Wednesday, October 10, 2007
John Howard Sucks Dick, Says Liberal Party Website
10:49AM Jess McGuire | It goes without saying that this news story has managed to tickle our funnybone in ways we previously never thought possible. The Liberal Party website may have been hacked to make Prime Minister John Howard appear to enjoy engaging in a lewd homosexual act. Under the heading, The Liberal Party of Australia, the website reads: John Howard Says “I like to s… d…!” A spokesman for the Liberal Party’s federal secretariat said that officials were investigating the matter. “It appears to be a hoax, but we’re checking it out,” the spokesman said. As one of our chums so nicely pointed out, the wording of “it appears to be a hoax” sounds deliciously as though Liberal reps are fairly sure our Prime Minister doesn’t smoke pole recreationally, but they’ll investigate further just to be sure. Thanks for the heads up, SJX! More »
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: The Brown Touch
10:10AM Clem Bastow | The lords of music giveth and the lords of music taketh away for Amy Winegums. One minute Mick Jagger and Jules Holland are singing her praises, the next minute Ian Brown is having a go.
And given that yesterday he was whining about Our Kylie, we’d have been disappointed if Brownie didn’t say something about Winegums.
British singer Ian Brown has slammed troubled star Amy Winehouse’s partying ways, insisting she is “scared of living”. [...]
He says: “I think (Winehouse) is an absolute sucker. The girl’s got all those tattoos in the last few years – and one day she’s gonna go, ‘Oh no’.
“Suckers. Anyone who drinks to that condition is a sucker. They’re scared of living.”
Because, obviously, Ian Brown has never touched a drink or taken drugs.
Sucker! More » 
From Gunnedah To Orlando, Our Girl Miranda Is Doing Okay
10:02AM Clem Bastow | Orlando Bloom and Australian model-done-good Miranda Kerr continue to confound gossip columnists who clearly didn’t read Dolly Doctor’s assertions that boys and girls can be friends, heading out for a purely platonic dinner in New York.
While “spies” suggest the pair were all over each other, Kerr’s “people” tell a different story.
Kerr’s Sydney-based agent Carly Tuhtan confirmed the genetically-blessed pair had dinner together, but played down suggestions of a romance – no surprise given Tuhtan’s brother Brett has been dating Kerr for several years.
“Yes they had dinner, and yes they are good friends,” Tuhtan told Confidential yesterday.
“They’re rarely in New York at the same time together so they wanted to catch up.”
We’ve not really got anything to add to that other than that looking at Miranda makes us never want to eat Cheeseburgers ever again, if it means we too can have dinner with Orlando Bloom. More » 
Idol Voters Pray For Deliverance From Christian Voting Bloc
9:56AM Clem Bastow | There has been much chatter about the presence of “Hillsong” parishioners in this year’s Australian Idol; well, “Hillsong” joins “illegals” and “Africans” as one of those handy right-leaning current affairs buzz words, since there are no Hillsongers in Idol this year.
There are, however, a handful of Assemblies of God members (Matt Corby, Tarisai Vushe, Daniel Mifsud and Ben McKenzie), and Idol fans are evidently concerned that their churches are engaged in massed voting.
SM of Sydney is worried about the influence of AOG churches on TV shows beamed to homes of people not interested in the church.
“I feel sorry for the poor fools forking out their hard earned to remain members of this organisation,” SM said.
Marg of Sydney called for greater voting transparency. “It’s a shame Idol is being abused this way. Voting blocs are an in-built problem with a show of this nature.”
“Voting blocs” have always been an Idol issue, however; Laura Gissara and her dad’s Telstra phone room and Guy Sebastian’s Hillsong connections are two that spring to mind.
Honestly, though, isn’t the point of a viewer-voted talent quest, well, to get the most votes? What’s the difference between a church-full of Christians and a suburb full of family and friends? More » YouTube Clip Of The Day
9:37AM Jess McGuire | Ahh, it’s great to return to a world of ridiculous and pointless YouTube clips. As Janet Jackson once sang*, “You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone” etc… So let us get straight to the Wednesday edition of YouTube Clip Of The Day, eh? Today’s “piece” comes courtesy of Red Symons, who has created a slightly surreal and confusing (but we laughed uproariously regardless) clip featuring John Howard and Kevin Rudd. According to a YouTube viewer, the translation goes as follows. “Howard”: You and your Chinese friends present have many, many friends in Australia. Rudd: My wife and I especially like Beijing. “Howard”: You and your Chinese friends present have many, many friends in Australia. Rudd: In the 1980’s, my wife and I – together with our young daughter – went to work in Beijing. “Howard”: You and your Chinese friends present have many, many friends in Australia. Many many friends. Many many friends. Rudd: We especially like Beijing’s atmosphere, people, and culture. We briefly interviewed Red Symons about this groundbreaking work this morning. DEFAMER AUSTRALIA: Red – have you been huffing bongs? RED SYMONS: Not for a long time. DEFAMER AUSTRALIA: Uh-huh. RED SYMONS: But they do say it takes about thirty or forty years to get out of your system. DEFAMER AUSTRALIA: Fair enough. *Chillax, pedants. We realise it’s actually Joni Mitchell. More »Letter From The Editor
9:33AM Jess McGuire | It is with a song in her heart and slight sun\liver damage that your editor returns to her beloved Defamer Australia after a much needed holiday on the beach with her ma followed by a delightful gig in Sydney and some general frolicking about on ferries. And now? Now she is home – with a burning desire for idiocy and pop culture. Associate Editor Clem “CLAM” Bastow did a sterling job at keeping the Defamer Australia beast alive in my absence (Winegums Watch – HOW GOOD?), and I worship the ground she walks on. As should you. Allow me to roll up my sleeves once more and get cracking, folks. More »
America’s Need To Smell Like Sarah Jessica Parker Greater Than GNP Of Many Countries
8:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Had you told us that Sarah Jessica Parker not only has a signature perfume, but has one that racked up $A63 million in sales, we’d chuckle lightly and explain how that was simply impossible, as no woman in her right mind would spend a red cent to smell like a well-heeled Manhattan dowager with a documented drinking problem. (Who can keep straight where actress begins and character ends after six seasons?) And yet, nestled in a Forbes slide show covering the bestselling celebrity fragrances of all time, is that astronomical sum – what Parker’s Lovely earned in 2006 alone. More »
‘Prison Break’ Character’s Gruesome Demise Business As Usual At Fox Business Affairs
8:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Viewers of Fox’s drama Prison Break got an unpleasant gift last night (giant spoiler ahead): The fate of Sara, played by actress Sarah Wayne Callies, was revealed when a bloody box was opened, containing her decapitated head inside. Lest Break fans assume the character’s gruesome demise was the product of writers’ room revenge after a difficult and failed negotiation (Callies had a baby recently and reportedly declined producers initial offer of 13 episodes), EP Matt Olmstead explained the creative process that left them with no option but to serve up their star’s head in a box: TV Guide: Let’s discuss the way you killed her off. Some might view it as you guys exacting revenge on Sarah for not returning. Olmstead: We really had no way of using her image other than the existing images that we had. Those Polaroids we used are old wardrobe shots from Season 1 and 2. She didn’t give us any new photos. So [we had to devise a way to] kill her [and still] show a body…. More »
