Friday, October 12, 2007
Being Booted From Idol Has Hit Mark Da Costa Hard
9:02PM Clem Bastow | It seems Mark Da Costa is not coping as well with his Idol rejection as he first thought, and has turned to spamming innocent MySpace members about amazing Macy’s gift cards.
After all, all the girls are straight up lying when they say talent doesn’t matter.
We look forward to seeing Mark on late-night telemall within a few months, or possibly standing out the front of the Australian Diamond Company wearing a sandwich-board.
ED: In Mark’s defence, he’s in good company – half the bands we’re friends with on MySpazz have come to us with news of the amazing Macy’s gift cards. In fact, Defamer Australia’s favourite Facebook hater, Mr Dan Luscombe of The Drones, once retorted when the subject was raised by several chums at a bar “Have you actually bothered to check the offer out? I might have been alerting you to a really good deal, you ingrates!”. More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Toilets Are For Shouting In, Not Just Storing Awards
11:15AM Clem Bastow | Winegums wasn’t just showing off her chic labourer’s hands and Cruella De Vil hairdo at the recent Mary-Kate and Ashley bash in London, turns out she was there to use the dunnies as some kind of relationship counselling venue.
The warbler and her shifty husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, got into a loud slanging match and Winegums thought the best place for the tattooed couple to duke it out would be in the venue’s toilets.
Go figure.
Amy and her hubby Blake had the mother of all rows, and chose to lock themselves in a cubical during a fashion party while they screamed it out. Then Blake left the venue “with another woman”.
No word as to who this mystery woman was, but the Mirror and others have the source of Winegums’ rage as being top model Lily Cole.
An onlooker told the Mirror: “Blake and Lily were chatting very intently for ages at the dinner table before Amy arrived.”
Far be it for us to make judgements, but maybe Blake just wanted to see what it was like to talk to a woman with a) all her teeth, b) hands that don’t feel like sandpaper and c) is possibly less likely to want to drink his blood to “y’know, get closer to each other, babeehhhh”. More » 
Game On, Moles: Jordan Stalks Us Success
11:06AM Clem Bastow | While we barracked for Alice all the way through cycle 3 of Australia’s Next Top Model, it was plucky and hilarious “gangsta bitch” Jordan Loukas who we not-so-secretly loved.
Whether she was eating a box of teeth/lips-staining blueberries before a beauty shoot or piling Milo into a glass while deadpanning “It’s good for me?”, she was the comic relief of the show.
Well, thanks to her AusNTM champion, Charlotte Dawson, Jordan is heading back to LA.
The model wannabe has hit the US for Runway to LA, Fox8’s reality series that follows her attempts to break into Tinseltown’s cut-throat modelling industry.
Film crews will be following the leggy stunner and her model mentor Charlotte Dawson for two weeks as she goes to castings and is snapped for campaigns, but Loukas isn’t strutting her stuff for just any old gig.
The show will air on Fox8 later this year, and we’ll be jonesing for more Jordan gold. More » The Mid-Morning Wrap Up
11:00AM Anna King | While you were sleeping:
Britney, the picture of sobriety as she sips from a Coke can in court, is awarded with custody for one night each week despite latest act of indecent exposure.
We’re seriously considering starting a Stalkerbook group or Myspazz video campaign to bring Kid Nation to Oz.
SNL/30 Rock star, Tracy “Do you know who I am?” Morgan, proves abstinence is no barrier to craziness.
Still good:
Channel [V] viewers’ “favourite moments on ice” not as exciting as initially seems.
Where would Defamer journalism the global press machine be without Victoria Beckham?
Aussies set to become less virtually unknown in Hollywoood. More » 
Richard Branson Cops It In The Pants
10:48AM Clem Bastow | Sir Richard Branson, the World’s Wackiest Entrepreneur, has finally been tripped up by one of his worryingly regular promotional stunts for Virgin, this time for Virgin Airlines entry into the American carrier market.
Richard made a dick of himself when his bungee jump down the side of the Palms Casino Hotel in Vegas didn’t go exactly as he’d planned, leaving him bruised and shaken – and without the seat of his pants.
It all started so well. Strapped in a harness and attached to a cable, the 57-year-old tycoon beamed confidently before taking a running jump from the roof.
As he descended rapidly, he pulled airline tickets out of his pocket and scattered them to the ground as part of the bungee-cum-abseiling stunt.
