Jason Donovan: “My Drug Hell”; Finally, A Chance To Use Our Favourite Headline!

Clearly feeling he’d been out of the press for too long, Our Jase has admitted – mid-autobiography – to hoovering up the white stuff at Kate Moss’ 21st birthday party – so much, in fact, that he had to be carted away to hospital.

Yes, nothing can divide us, it seems, except a prodigious drug habit and the intervention of those pesky emergency servicepeople!

Donovan said he collapsed on the dance floor as the now deceased INXS frontman Michael Hutchence sang Van Morrison’s hit Gloria accompanied by [Johnny] Depp on guitar.

“I am not sure what happened next but I do know that someone had pulled the plug on the music and was calling for an ambulance,” Donovan said.

“A crowd had circled round me and Michael was standing over me trying to empty my trouser pockets.

“‘Have you got anything on you?’ he kept asking me.

Hutchence’s excuse was apparently that it wouldn’t be “cool” if the ambos found drugs on Our Jase’s person.

But what a scintillating picture he paints of the heady days of all-star substance abuse! The Viper Room! Depp! Hutchence! Moss! Donovan! Expect the rights to be optioned to the Hallmark Channel within the next few months.