The Latest Report From Our UK Correspondent

Here at Defamer Australia, we always endeavour to keep abreast with the pop culture goings on not only in our own magical brown land, but also in the overcast land that is the British Isles.

To ensure we do so to the best of our abilities, we flew over one of our best “people”, the marvellous William Fop Esquire, and gave him one task; tell us what the fuck is going down in ol’ Blighty, preferably in point form, but however you desire to deliver said news will suffice.

Being an obedient sort of man, he has filed a report with us. Please enjoy after the jump.What’s hot!

1. Acting elegant when you are clearly not
2. Subtle racism
3. Big fringes (see Nicola of Girls Aloud in the ‘Sexy! No, no, no…’ clip for a good example)
4. Girls Aloud generally and their constant, though probably unsustainable, musical envelope-pushing
5. Glaring at people and then actually pushing them out of the way when they get the ‘Seek Assistance’ message upon attempting to get through the passenger gates on the Underground, thereby impeding your progress
6. Rumours about sweary celebrity chefs’ sexuality
7. The two on the Friday Night Project
8. Pranks/japery involving cocktail sausages

What’s not!

1. Where is Madeleine McCann etc etc
2. Winter commencing mid-August
3. Bad cafe breakfasts (the general rule of thumb in most places is ‘just tip a can of beans on it to fill up the plate’)
3. Minogue, K’s facking ’soft furnishings’ line
4. Kate Moss’s appalling collection at Top Shop
5. Starting sentences with ‘Well according to the Daily Mail…’
6. Releasing your music free with a publication of questionable import
7. Melanie C’s continued inability to apply eye makeup with any kind of rigour
8. “Wet weather means Britain is now home to a staggering 14 million slugs.”