Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Defamer Australia Competition – Double Passes To ‘Air Guitar Nation’
12:17PM Jess McGuire | It’s give-away time again here at Defamer Australia, and thanks to Melbourne’s wonderful Cinema Nova, we’re happy to be able to offer up some double passes to a screening of Air Guitar Nation tomorrow night!
A battle of naked ambition played out on the national and ultimately world stage, Air Guitar Nation chronicles the birth of the US Air Guitar Championships as legions of aspiring rock stars live out their dreams on a quest to become the world champion in a strange world where musical ability plays second fiddle to virtual virtuosity. As the film un-reels, two aspiring rock legends strum and strut their way towards glory and the coveted national title. C-Diddy (David Jung) a samurai warrior clad in a “Hello Kitty” breast plate and red kimono emerges as an early favourite. But his arch nemesis from the Lower East Side, Bjorn Turoque (Dan Crane) is not far behind. As the film reaches its climax, the future of Air hangs in the balance; will Björn’s technical prowess, stage presence and airness be enough to take him to the top or will C-Diddy conquer all to become America’s first supreme being of air guitar?
Unless you’ve got some sort of kick-arse frequent flying deal hooked up, this competition is for Melbourne-based folk who can actually get to Lygon Street in Carlton without too much hassle. But never fear, non-Melbourne based readers! We have more freebies to giveaway soon which you can make a play for.
The screening details are as follows.
Tuesday September 11 – 7pmCinema NovaLevel One, 380 Lygon Street, Carlton
If you’d like a double pass to check out the flick, simply comment below (using a valid email address we can contact you on*) and tell us what your favourite air guitar track is. Ours is probably ‘Gabrielle’ by Thin Lizzy Ween.
*Just to organise tickets. We won’t spam you or forward you rubbish email, swears. More » 
The Mid-Morning Wrap Up
12:00PM Anna King | While you were sleeping: “When you have already writhed with a python and shown us your lady bits, a little bump and grind and sloppy lip synch to a monotone electro-pop number just isn’t going to cut it.” Ouch… Personally, we found Britney’s comeback deliciously painful. Can’t wait for the sequel. It’s still good: Posh is now a disease of epidemic proportions. Bert Newton’s vibrator gags are endearing so unscrunch those panties, peoples. Nick Giannopoulos attempts to upstage Britney for worst comeback ever. More »Britney Watch: Remembering Those Who Went Before Her
11:41AM Clem Bastow | Poor Britney Spears’ ubearable MTV VMAs performance will no doubt be doing the rounds for some time now, so – perhaps in an effort to deflect some of the arrows being shot at Spears from less friendly corners of the media (i.e. all of them) – The Guardian’s James Donaghy has lightened the mood with a list of other awards show train-wrecks, including one from our favourite primal scream groan therapy practitioner, Joss Stone:
Joss Stone at the Brits, 2007
It takes a lifetime to build up goodwill with the public and 30 seconds to demolish it. Joss Stone’s weird Valley Girl cameo at this year’s Brits immediately catapulted her to the top of everyone’s hate-list above Bin Laden, the Khmer Rouge and James Blunt.
Uuunngghh… are you diggin’ on that?
Cheers to The Better Paper for a few gentle laffs amongst the frankly unsettling amounts of vitriol being leveled at Britney. More » 
Idol Round-Up: Questionable Song Choice Standing In The Way Of Holly’s Idol Dreams
11:30AM Clem Bastow | Adorably dorky Mildura barmaid Holly Weinert last night became Australian Idol ’07’s first casualty with a performance described by Kyle Sandilands as “Patti Newton on crack”.
Weinert played her part as this year’s Reigan Derry by being “true to herself” by choosing a song that would’ve freaked out 98.3% of Idol viewers: The Gossip’s Standing In The Way Of Control (she did, however, give it a pretty red hot go). Despite neither being gay nor fat, Holly reckoned the song showed audiences who she was, and evidently they didn’t like it.
Although, we will also express our dismay that Lana Krost is most certainly this year’s Schoolgirl Lauren, somehow escaping a boot out the door for her wet, tone-deaf and largely forgettable rendition of The Boog’s Shiver.
