Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Australian Idol Round-Up: We Are Devastated To See Jacob’s Chipmunk Cheeks Exit Our Screens
11:41AM Clem Bastow | Our “favourite” Idol was given the boot last night; it was sayonara to Jacob Butler’s sweat-tinged upper lip and breathless versions of the hits of the UK recording industry as the Melbourne singer became the latest Idol reject. (We also like the fact that that News Ltd headline, “Jacob Loses Australian Idol Fight” makes him sound like a plucky cancer sufferer in a midday movie.)
His “rousing” parting rendition of The Beatles’ Let It Be (complete with “Everybody out of your seats” moment) was a perfect crystallisation of all the reasons why we’re happy to see the back of him (but wouldn’t actually be happy to see the back of him, eh, eh).
In fact, if they can somehow manage to shuffle Marty off next week, the Final Six could actually make us enthused about following the journey to the Opera House with more than the passing curiosity we have currently, the interest levels of which are about on par with “Hmm, there’s a black mark on the carpet, wonder how that got there?” More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Winning Awards, Stealing Signature Sounds
11:19AM Clem Bastow | Just when Winegums seems set to catch a break, something or someone always pulls the rug out from underneath her.
In this case, the former is her Q Awards win for Album Of The Year (although she couldn’t be stuffed turning up to accept the award), and the latter is soul sister Sharon Jones, who reckons Amy stole her sound. And given that Jones’ band, The Dap Kings, are all over Winegums’ album and live performances, the New Yorker may have a point.
“Even what’s his name [Mark] Ronson.. They came to us to get the sound they wanted behind their music. We were just sitting here minding our own business, doing our little 45s and albums, and all of a sudden they were like, ‘I want your sound.’
First, I feel kind of angry about it,” Jones said, but then added, “Well, if it took Amy to get the Dap-Kings heard, then it’s a good thing. I say it’s great. Thank you.”
“What’s His Name” Ronson is also gagging to get back in the studio with Winegums, so is presumably scouring the underground scene for a new sound to nick for his muse.
We’d like to suggest Sun O))). More » 
Things That Are Hard To Quit, The Kate Moss Way: Fags, Coke, Pete Doherty
11:14AM Clem Bastow | In “say it ain’t so!” news, it appears Kate Moss’ fledgeling “engagement” to The Kills’ Jamie Hince may already be on shaky ground – and her slimeball ex, Pete Doherty, is to blame.
Can we have words with the British government about getting him excommunicated or sent to Antarctica or something?
A source close to mother-of-one Kate revealed: “Jamie was livid when he heard about Kate’s calls to Pete, he really likes her and wanted things to work out.
“Things were going well but it is clear that Kate is still head over heels in love with Pete and she simply can’t let him go — even though she knows she probably should.”
In a Sunday newspaper yesterday, 28-year-old Pete’s minder and close pal Johnny “Headlock” Jeannevol revealed how 33-year-old Kate is desperate to win him back, saying: “Kate was ringing him up all of the time concerned for his well-being, then he started quizzing her about the new bloke and she was evasive.”
Actually, scratch what we said before – send Kate Moss to rehab. She needs to quit Doherty!
Or at least write a mega-selling country’n'western song about their love. More » 
Hugh Grant Is Feeling A Right Tit
11:03AM Clem Bastow | Known for his love of classy “women” and public displays of “affection”, Hugh Grant has stepped it up a notch by getting amongst the barely-legal set at St Andrews University this past weekend – and we owe knowing about it to the magic of Facebook.
At the university for a golf tournament, Grant left the official party and headed to the student bar, where things got hot – so hot that one of the lovely ladies involved thought her Facebook friends would like to know about it.
Cecilia Hoffman, one of the girls nuzzling up to him in the photos, graduated from a Roman Catholic high school in the U.S. last year and has just started her second year at the Scottish university.
Unhappily for Grant, she is also an avid Facebook fan, posting the pictures on the web probably before the hangovers had even kicked in.
No word as to whether Grant was persuaded to join the “I Flip My Pillow Over To Get To The Cold Side” group or add the LOLCATS application during his time with the girls. More » 
Isla Fisher: Fat Comedy Is A Feminist Issue
11:00AM Clem Bastow | Our favourite Home & Away alumni-made-good, Isla Fisher has spoken out against Hollywood’s gender-skewed comedy business.
The perky redhead reckons – and she’d be right – that the big studios are less than enthusiastic when it comes to greenlighting big ticket comedies with women in the leading roles.
“I realised after Wedding Crashers there aren’t that many comic opportunities for women in Hollywood,” Fisher, who was the breakout star of Wedding Crashers, a 2005 comedy headlined by Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn, said.
“All the scripts are for men and you play ‘the girl’.”
Fisher has managed to get two of her pet projects bought by studios – the reasonably self-explanatory Groupies, and The Cookie Queen, about a 30-year-old girl scout – though in typically right-on fashion, the noted feminist news outlet News Ltd has made a point of suggesting her newfound “clout” is because she is Sasha Baron Cohen’s wife-to-be.
The ironing is delicious! More » 
Good Charlotte Don’t Wanna Be In Love, Do Want To Queue For Avis Rental Cars, Luggage
10:48AM Clem Bastow | The band that are singlehandedly keeping Hollywood’s tattoo artists in business, Good Charlotte, have flown into Australia for their tour, which of course few people would actually care about were it not for the presence of their “glamour fiancees“.
Benji (engaged to Our Sophie Monk) and Joel (Nicole Richie’s babydaddy) Madden apparently impressed the local celeb chasers by acting all, well, normal at Sydney Airport.
Benji Madden and his leggy babe Monk looked the rock star part but certainly weren’t playing it when they arrived in Sydney early yesterday.
Not only was there no entourage travelling with the pair, there was no- one to greet them or even drive them to their hotel. If it wasn’t for her bright red mini dress and sensational pins, actress Monk could have been any other attractive blonde Aussie girl as she patiently joined the queue at the Avis car rental counter.
More » 
Big Bad Ian Brown Spoils Kylie’s Q Party
10:39AM Clem Bastow | Perhaps cross that he was considered a “legend” and not an “idol” in the estimations of Q Magazine, Stone Rose Ian Brown has had a big old whinge at the Q Awards ceremony, specifically about Our Kylie (who was there to pick up her Q Idol statuette).
Turns out sooky Ian – who, we might add, hasn’t recorded much of note lately – reckons Kylie’s music isn’t much chop.
He told the BBC Radio Five Live: “I don’t know what Kylie’s doing at a music awards to be honest. “I don’t think she’s cute. I don’t think she’s good-looking. Her music’s rubbish – she makes music for little kids.
“I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m putting her down, but there’s a lot of great minds out there making music and she’s not one of them.”
After saying “I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m putting her down” and then laying into Kyles, it is thought Brown followed up by saying “I’m not racist, but there are too many immigrants in my part of town” and “You’re really fat; no offense, but it’s true”. More » 
The Mid-Morning Wrap Up
10:30AM Anna King | While You Were Sleeping: Owen Wilson is OK peoples. And we all thought he was the chipper one. Officials may have finally caught on to the fact that Britney Spears isn’t that good at parenting, y’all. Madonna is one step closer to buying adopting that baby. It’s Still Good: If anything, we love Krudd even more now. Everyone’s a winner at the Arias! Bert Newton finally dishes on dead guy, still not important enough to warrant real journalism. Rehab’s the new who gives a shit.
