Friday, October 5, 2007
Had Enough Jamie Durie Manpower Footage Yet? Neither Have We!
11:48AM Clem Bastow | Thanks to the magic of technology, and the generosity of Entertainment Tonight’s ET Online, we present, for your viewing pleasure (after the jump), the Jamie Durie “expose” that clearly has us all a flutter this week.
We think young Jamie is totally adorable. Albeit in a would-totally-rub-baby-oil-on-your-silk-shirt, force-you-to-touch-him-in-a-borderline-sexually-harassment-manner kind of way.
Click through if you want to experience the HOTTNESS!
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Large Amounts Of Money Ease The Pain Of Eddie’s Boning
11:13AM Clem Bastow | He might have been “boned” as Channel 9 CEO, but Eddie McGuire hasn’t had much time to consider relocating to a Delfin property in his twilight years, as new 9 CEO David Gyngell already wants Eddie back on-screen and all over Nine’s face.
Gyngell’s big ticket is an even richer version of Eddie’s old stomping ground, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
The live Millionaire series will run for six weeks, giving viewers the chance to win $10,000 an episode.
“This is the most exciting show for me to come back on air with – I really enjoy Millionaire and to up the ante with the $5 million is great news,” McGuire said yesterday.
Good to see that Channel 9 are committed to pumping money into brave new Australian programming choices, isn’t it?
However, we’ll leave this piece at that before we get tempted to use the terms “bone” and “Eddie McGuire” in close proximity again. More » 
News Ltd Pwned By Defamer Australia’s Superfast Pointless Youtube Skillz And Need For Greasy Hunks In G-Strings
11:10AM Clem Bastow | We posted breathlessly about the amazing Jamie Durie “expose” on Entertainment Tonight yesterday, and we gave you the joy of vintage Manpower to boot. Because we care.
Well, it’s good to see our influence is stretching all the way to News Ltd HQ, who only deigned to post about the lulzsome item this morning.
US gossip TV show Entertainment Tonight aired raunchy footage of the Australian gardening guru’s former career as a stripper.
In Australia, it’s no secret Durie was one of the stars of beefcake troupe Manpower, but in the US it’s not so well known.
Blah, blah, blah… What can we say? We silence our competition with a dainty yawn.
PH34R U5!!1! More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Winegums Shocks World By Prioritising No-Good Hubby Over Tour, Career, Breathing, Etc
10:49AM Clem Bastow | Winegums and Uncivil really are living in some kind of star-crossed lovers fantasy or something, aren’t they? As our high-school job boss once said (of Charles and Camilla), we know love is blind, but… fuck!
Anyway, Winegums looks set to derail her comeback tour before it’s even begun by choosing instead to support hubby Blake in court.
Blake is due in the dock on November 12 on a GBH charge after he was accused of battering an East End pub landlord last year. He strongly denies the charge. Besotted Amy is determined to be by his side as he tries to avoid a jail term.
But she is due in Manchester on the same night to play her first UK tour gig since recovering from her drugs overdose.
Family friends say Amy’s dad Mitch is terrified that if Blake is banged up, it may tip fragile Amy over the edge.
A source said: “Blake comes first in Amy’s life — everything else comes second, including her career.
“She doesn’t care that she has a gig that night. Nothing is going to stop her being in court with him.
Is this really surprising to anyone? We might even create a new tag for Winegums Watch, something like “pfffttt”, or something similarly mature, as befits a regular feature dedicated to giddy schoolyard schadenfreude at the expense of troubled singers. More » 
Lolly Jar Not Out Of Reach For Gabrielle; Skinny Figure Nothing But Dreams
10:38AM Clem Bastow | Former pirate-eye-patch-wearer and pop-soul star Gabrielle has told the Mail of her crippling addiction… to lollies and chocs.
The multi-platinum (although more recently low-profile) singer was speaking out against industry standards that suggest all performers need to look like models. Oh, and she’s got a new album out, coincidentally.
“It has taken me years to feel comfortable with who I am,” she says. “So why would I want to start looking and sounding like everyone else now? I’m just a normal girl. I’m not stick- thin, because I love my food. I don’t do drugs, but I like sweet drinks and chocolate.”
…”I don’t go along with the idea that you have to look a certain way or be a certain size to make music. We’re all individuals.