But instead of gliding smoothly to the ground, Sir Richard smashed his bottom twice into the building and, as the colour drained from his face, began to realise something was amiss – or rather, missing.
After clamping his hands to his seatless trousers to assess the damage, he was lowered to the ground without further injury.
Poor widdle Wichard apparently scuttled into the comforting embrace of his minders and ran away without answering questions.
Really, isn’t he getting a bit old for all this? What next? “Richard Branson base-jumps to celebrate opening of Virgin Garden Centers”? “Richard Branson self-immolates to launch Virgin Home Security”? It’s anyone’s guess. More » 
When Two Long-Faced Divas Collide…
10:33AM Clem Bastow | Recently sexed-up songstress Delta Goodrem has been dealt a good hand, with Celine Dion requesting to record a song Our Delta wrote last year.
In case you don’t know who Celine Dion is, the French Canadian warbler has sold a few records here and there, so this could mean a significant cash injection for Goodrem if Dion chooses it as a single.
Goodrem wrote Eyes On Me last year with Swedish hitmaker Kristian Lundin who has penned hits for the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears.
It was originally meant for her upcoming third album, Delta, but did not make the cut.
It was then offered to Dion, who chose to record it for her comeback album Taking Chances which is out on November 10.
We’re pleased for Delta’s bank balance, but really, if the powers of Dion and Delta combine, won’t it tear a hole in the space/time fabric or something?
Get ready for cats and dogs living together in mass hysteria! More » 
Good Charlotte Keep Their Hands Off Their Girls, On Dean Geyer’s
10:30AM Clem Bastow | It seems Good Charlotte’s recent display of airport normality was but a shoddy façade meant to disguise their true “rockstar” natures, as word has it that the Madden twins invited the Origliasso twins back to their dressing room at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards.
Who would’ve thought that such nice-looking young men could potentially act so sleazily?
Sydney spies report that brothers Benji and Joel Madden – who are both famously spoken for by Sophie Monk and Nicole Richie respectively – invited Brisbane’s own twin rockers The Veronicas to their dressing room before the show.
The former Wavell Heights girls were later seen leaving their room and Lisa Origliasso was overhead saying to her sister Jess, “I can’t believe he just hit on you”.
Confidential reckon it was Benji, since his fiancee Sophie Monk was outta town, flying back to the US to negotiate a deal.
Looks like her fiance might’ve “negotiated” some “deals” of his own in her absence, eh, eh? More » 
After Pwning The Music Industry, Radiohead Are Pwned By Their Fans
10:24AM Clem Bastow | Presumably Radiohead hoped there would be some fans of theirs who wouldn’t take advantage of their new album’s “pay what you feel” gesture, but it seems most Radiohead listeners are brazen freeloaders.
Which, when you consider that most self-confessed Radiohead fans spend their time living in fifteen-room sharehouses and eating nothing but Two-Minute Noodles and sunshine, is probably not really all that surprising.
Yesterday, about a third of fans decided to pay nothing, according to The Times daily, citing a poll of 3000 people who bought it from the website.
“I chose zero, but maybe if I had a chance to chip in $10, after I hear it if it’s great, then I would,” said one identified fan from Australia, shortly after downloading the album.
The average price chosen was £4 ($9.10) – half the typical album price on online music retailing leader iTunes of around £8 – although 67 people paid more than £10 ($22.80), according to the poll.
You can still pick up a “hard copy” box-set for about £40, but really, isn’t that option now reserved strictly for suckahs?
Word has it James Blunt was considering giving his next release away for free, but no one wanted it anyway. More » The Election To Be Called Today? Perhaps. Perhaps Monday. Perhaps Next Week. We’re Hungry. Can You Make Us A Sandwich?
7:33AM Jess McGuire | So we just heard a rumour that our beloved Prime Minister, a man who appears to have woken up yesterday morning and discovered he loves the concept of reconciliation so fucking much he wants to marry it and make love in the dark to it and have Methodist babies with it, is going to call the election today. Ensure your enrolment details are up to date, kids. (We could be wrong here – IT IS ALMOST GUARANTEED – but we forgot to tell you we’d heard a month ago that Cris Judd was definitely moving to Carlton and that turned out to be right, so better safe than sorry…) UPDATE: Doesn’t look like it’s happening. So we’ll simply keep republishing the contents of this post every morning until it is true. More »
