Friday, August 31, 2007
The Mid-Morning Wrap Up
12:24PM Anna King | While you were sleeping: Hollywood oozes transAtlantic hospitality, offers Posh prime-time role as skinny white bitch herself. 50 Cent disses K-Fed, isn’t quite as enamoured by his talents as myriad of casting directors. OK! mag discovers conscience, refuses to shell out $US1.7 MILLION for The Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead née Stern Story. It’s still good: The higher-intelligence of Americans amuse us muchly. Our nomination for Bachelor of the Year. Acne-product endorsements, here he comes! More »
Idol Round-Up: Quirky Brianna Makes Us Want To Kill Small Animals; Dorky Holly Plays Air-Drums And Likes Play School, Clearly Our New Fave
11:11AM Clem Bastow | Through to Final 12: Brianna Carpenter, Holly Weinert
Group Four’s progressing finalists were announced last night, causing paroxysms of hatred upon our living room floor: quirky/zany/wacky Brianna Carpenter is indeed this year’s Chanel Cole, with the public apparently falling in love with her oversized buttons and hatefully coy rendition of Regina Spektor’s Fidelity.
We can’t wait to see the voters tire of her offbeat covers by about week four or so, and will no doubt thrill to her myriad assymetrical fringes and rickrack-covered smock dresses. She reminds us of those tiresome girls who ride bikes and pretend to be third-wave-feminist nu-Bluestockings while actually eating recreational drugs for breakfast and engaging in group sex.
Mildura’s Holly Weinert, on the other hand, seems like a really good-natured dag (she lists her first concert as “George from Play School! I bought an “I Saw George” shirt and wore it EVERYWHERE”) and we – perhaps against our better judgement – enjoyed her performance of Easy. More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Pulls Out Of MTV Video Music Awards, Dad Pulls Out His Hair, Amy Has Plenty Where That Came From
10:13AM Clem Bastow | Today’s Winegums Watch brings you the news that most Wino-Watchers expected: Universal have announced, on her behalf, that she’s pulled the plug on all upcoming US gigs, meaning she will also no longer be appearing at the MTV Video Music Awards.
A statement released by the company read: “In a continued effort to support Amy Winehouse’s wellbeing, in addition to the postponement of her US tour, all other US appearances have been cancelled.”
We must say, we’re really enjoying the way the Mail just keeps extending their Winegums coverage with ever multiplying “Scroll Down For More” tags. We’d like to see them expand it into a weekly mini-mag. More » 
Damien Hirst Reasonably Happy With ‘For The Love Of God’ Sale Price; Cannily Beats Subeditors And Philistines To The Punch With Title Of Work
9:30AM Clem Bastow | Zany madcap “Young British Artist” Damien Hirst – who is, we should note before we make any further snide gags, one of our favourites – had them rolling in the aisles when he revealed For The Love Of God earlier this year.
The piece – a human skull cast in platinum and then covered in diamonds, with only the teeth remaining untouched – was made for roughly £15,000,000; Hirst mentioned at the time that he was planning to sell it for £50 mil.
Well, he’d be looking even more smug today than he is in the photo accompanying this article, given that For The Love Of God just sold for US$100 million (AUS$122.32 million).
Hirst had the glittering piece built from 32 platinum plates and 8601 diamonds, using a hand laser to cut thousands of tiny diamond settings. The work has a 52-carat pink diamond at its centre and is studded with 14 pear-shaped diamonds.
Hirst said the piece was meant to highlight the transience of human existence.
Singer George Michael, who already owns another Hirst work – a body of a black calf pierced by dozens of arrows and tied to a steel post – had been reported to be considering the hefty price tag.
Hirst, believed to be Britain’s wealthiest living artist, has said of the skull: “I hope it makes the people who see it feel good, that it’s uplifting, that it takes your breath away.
“It works much better than I imagined. I was slightly worried that we’d end up with an Ali G ring.”
Incidentally, for those of you also wondering where to find the change for today’s bus ticket, we thought you would like to know that the piece – bought by an anonymous group of art investors, who plan to sell it again in five or so years – is to be paid for in cash. Think about it, for the love of… oh, snap. More » 
Music World Farewells Hilly Kristal, Father Of CBGB; Johnny Rzeznik Sees Opportunity To Get 2c In
9:25AM Clem Bastow | After his legendary New York club was shut down not long ago, the founder of CBGB (& OMFUG) has died from complications stemming from lung cancer aged 75.