“You might be the skinniest, most amazing-looking woman, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to have hits.”
If you can think of any more Gabrielle song titles to make into a title, feel free to send them in on a postcard, because – apart from harbouring a secret love of Dreams – that’s really the only reason we highlighted this story. More » 
Our Hopes For The Australian ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ Just Fell Considerably
10:28AM Clem Bastow | We had been crossing our fingers that somehow Channel Ten would be shipping Cat Deeley and pals to our shores for the local version of the greatest reality comp of all time, So You Think You Can Dance.
However, like in so many aspects of our life, we are set to be disappointed, given that Natalie Bassingthwaighte is in contention to host.
Her manager has confirmed the pint-sized rocker is in contention but nothing is locked in as yet.
If she gets the gig she will join recently announced judges Jason Coleman and Matt Lee to front the local version of the US franchise.
Muh! We will, however, take this opportunity to put out our wish-list for guest judges and choreographers: Please, Santa, bring Gideon Obarzanek, Steven Heathcote, Meryl Tankard, Graeme Murphy and Wade Robson (because he is Australian) to the party!
Although, knowing our luck, it’ll be Dein Perry’s Tapdogs all the way.
For the official Ten presser and deets on the announced judges, see after the jump.
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Kickin’ It With Christina
10:11AM Clem Bastow | How the mighty have fallen – we remember a time, around the release of Looking For Alibrandi, when Kick Gurry was the #1 choice hottie (or whatever) in Australian film and television, and tipped to be the next big thing.
Now, he is just another “little-known Australian actor” – but it’s not all tears in the Gurry camp; at least he’s managed to snag himself a Hollywood girlfriend.
Gurry has just finished co-starring with Golden Globe nominee [Christina] Ricci in Speed Racer, a live-action remake of the 1960s Japanese cartoon, but it is understood their relationship has spilled from the set into real life.
While both their agents have declined to comment on the romance, the pair set tongues wagging at an “Aussies in LA” event for the AFL Grand Final at Hollywood Billiards sports bar last week.
…”The whole party was talking about the fact that they were an item.”
Well, if it is true, ‘gratz to Kick for managing to claw his way back from former-next-big-thing obscurity, but really, there’s only one issue about this pairing that we’re particularly interested in.
Imagine, if they had children, how round the kids’ faces would be – they’d be like hi-bouncing balls with legs and arms! More » 
Home & Away Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Cat, Rating
8:03AM Clem Bastow | Home & Away has been slapped on the wrist by the Australian Communications and Media Authority after a couple of sexxxx-rated storylines slipped through the net and still garnered a ‘G’ rating.
The ACMA sez plots about pole-dancing and virginity-losing shouldn’t have been able to be viewed by kids unfettered by parental guidance.
The ACMA determined the pole-dancing scenes contained in the episodes contained “visual depictions of sexual behaviour, that their impact was higher than very mild, and that the episodes were not suitable for children to watch without supervision”.
Seven has advised ACMA it will take more care in future.
To be honest, we always just assumed the soap was rated PG, what with their storylines about cults impregnating free-spirited surfie chicks after drugging them, and MILFs seducing Year 11 students and the like.
Then again, with the Bratz “prom night” playset stopping barely short of including a hotel room, it is possible that we are living in the past. More » 
Idol Contestants Not Singing For Hillsong
8:01AM Clem Bastow | After “a Channel Seven program” (probably starting with “T” and ending with “oday Tonight”) suggested that Hillsong Church had infiltrated Australian Idol with its worshippers and was stacking the votes, both Channel Ten and Hillsong have put paid to the whispers.
Apparently Tarisai, Ben, Daniel and Matt are all Hillsongers.
A Ten spokesperson said the large quota of Hillsong finalists was a coincidence.
Hillsong responded to the allegations: “No Australian Idol contestant has received any mention at Hillsong Church this year, but we wish them all well.”
You know, we’re not mad keen on the general omnipresence of Hillsong, either, but tend to think “who cares?” when it comes to the contestants’ choice of faith and/or house of worship.
Really, Christians provide this fabulous grey area for those who like to be outwardly intolerant towards a particular religion; after all, can you imagine a smarmy expose along the lines of, “The vote-stacking Synagogues of East St Kilda” or “The practising Buddhists who are overrunning our reality/talent shows”?
Come to think of it, don’t answer that. More » 
