Doherty’s Crackhead Cat Forces UK’s “Quality” National Broadsheet To Employ LOLCAT-Based Reportage

It’s a dilemma plenty of fine publications have found themselves in: a flashy tabloid peer announces that the RSPCA has removed a kitten from its owner – allegedly one Pete Doherty – after the kitty chowed down on crack; broadsheet is left scratching head and wondering just how they will one-up their colourful half-sized counterpart.

In the case of The Guardian, the solution to the problem is simple: LOLCATS.

A LOLCats dramatisation of Pete Doherty’s crackhead cat. Graphic: Kelly Nestruck

So, you’re a junkie. You love to spend the best part of your waking hours (roughly 21 out of every 24) doing drugs any which way you can, be it up the nose, bum or in between the toes in order not to ruin your otherwise porcelain-like complexion. You get so obsessed with drugs you forget your mother’s birthday. Is it really that unlikely then that you’d want to share your habit with your cat?

Apart from the sheer genius of the whole thing, we especially love that there must’ve been a chance a reader might’ve assumed LOLCAT in question really is Doherty’s, sending a distress signal via ICanHasCheezburger.com, so the Guardian has tagged the pic with some helpful captioning – or should we say CAT-tioning? Ohh lordy, it’s going to be a looong day…