Movie Fans Choose Fantasy Schools; Fail At School Of Life

Ah, bless: movie fans have been furiously logging on to the website of Pearl & Dean (remember their obnoxiously loud cinema ads in the ’80s?) to vote in a very important competition. To wit, choosing which cinematic school they would most like to attend in real life.

It’s true, we have no words; here is the top ten they decided upon

1. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: Harry Potter series – 38 per cent
2. Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters: X-men – 17 per cent
3. St. Trinian’s: St. Trinian’s series – 10 per cent
4. Rydell High School: Grease – eight per cent
5. Horace Green Preparatory School: The School of Rock seven per cent
6. South Park Elementary: South Park The Movie: Bigger, Longer and Uncut – six per cent
7. Hill Valley High School: Back to the Future – six per cent
8. New York City High School for the Performing Arts: Fame – four per cent
9. Shermer High School: The Breakfast Club – three per cent
10. Lake Forest High School: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – one per cent

So, basically, these “people” would like to attend a school that (in descending order) officially doesn’t exist and is haunted by dementors (etc); gets wasted by evil mutants; we’ve never heard of; is full of uptight white collar wankers’ children; is taught by psychotic transsexuals; hands out tardy passes like candy; is so competitive it turns innocent Irene Cara to porn; is run by a drunk-on-power hard-arse who likes to threaten students with violence and whole-day detentions; and whose principal is a borderline psychopath that abuses animals (and turned out to be a kiddy fiddler).

Top choices, nerds!