HUUUUUGHESY Apologises To Sandilands, Means A Great Deal To Australia’s Dickheads

Presumably Dave Hughes has spent the past couple of days quaking in his boots thanks to Kyle “King” Sandilands’ threatening to “punch him in the throat”, after Andrew Denton reminded the inexplicably highly-paid media “identity” that Hughesy had referred to him as a “massive dickhead” at the Logies. No doubt wishing to save his throat from Sandilands’ powerfully meaty fists, Hughes has released the best public apology we’ve seen in a loooong time:

“Mr Hughes said : ‘I am sincerely and deeply sorry that Kyle Sandilands is a massive dickhead.’

“Mr Hughes hopes that this sincere and unreserved apology will put this ugliness to rest and stop Mr Sandilands from going to jail.

“Mr Hughes further remarked: ‘No one deserves to go to jail just for being a massive dickhead. Massive dickheads have the same rights as normal people.’

“Mr Hughes is not available for further comment on this matter.”

Reports that Kyle was seen throwing a massive tanty on the floor of the ‘Chips & Snacks’ aisle of his local Safeway while Tamara Jaber hid her face in shame could not be confirmed at time of press.