Natalie Portman Nude, Finally, Sort Of. But Tastefully Done!

Thanks to today’s iTunes release of the Wes Anderson short Hotel Chevalier, in which legendarily modest Natalie Portman finally fulfils some of the semi-nude promise hinted at in her suspiciously clothing-positive turn as a stripper in Closer, long-frustrated Star Wars fans finally have the crucial missing piece in their Amidala-centered masturbatory fantasies.(We’re not sure of the details, but we imagine that a considerable amount of heavy breathing into a Darth Vader voice-changing helmet is involved, as well as filthy boasts about “filling up the naughty little princess with twins who will one day save the galaxy.”) As expected, the images of an unclothed Portman have made an impressively speedy transition from Quicktime movie files to still photos that will soon be ubiquitous on blogspots like this one. However, those who need to view the Portman side-boob shots in the artistic context in which Anderson intended in order to achieve manual catharsis will need to spend a few minutes downloading the entire 13:00 minute short from the iTunes store, at least for now.

• Hotel Chevalier [iTunes]
• Natalie Portman Nude in Hotel Chevalier! [Egotastic]