Saturday, September 29, 2007
Kiefer Charged
9:30AM Defamer Hollywood | We’ll admit to perhaps being in the tiniest amount of denial about this Kiefer Sutherland DUI situation, as we spent most of the week trying to convince ourselves that the story was just some kind of hallucinatory side effect of our own morning hangover. But then news arrives about charges being officially filed today and it becomes a little harder to ignore the fact that America’s most lovable, belt-sander-wielding, Geneva-convention-violating counterterrorist (see, there we go again, emotionally defending ourselves by imagining he’s as invulnerable as Jack Bauer) could be in some real jeopardy: The star of the Fox TV drama 24 was charged with single counts of driving under the influence and driving with a blood-alcohol level of .08 or above, said city attorney spokesman Nick Velasquez. If convicted, he faces a maximum sentence of a year in jail and a minimum of four days, Velasquez said. More »
Britney Spears Honoured For Staged Incompetence
9:00AM Defamer Hollywood | In what must be the most trying and unheralded period of Britney Spears’s career yet, any sort of achievement – even topping a UKTV Gold poll honouring the “most embarrassing dance sequence of all time” – must come as welcome news. Surely learning not even the mass cringing elicited by Elaine Benes’s thumb-flinging pas de incontinence could approach that of her own VMAs performance should be enough to comfort Spears with the knowledge that 2007 wasn’t a total wash. Britney’s “crime against choreography” tops poll [today.reuters.com] More »Angelina Jolie Can Make You Cry On Command
8:30AM Defamer Hollywood | While we’d like to think that every impoverished child Angelina Jolie encounters on her world travels will eventually find him or herself a member of the seemingly always-expanding Pitt-Jolie clan, she cannot, in fact, adopt them all. More »
Ongoing Penances
8:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Were those 82 horrifying minutes of incarceration not punishment enough for expectant mum Nicole Richie? She’ll now have to endure 18 months of anti-drunk-driving education, much of which she’ll spend sending in the back of the room, rolling her eyes and complaining to a classmate, “Hell-oooo? Don’t these idiots know I was on pot and Vicodin when I drove the wrong way on the 134, not booze? Can you wake me up when we get that part?” [People] More »
Did Michelle Rodriguez Fall Off The Parole-Adherence Wagon?
8:00AM Defamer Hollywood | While repeat DUI-offender Michelle Rodriguez’s employment woes have been temporarily staved off, having won a role in James Cameron’s hotly anticipated Avatar, her legal troubles continue to come up on her like a Spam-and-cheese sandwich after one too many after-work Scorpion Bowls. At issue is an L.A. parole violation for her drunk driving arrest in Hawaii in 2005, for which she was sentenced to 60 days in jail, and which, in typical celebrity justice fashion, turned into 4 hours and 27 minutes of hard time, and 30 mandated days of community service. Now prosecutors are claiming she came up short, and lied about the days she claimed she did work: Prosecutors in Los Angeles want the former “Lost” star’s probation on several charges including hit and run and driving under the influence, revoked for allegedly failing to fulfil her community service obligations. More »Short Ends: Lisping Rocks, Posh Nazi-Hunters, And Tumescent Hacks
7:45AM Defamer Hollywood | No, The Rock, don’t eat those cookies your daughter baked for you! There’s cinnamon in them, and you’ll have a hilarious allergic reaction that makes you talk like Robin Williams doing his Deaf Guy impression! · Posh makes the far tougher-looking Nazi-hunter, in our opinion. · Two generations of Stillers offer updates on Owen Wilson’s recovery. · Ratner embonered by the hott, NC-17 sex in Ang Lee’s Lust, Caution. Sun rises, sun sets, Ryan Adams melts down onstage. More »‘Seinfeld’ Gives Recycling Scammers Business Inspiration
7:30AM Defamer Hollywood | In what is being referred to as the “Seinfeld Scam,” thirteen free-thinking entrepreneurs have apparently taken some inspiration from a 1996 episode of the show in which Newman and a pre-racist Kramer head to Michigan laden with aluminium cans, hoping to exploit the state’s generous 10-cent recycling rate for profit. Sure, the can-smugglers have technically committed fraud and cost Michigan millions of dollars, but they do deserve credit for at least borrowing a potentially lucrative plotline from the show; other, less-imaginative – but more law-abiding – fans are hardly getting rich from their Seinfeld-derived businesses and snapping up seven-figure mansions. 13 Arrested In Seinfeld-Type Scam [Liveleak via Breitbart] More »
Pushy Junket Reporter Ropes Adam Sandler Into The Gay Cause
7:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Mexican audiences will be able to find out what all the bear-on-bear fireman fuss was about, as Los declaro marido y … Larry – aka I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry – is finally getting a release there. (It rolled into Spain a few weeks ago, with the far catchier title Os Declaro Marido Y Marido, and an accompanying feeder-fetish website that hearkens to other classics of the genre.) In Mexico City to promote the opening, Adam Sandler appears to have fallen for the oldest wire reporter trick in the book – answering “Sure, why not?” to a seemingly innocuous but strategically phrased question, then waking up to headlines outlining your passionate commitment to fighting for gay rights: Adam Sandler says he would like to work alongside gay-rights groups after starring in “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.” More »
Trade Roundup:The WGA Vs. Temptation
6:45AM Defamer Hollywood | The Writers Guild, SAG, AFTRA, and the Teamsters picketed FremantleMedia yesterday over the game show Temptation, a protest that followed four writers walking off the show last month because they are working way too hard on a Sale of the Century clone not to have Guild benefits: “‘We worked 14 to 18 hours a day on ‘Temptation’ for two months,’ said guild member Aaron Solomon, head writer for Temptation and one of the four who walked. ‘The fact that Fremantle wouldn’t negotiate with the WGAW felt like a slap in the face.’” [THR] · The Office’s hourlong premiere – which is sure to inspire a resurgence of rabies-awareness 5km fun runs at places of business all across the country, complete with stripper nurses and huge checks – tied its best-ever rating in the 18-49 demo. [THR] More »
