The Ongoing Saga Of The Surfer And The Supermodel Reaches New, Sweary Heights

In an effort to become more like NW, we told you the other day about the love triangle of Taj Burrows, Cheyenne Tozzi and Brandon Davis; well, now we have pro-surfer Burrows’ stance on the whole thing – which, it turns out, is a whole lot of *$#@!!

(And no, we’ve not stopped swearing all of a sudden, we just like the old comic-book technique when it comes to accurately describing a particularly foulmouthed outburst.)

The surfer dude poured his heart out to wave mag Stab, proving that gnarly tube-riders have feelings too, dude. Cowabunga.

“Fuck, I can’t even think straight. I’ve seen so many photos of her with that cunt. I can’t get it out of my head,” Burrow wrote.

“I can’t believe I have found out through the net and gossip mags that my chick is pumping some fuck. I’ve lost my mind.”

Spurred on by the intense anger and frustration he was feeling, Burrow went on to wipe out eight-time world champion Kelly Slater and take out the Billabong Pro title that very same day.

So there you have it: if you’re looking for that last burst of inspiration to bring home the bacon, whether it be in surfing or your upcoming office presentation, all you need to do is imagine your chick “pumping some fuck”, and you too can slay the giants of your chosen pursuit.