This Sunday’s rock night will surely sort the wheat from the chaff, or at least provide Idol car-crash material the quality of which has not been “enjoyed” by viewers since Cosima De Vito went for a big note in River Deep, Mountain High only to find no sound emitting from her mouth, followed by a facial expression that would’ve won first prize in the international gurning contests. More » 
We Know Abbie Cornish Might’ve Had Her Paws On Ryan Philippe, But Surely This Is Going A Bit Too Far
11:14AM Clem Bastow | News.com.au keeps kicking goals, today linking us to this perfunctory fluff piece about Abbie Cornish’s role in Elizabeth: The Golden Age with a title that perhaps betrays just how those online subs feel about Abbie’s rumoured involvement in the Witherspoon/Philippe split:
cronePronunciation: ‘krOnFunction: nounEtymology: Middle English, a term of abuse, from Anglo-French caroine, charoine dead flesh (see: CARION): a withered old woman
More » 
Russell “Foightin’” Crowe Regrets Passing On ‘Australia’, Settles For $50 Million Western Instead
11:10AM Clem Bastow | Our Russell Crowe has told Confidential of his regret at having to pull out of Baz Luhrmann’s Australia when shooting was delayed (his role, opposite Nicole Kidman, going to Hugh Jackman instead).
In a chatty mood, Crowe’s main reason for wanting to have done the flick seems to be because he would’ve been able to hang with his mates.
“Baz, Nic, Hugh and many of my other friends are in the cast and crew,” he said.
“It will be an instant classic and as a movie lover I can’t wait to see it.”
It’s not all tears at bedtime for Crowe, however, as his name is being entered into this round of Oscar whispers thanks to his role in the nu-western (dead genre, according to Ridley Scott) 3:10 To Yuma, which pulled $14.1 million in its opening weekend.
Diddums! More » 
Amy Winehouse Watch: Should Mitch Control Amy’s Drug Money? Should We Get A Solid Gold Toilet?
10:53AM Clem Bastow | After yesterday’s frankly shocking lack of Winegums news, today brings hope in the form of the Daily Mail, who are obviously also suffering from withdrawal symptoms.
Last week they reported that Amy’s dad Mitch wanted her to sign over her “drug money” to him (to prevent husband Blake Fielder-Civil from gobbling it all up, evidently); today they are featuring the topic as an online poll. And the results are in!
As you can see, our Winegums addiction had us repeatedly trying to vote. Come on, Amy, help yo sistas out! Do something, anything! WE CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!! More » 
Howard Admits IR Reforms Freaked People Out; Also Explains: Water Wet, Fire Hot
10:40AM Clem Bastow | Prime Minister John Howard’s election chances are looking shaky for anything other than a sympathy fuck vote, as he admitted to 7.30 Report sexpot Kerry O’Brien last night that the IR reforms left Australians “uneasy” and “unnerved people”.
Howard also took a moment to do his best Tangina from Poltergeist impression, telling Kerry about the vibes he picks up from opinion polls, i.e. that what the polls are saying is not what they actually mean, or something like that.
“I don’t believe they (opinion polls) are telling me the Government is terminal. I don’t believe they’re telling me I ought to go,” he said.
“I believe they are telling me, ‘You’ve been a good Government but we want more from you about the future’. I hear that message and I intend to respond.”
Rumours that, in a desperate move to be seen as hip and with it to the MTV generation, Howard was planning to team up with Jackie Stallone for a celebreality show about esoteric psychics could not be confirmed at time of press. More » Idol’s Matt Corby May Not Be The Hillsongin’ Puritan We Initially Suspected, Especially Since The Bi-Lo Regina Spektor Has Managed To (Literally) Get Her Paws On Him
9:25AM Jess McGuire | Hot times at Australian Idol Headquarters, it would seem!
Gossip magazines have engaged in a bidding frenzy over steamy spa snaps of two Australian Idol hopefuls.
Photos show 16-year-old Matt Corby and Brianna Carpenter, five years his senior, cuddling in the spa of the $15 million Idol mansion.
Both finalists have claimed to be in relationships outside the program.
You’d never have caught Guy Sebastian and Paulini indulging in such lustful behaviour.
According to the article, the photos have been sold for “thousands” of dollars. So just how steamy are they?
Corby is shown with Carpenter on his knee while the two laugh in their swimwear. Teen heart-throb Corby’s arms are around Carpenter’s waist.
Well, we suppose if you’re the poster boy for warbling Assembly of God teens, then news you’ve been seen laughing (whilst putting your arm around her, no less!) with infuriatingly twee older lady Brianna won’t work in your SMS vote gathering favour.
Personally we’re waiting for the glorious day we open the paper and learn of a pill-and-amyl binge occurring in the Idol house, the drug bender resulting in a wild, frenzied orgy. If it emerged that a canny Cal Wilson, hidden behind the piano in Idol HQ, had filmed and narrated the entire thing, and planned on releasing it on video tape under the deliciously dodgy porn title The REAL Inside Idol? We would faint with excitement and glee.
Until then, however, we’ll probably have to accept the fact we’re always going to end up disappointed by all the so-called scandalous acts performed by the wannabe pop stars. More » 
