Jessie Curran, the country lass who trilled her way through U2 Johnny Cash's One on Monday night's Idol show, is - if you didn't already know (are you living in a cave, you crazy fool?) - dating James Blundell. Which is bad news for his wife and kids, it would seem.

The 43-year-old singer's romance with Jesse Curran was made public yesterday - despite claims the performer has "not even told his children he's left them".

Blundell is understood to have recently approached Channel 10's publicity department to come clean about the affair so "he could turn up to the (elimination) shows this week to support (Curran)," a source close to the couple told Confidential.

Blundell, who moved out of his family's Hunters Hill home last week, confirmed his new girlfriend through manager Neil Richards, but apparently has not sat down to "explain himself" to his sons, Briar, 9 and Travis, 5.

His wife is said to have tried desperately to save the marriage after Blundell told her of his relationship in April.

Curran "thinks James is a big rock star but let's face it he hasn't had a hit for about 12 years," one insider sniped.

Ah yes, but what a hit it was! And he was a handsome bugger with a rug of chest hair eighties era Jon Bon Jovi would be envious of.

In any case, James Blundell's new love affair has angered many fans. We're just waiting to see what it means for Jessie Curran's chances on Australian Idol.

PS: Total mad props to Marcia Hines for mentioning the whole sordid affair on the show last night after Jessie made an innocent comment Marcia believed referred to the Blundell romance, resulting in hysterical laughter from her fellow judges, a rather classy and dignified response from Jessie herself, and some slouching from the old guy in the front row wearing a baseball cap who we think might have been Jessie's dad. Whatevs.

Guess which beloved hymen-owning boganette will be appearing in this Sunday night's episode of Kath & Kim? Why, it's ex Big Brother contestant Katie Hastings!

Playing the dumb blonde on last year's Big Brother has turned into a big acting break for Katie Hastings - cast to play her "happy" self in Kath & Kim. The bubbly bogan told Confidential her start on the smash-hit comedy series made her so "nervous I said to someone, 'I need Maccas, quick' ".

It's comments like this which clearly inspired producers of the Channel 7 show to approach her with the cameo role earlier this year. "My acting couldn't have been any worse, but they just said to play myself and I'd be fine. I didn't know whether to be insulted or what, but they were so nice."

Hastings plays Katie, a new apprentice in Kel Knight's butcher shop in this Sunday's episode. "Kel loves his chump chops but I'm supposed to be into fancy meats. Don't ask me to name them because I can't even pronounce half of 'em," she said yesterday.

This may tempt us back to Kath & Kim, you know.

Aussie musical electro-indie-pop (we sourced that description from their MySpazz) ensemble The Presets have enjoyed a rather delicious break in the US with their tune Are You The One being used for a contemporary number on hit US show So You Think You Can Dance.

Check out the clip below.

The show is starting in Australia on Thursday night, we believe. We may just have to add it to our list of Must Watch Shows On The Telly and possibly get a man to come by once a week to wash us with a rag on a stick as, at this rate, we're destined to never leave the fucking couch again.

We haven't felt so surprised at the alleged teaming up of a couple of love birds since Bruce Willis was rumoured to be doing unfatherly things to Lindsay Lohan - did you know Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger were possibly dating? Did you?

Well, if you didn't - there was word (somewhere, muttered by someone) that the pair were dating. Except now it turns out that they're not.

Actress Renee Zellweger has played down reports she is romantically involved with music legend Sir Paul McCartney. The Beatle, 65, was spotted partying with the Bridget Jones's Diary star, 38, at a Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers gig in New York on Saturday (25Aug07). But friends of the actress insist the pair are "just good friends". A source tells the New York Daily News, "I don't believe there's anything between them.

We'll be sure to keep you up to the minute with further reports of celebrities you had no idea had even met and their non-existent romantic status.

How quickly things change in Hollywood, eh? One time co-stars in The Animal (and, we presume, friends - in our world, everyone in Hollywood who work together automatically become bosom buddies and/or lovers) Michael Caton and Rob Schneider are in the midst of a very public war of words over comments Caton made about his flick Strange Bedfellows being the inspiration for Schneider chum Adam Sandler's latest movie I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry.

