning when I sacrifice Cane to the cause.” [Var] More »Short Ends: Boos, Betrayal, And Great Surfing
7:00AM Mark Wilson | It’s official: Paris Hilton is Hollywood’s must-have awards show punching bag. And though you can’t hear it in the video, a heckler threw in a “Fuck you, bitch” after the boos for good measure. · Francis Ford Coppola claims that the things he supposedly said about Pacino, De Niro, and Nicholson being fat and happy sell-outs in GQ were all taken out of context. · Even though the flames consuming Malibu looked pretty gnarly, the waves lapping at the largely evacuated beach remained tasty. (Have surfers come up with any new words since Fast Times? We’re painfully out of touch with beach patois.) · In a scandal sure to shake the world of celebrity-endorsed diet programs to its very foundation, Jenny Craig shill Kirstie Alley was spotted having some cheap CostCo weight-loss shakes smuggled to her home. Broken knees and anguished promises to never again violate Jenny’s trust to follow. More »
J.K. Rowling Explains Why Uncle Dumbledore Never Got Married
6:45AM Defamer Hollywood | Just in case you forgot to check The Leaky Cauldron over the weekend, J.K. Rowling dropped a bomb before a crowd of young Potterites who had won an audience with the Harry Potter author at Carnegie Hall on Friday. EW.com was there: Responding to a question from a child about Dumbledore’s love life, Rowling hesitated and then revealed, “I always saw Dumbledore as gay.” Filling in a few more details, she said, “Dumbledore fell in love with Grindelwald…. Don’t forget, falling in love can blind us.” More »
Owenwatch
6:40AM Defamer Hollywood | The weeklies continue to be quite generous about keeping everyone up to date on every inch of John Deere-assisted progress Owen Wilson is making on the path back to health, assuring the world that his recovery is proceeding slowly, steadily, and one lawn mower ride at a time. [People] More »The Governator Vs. The Wildfires
6:35AM Defamer Hollywood | We’ve long been sceptical about the Californian Governor’s ability to inspire his fellow Californians during a time in crisis, but following his Malibu address of earlier today, we’re utterly confident that he’s ready to rise to the challenge placed before him. If we had to pinpoint the exact moment of the briefing in which Schwarzenegger won our devotion, it would be when he crumpled up a scripted statement about how he planned to “terminate” the wildfires and, somewhat nonsensically, “crush them, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentations of their women,” realising that we no longer need to be reminded of his glorious Hollywood past to follow his lead, just hear honest, direct, and calmingly monotone words letting us know he’s got things under control. More »
RoboBritney Suffers From None Of The Pitchiness Of The Original
6:30AM Defamer Hollywood | With just eight short days until the release of “Blackout,” Britney Spears’s attempt at stepping away from all the sock-related distractions and again donning her popstar hat (a Kangol-brand porkpie), the first reviews have appeared, including a dispatch from the NY Daily News in which the critic is struck by the robot behind vocals: Her twerpy chirp of a voice and flirty Lolita persona serve mainly as mascots for the music, providing the brand name and raw goods that a massive cast of writers, producers and marketers then manipulate into something commercially attuned. More »
Study: Larry David Might Be Mentally Ill
6:15AM Defamer Hollywood | If you’ve ever felt that the awkward confrontations in which Larry David invariably finds himself during the average episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm sometimes seem like the product of profound mental illness rather than improvisational comedic invention, the work of a clinical psychology student noted in this week’s New Yorker might finally convince you that David’s TV character might have deeper problems than merely being an impatient, fussy jerk. When the student showed episodes of Curb to his schizophrenic patients, they quickly recognised Larry’s socially dysfunctional behaviour: So Roberts began showing TV clips during therapy sessions. Soon he had narrowed his selections down to one show: television’s purest expression of social dysfunction, “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Roberts considers Larry David to be the perfect proxy for a schizophrenic person. “On his way into his dentist’s office, he holds the door open for a woman, and, as a result, she’s seen first,” he said. “He stews, he fumes, he explodes. He’s breaking the social rules that folks with schizophrenia often break.” More »
