“On My Command, Unleash Television Hell!”
There we were thinking the new Nick Giannopoulos “project” was going to be the greatest thing to hit our television screens for the next decade… then we discover…
… are you ready?
Those daring programming motherfuckers at Channel Seven are bringing Gladiators back.
GLADIATORS! GLADIATORS!
We’ll stop screaming and offer up the press release after the jump.
Channel Seven today announced television phenomenon Gladiators will return to our screens in 2008.Seven’s Head of Program Development, Mr Brad Lyons, said the search begins this week across Australia for a new generation of Gladiators.
“We’re extremely excited about re-launching this massive show which was such an audience favourite, “Mr Lyons said.
“It will have a new look but will still retain the classic battles between Gladiator and Contender. We are currently on the hunt for a new bunch of Gladiators and those prepared to step into the arena to take them on.â€
Gladiators premiered on Seven in 1995 – and launched to massive ratings.
The show pitted everyday contestants in a variety of physical events against the ‘Gladiators’. The likes of Predator, Commando, Vulcan, Storm, Glacier and Flame presented a spectacle of human endurance each week as they battled an inexhaustible procession of challenges such as hang tough, pyramid, powerball and swingshot.
Seven will announce the Gladiators line-up, plus hosts at a later date.
We forgot there was a Gladiator called Predator! All the memories are flooding back now though, let us assure you. Will the revamped program require new Gladiator names? If so, we suggest…
- Molesty!
- Stabman!
- Russell!
- Cockpunch!
- Etc!
Feel free to make up a few of your own. We’re sure Channel Seven is paying very close attention to Defamer Australia and taking all our tips and feedback on board.
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Comments
I am SOOOO excited by this. It is basically porn for the gays.
I still have nightmares about Flame though, such a scary scary manwoman.
Gladiators! Woooo!
They should totally take inspiration from the movies for the names. Then we can have Maximus, Spartacus and Biggus Dickus.
Of course, ironically, Biggus Dickus would be rather underendowed due to the steroids…
Sigh.
Look, I realise that the whole tone of this site is one of satirical criticism, and that the comments from its regular readers will reflect that, but I’d just like to break the trend for a moment to say that I was a true fan and avid watcher of the original Gladiators series. And while I don’t know if I’ll take to this new incarnation with the same amount of zeal, I’ll certainly be watching the first episode with enthusiasm.
I mean, come on, any show that could finally drive the last coffin-nail into the shambling undead horror that was “Hey Hey It’s Saturday” can’t be all bad, right?
P.S. as for that “porn for the gays” comment, what, you think straight women didn’t ogle those lycra-clad packages too?
Omigosh. I just wrote about this too on my blog. It’s so exciting hey? I’m just wondering what other 1990s gems are being kicked around producers tables at the moment. Does anyone remember Australian Changing Rooms and all the absolutely hideous renovations they did on that? All the MDF and bright paint. Comedy gold.
oh..
my..
god..
that is fantastic! i was too young to drink when it was aired, but now, its on like Donkey Kong yo!
remember the Full Frontal sketches where the host chick would say “you’re internally hemorrhaging, was that your plan?”
good times..
DA: “remember the Full Frontal sketches where the host chick would say ‘you’re internally hemorrhaging, was that your plan?’” – No, but you just made us laugh quite audibly with that. x
Gladiator PLANK
HOLY FUCKING AWESOME!!!! :D :D :D :D
THIS SHOW ROCKED, i’m going to the auditions BRING IT!!!!!