It appears Schneider, forced to choose between an Antipodean ex-work mate and his meal ticket, decided to go in to bat for Adam Sandler via the always enjoyable medium of an open letter.

In response to comments Caton made in the press a few months ago claiming he'd given Schenider a DVD copy of he and Paul Hogan's MADCAP COMEDY (screamy capitalisation author's own) Strange Bedfellows and adding "I'm going to have to get on to Rob Schneider and say you owe me one, pal, or Adam Sandler owes me one. They're really good mates and it's obvious he's said 'Hey, have a look at this'", Schneider retorts - amongst other things -

"It is true you gave me a DVD copy of Strange Bedfellows but I must confess I've never watched it, as it is not on the same format as I have and it makes quite a nice drink coaster.

I know that you recently made an early (and deserved) exit on Dancing with the Stars, still in my wildest imagination I never could see you as one who would ever become 'bitter'. Unfortunately, that is the conclusion that you have forced me to come to. Now Paul Hogan I can understand!"

Ouch. We do appreciate the obviousness of his attempt to make it clear to Adam Sandler that he still loves him, loves him more than anyone, and please god, give him a role - no matter how small! - in his next movie.

Caton has now spoken out, saying it was all a case of Schneider taking a joke too seriously!

"I had a wonderful time making The Animal with Rob Schneider in 2001 and am disappointed by his comments as I have always considered Rob a friend of mine. I was doing press for network television around the time the film I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry was released and it was during that time that several journalists asked me about the similarities between the story lines of that and Strange Bedfellows.

At no time did I approach the media on this matter. I can only repeat what I said at that time which is that I did give Rob Schnieder a copy of the Strange Bedfellows DVD. I emailed Rob that if the reports of similarities were true then 'tell Adam Sandler owes me one'. The comments I made were obviously tongue in cheek.

We refuse to believe it's possible Schneider missed an blatant gag, because if that's true, well... well... then perhaps, just perhaps, he isn't one of the comic geniuses of our time. And that's a truth we're just not prepared to face right now, as we clutch our copy of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in one hand and a pen in the other, practicing our "Mrs Rob Schneider" signature until our hand cramps up.

Did you know Environment Minister Malcolm Turnbull catches the bus and ferry to and from work each day? We didn't, until today. This fact mildly interested us.

Something else that mildly interested us was news that some high profile Australians have decided to collaborate in an effort to become an irritating bee in Malcolm's electoral bonnet.

High-profile figures such as actor Rachel Ward and former tennis star John Newcombe have joined the battle against the proposed Gunns pulp mill in Tasmania's picturesque Tamar Valley.

An advertisement organised by Geoffrey Cousins, a former adviser to Prime Minister John Howard, has been signed by more than 120 people.

It will appear in tomorrow's Wentworth Courier, in Environment Minister Malcolm Turnbull's marginal electorate.

Among the signatories are film director Phillip Noyce, actors Bryan Brown and Rebecca Gibney, playwright David Williamson, celebrity chef Kylie Kwong, Fairfax Media deputy chairman Mark Burrows, Rowena Danziger, a member of the Publishing and Broadcasting board, and Leo Schofield, a former director of the Sydney Festival. The ad urges the public to contact Mr Turnbull's office to ask him to allow "a full and just public hearing" on the pulp mill.

...

The ad says: "Is Malcolm Turnbull the Minister for the Environment or the Minister Against the Environment?" It says Mr Turnbull can insist on all voices being heard. "But will he? So many questions, so far no answers … Will Malcolm Turnbull insist that a proper public hearing be implemented before he decides on the building of one of the world's largest pulp mills in Tasmania's Tamar Valley?

When Kylie Kwong and the ex-Mrs Jack Jones from Southern Sons have teamed up to conspire against you, it is time to take heed. Your move, Mr Turnbull.