Apart from obviously playing an integral part in the careers of so many bands we love (Television, Blondie, Suicide, Talking Heads), we loved Kristal for pretty much hating every band he was called upon to talk about in the rockumentary Punk: Attitude.
And while we’re (obviously) not alone in offering well wishes, we thought we’d leave you with some words from the leader of one of the bands so keenly associated with the club: the Goo Goo Dolls.
Johnny Rzeznik of the Goo Goo Dolls, who first played CBGB in the late 1980s, said agents from recording companies often came to the club.
“So many bands would never have made records unless they came to CBGB,” he said.
So there you have it. Hilly Kristal: founder of CBGB, responsible (indirectly) for giving the world Iris. Deryck and Avril thank you, Hilly. Rest in peace. More » 
Calls For “Ninja Stab Toy” Ban; Pointing Finger And Saying “Bang!” Next To Go
9:10AM Clem Bastow | In news that suggests none of these people have ever played with an action figure, the Homicide Survivors Association has called for a Mattel action figure series – Naruto – to be banned from sale, and the Tele has coined our new favourite potential band name in the process: “ninja stab toy”.
In one hand it holds a knife and its arms are programmed only to punch and stab. An accessory range of weapons – including throwing stars with leg holsters – is also available.
Homicide Survivors Association founder Peter Rolfe said the toys taught children a very dangerous lesson.
“I think there’s a link between playing with these toys and violent behaviour later.”
Have these dudes heard of Batman/TMNT/He-Man/She-Ra…? Why single out this particular toy? We used to throw our Barbie dolls off the roof and then pour red ink all over their ‘corpses’, and we turned out fine!
In any case, a casual glance of the toy-con forums reveals that there is a much clearer reason to ban Naruto action figures from sale. Quoth “Gunbuster718″, in the Toy News International forum,
Bad Articulation. Mattel, it’s the 2000s, use ball joint crotches!!
They messed up my favorite character in the lineup, Zabuza. He looks like Robert Smith dressed up as Brock from Pokemon dressed up as Zabuza.
Checkmate, Mattel, checkmate. More »
‘Ugly Betty’ Gifts Posh Spice With A Hard-Earned Job In Her Strange New Land
9:00AM Defamer Hollywood | It’s heart-warming to see that somebody in this country understands the plight of the plucky immigrant. After enduring the extreme physical and mental stress of dodging the paparazzi with a sex doll dressed up in your likeness and finding the perfect multi-million-dollar mansion in Los Angeles all by her lonesome, our malnourished heroine Victoria Beckham has been clutched warmly to Ugly Betty’s ample, restorative bosom: Victoria Beckham has landed her first acting role on prime-time U.S. television, appearing as herself in an episode of the popular comedy “Ugly Betty,” the ABC broadcast network said on Thursday. More »
50 Cent Curses The Day K-Fed Ever Entered Britney’s Life
8:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Kevin Federline’s swift and illustrious rise up the Spears Industries ranks – humbly starting as a background dancer, then being promoted to Chief Bongwater Replacement Engineer, and ultimately landing a corner-office position as their Director of Knocking-Up Services – was as remarkable a transformation by any celebrity couchhusband in recent memory. Even once he was terminated, nothing could stop his lofty pimp ambitions, and it wasn’t long before Super Bowl endorsement deals and meaty roles opposite industry giants like Chad Michael Murray began to pour in. So how Shorty-feting, bullet-riddled rap star 50 Cent could somehow lay the blame for Britney’s recent troubles on K-Fed is anyone’s guess: ANYONE who wondered what led BRITNEY SPEARS to go off the rails culminating in shaving her own head and flashing her knickerless undercarriage can now finally have the answer. It was all KEVIN FEDERLINE’S fault, according to rapper 50 Cent. More »
‘ET’ Amassing Celebrity Signatures For Giant Owen Wilson Get Well Card
8:15AM Defamer Hollywood | If there’s one bright spot to the massive, black thundercloud hanging over Hollywood this week, it comes in the form of an outpouring of love and genuine sympathy for Owen Wilson – not just from his fans, but from fellow celebrities, who know first hand of the inner turmoil that can accompany being permanently strapped into the fame machine, and who would go to great lengths to inform Entertainment Tonight’s cameras of how much they are pulling for him in his time of need: “I don’t know what happened,” JANE SEYMOUR says of OWEN WILSON’s reported suicide attempt, “but I know he’s a great guy and this too shall pass…He has a great family and people who love him,” she says. “He’ll be okay.” More »
