Jake Gyllenhaal Probably Needs A Hug From Larry King Right About Now

The above interview with Rendition star and dreamy-eyed justifiable-torture advocate Jake Gyllenhaal is a perfect example of why Hollywood appointed the more eloquent George Clooney its official spokesperson to the world for all complicated political issues sometime back in 2005; had it been Clooney sitting in that chair, by the time his two minute were up, we would’ve been booking a ticket on the next raft to Guantanamo, ready to lob Molotov cocktails in protest – but only after handing him some cash towards the purchase of a For Your Oscar Consideration ad in recognition of the psychological hardships he endured by being present for those harrowing waterboarding scenes. Even after several attempts at deciphering Gyllenhaal’s rambling answers, all we feel like doing is calling his publicists to scold them for sending him off to the vicious interrogators of Showbiz Tonight totally unprepared to defend himself against their notorious hardballing tactics.

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