Today's clip comes courtesy of one of our favourite bloggers Born Dancin', who also provides an incredibly apt description of what you're about to see.

watch an actual video of the song featuring the $2 shop hand puppet that is Rap Cat along with a bunch of people who are essentially giving up on any possible future which might involve anything resembling a paid job in the entertainment industry. As Wikipedia puts it, "Rap Cat's rapping abilities seem to be limited to meowing rhythmically". What interests me most is the dazzling genius of the idea. What most myspace pages are to your eyes, this is to your ears.

Hungry for more?

Enjoy!

That zany madcap Amy Winehouse just can't get out of the news, with a new morning bringing plenty of new Amy updates. The Mirror's 3AM reports that Amy and husband Blake Fielder-Civil have been booted from another hotel (do they even have a home?) for disruptive behaviour, while Bizarre's Victoria Newton has them jetting off on a health-giving tropical holiday.

While we have your attention, we're going to start a running tally of all the Winehouse/Fielder-Civil-related puns and nicknames we have spotted.

Amy Declinehouse
Amy Wino
Amy Not-Fine-house
Amy Winegums
Alehouse
Flophouse
Camden Caner
Blake Not-So-Civil
Blake Uncivil
Sid & Nancy

Got any more? Send your favourites on a postcard to the usual address.

Super choice hottie and High School Musical star Zac Efron has been announced as the host of the upcoming Nickelodeon Australian Kids Choice Awards in October, sending young girls (and not so young girls, and guys) into a frenzy of squee.

"I'm so excited to be coming to Australia to host Nick's Kids Choice Awards," Efron said. "I can't wait to get down there and slime all the Aussie kids - it's going to be a blast."

If you are wondering what he is talking about, don't worry - "slime" is not some hep new street slang, but rather what happens to selected celebrity guests at the Kids Choice awards, much like (for you oldies) what used to happen if you said "No" on You Can't Do That On Television.

And if this item does nothing for you, we suggest you see Hairspray immediately.

Sometimes we get wind of a piece of news that is so gob-smacking that we simply have to sit and have some quiet time by ourselves, and today is one of those days.

Not one, not two, but THREE British gossip rags are reporting - wait for it - that Kylie Minogue... HAS GOT A NEW HAIRSTYLE.

We are going to have a lie down and a Bex and suggest you click those links with caution.

First two contestants through to Top 12: Matt Corby, Jacob Butler

We (re)discovered the Australian Idol contestant we love to hate very early on this year; his name is Jacob Butler and he has tried - unsuccessfully, and rather publicly - to make it to the top a few times before. He made it to the Top 100 in 2005, and made it to week four of the hilariously ill-fated X-Factor that same year before voluntarily withdrawing from the comp. He then went to the UK to "make it", and didn't, and here he is, lighting up our screens with his full cheeks and dull Britpop covers once more.

Our favourite Jacob moment so far has been his response to the judges' asking him what he'd do if he didn't "make it" this time (implying that this is his last chance), to which he replied that he'd have to do what all "failed musos do... become a music journalist."

Read More »

The world was in a flutter yesterday after reports began circulating that Owen Wilson had been admitted to hospital following an alleged suicide attempt (slit wrists and a pill overdose, or both, depending on who you believe).

Now Wilson has released a brief statement (which is, admittedly, still fairly obtuse as far as the actual cause of his hospitalisation is concerned) asking for his privacy to be respected at this time:

"I respectfully ask that the media allow me to receive care and heal in private during this difficult time," Wilson, 38, said.

...

Wilson's spokeswoman, Ina Treciokas, declined to elaborate on the actor's statement or discuss his medical condition.

If the reports are true and Wilson did attempt suicide, well, we're not touching that with a bargepole other than to genuinely hope he is getting the care and support he needs. Instead, we'll leave it to The National Ledger and astrologer Lynn Hayes, who has prepared a chart to help us understand "what led Owen Wilson to such a dark place". Sun in Scorpio, apparently. Good to know.

As if the news of one of the signs of impending apocalypse - Shaggy publicly decrying your reunion tour - wasn't enough, now the freshly re-formed (note: not reformed, except maybe in Geri's case) Spice Girls have been dealt a blow from their current equivalent, Girls Aloud, who have assured their fans they won't be still at it when they are "old and wrinkly":

Cheryl Cole said: "It just wouldn't be seemly. When we finish we'll finish on top. There'll be no comeback.

