The Mid-Morning Wrap Up

While you were sleeping:
· LAPD impedes Kiefer Sutherland from saving the world one DUI at a time.
· Mel Gibson to abandon Malibu for Costa Rica.
· Denise “I want Charlie Sheen’s sperm” Richards vs. Charlie “I’m just too popular” Sheen: the sleepover wars edition.

It’s still good:
· Jason Donovan on crack: all the cool kids were doing it!
· Idol resumes status as a singing competition.
· Two Zzzz-list Aussies break it off, we pretend to weep/give a crap.