The Mid-Morning Wrap Up

While you were sleeping:
· Welcome to The Club, Owen.
· Republicans learn from Bush presidency, enlists professional actor as new candidate in their bid to legitimise taking innocent lives, gay-bashing etc.
· Just when we’re thinking it’s been too long since we’ve seen Seacrest’s overexposed adorable mug.

It’s still good:
· Conservatives nationwide appalled by fingerbanging, Andrew Bolt shocked to discover the location of the clitoris.
· In case we’re out of touch and you actually do still care about Delta Goodrem.
· Pavarotti: going, going, gone.