"We could hardly go out as Girls Aloud when we're old and wrinkly. We would have to call ourselves Old Girls Aloud. That would never do."

Riiight. Because, you know, being on the other side of 30 makes you totally "old and wrinkly". Bitches, please: may the gods of skincare strike Girls Aloud down with premature age spots and crows feet once they hit 27 or so, and then we'll see who's "old and wrinkly".

While You Were Sleeping:
· Owen Wilson is OK peoples. And we all thought he was the chipper one.
· Officials may have finally caught on to the fact that Britney Spears isn't that good at parenting, y'all.
· Madonna is one step closer to buying adopting that baby.

It's Still Good:
· If anything, we love Krudd even more now.
· Everyone's a winner at the Arias!
· Bert Newton finally dishes on dead guy, still not important enough to warrant real journalism.
· Rehab's the new who gives a shit.

· We think we'll say as little as possible about this cameo-packed viral for the upcoming season of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, except to note that the Limoncello artisan and Coachella warrior was a lot less hairy than we had always pictured.
· It's not all bad news today for Britney Spears: She's been found innocent of having broken her rat-dog London's leg.
· Oh, no! Charlie Sheen had a terrible weekend, too!
· O.J. Simpson double-murder confessional If I Did It, which Barnes & Noble weren't going to carry due to "lack of customer interest," has shot to the #1 spot of their website's Top 100.
· A slightly oldie but a goodie: "I named it the Kinder-squirrel, after the treats. It always goes after them, other sweets do not seem to interest it as much."
· Chocoholic squirrel didn't quite do it for you? Fine. We're bringing out the big guns. God, we needed that.

Defamer is committed to bringing you every minor and major development in the ongoing Owen Wilson existential/medical crisis. (Did that actually happen? It still hasn't quite sunk in that one of the world's most powerful poonanny-magnets just inexplicably attempted to off himself.) While we await the inevitable Access Hollywood report alerting the world that, "Owen is now resting more comfortably than he was before, because our Tony Potts smuggled him in some bourbon," we bring you this Extra update, in which much of the same information, plus a tiny bit of new, is rearranged into an Extra! Suicide! Exclusive!

DETAILS SURROUNDING OWEN WILSON 'S RUMOURED SUICIDE ATTEMPT

(Los Angeles - August 27, 2007) - "Extra" has learned from a source close to Owen Wilson that the actor did indeed attempt suicide over the weekend.

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We had hoped by now we would have more to tell you about yesterday's thoroughly disheartening news that lovable Hollywood gadabout and top-earning movie star Owen Wilson had, quite shockingly, been hospitalised for what Star and The National Enquirer were reporting was a suicide attempt. It's by all measures a tragic turn of events for the actor we affectionately refer to around here as The Butterscotch Stallion, and star of some of our all-time favourite films, from Bottle Rocket to The Royal Tenenbaums (which, if you can stomach it, features an eerie, premonitory scene featuring brother Luke). Wilson has been transferred from Saint John's in Santa Monica to Cedars-Sinai Medical Centre, where their publicist (in L.A., hospitals have publicists, not spokespeople) tells Extra that he is in "good condition," leaving us hopeful that the actor will fully recover, shed of whatever demons led him to think a life making 8-figures per picture and having one's pick of L.A.'s most nubile aspiring actresses was one not worth living.

• Update: Owen Wilson in 'Good Condition' [Extra]

Somebody in the child welfare business just got that Us Weekly subscription approved: After weeks of tabloid stories implying that skinny-dipping with a random college co-ed in Vegas, allegedly drinking in front of the kids, and reportedly shoving a bodyguard who is holding your son are somehow inappropriate acts, America's poster child for staying in school is rumoured to be under investigation by L.A. County officials for something potentially a lot worse than trying to Brite Smile her kids' choppers:

TMZ has learned Britney Spears is being investigated for possible child abuse.

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Figures. Just when the Jolie-Pitt Army of Uber-Moppets had us convinced we could kill time on a slow news day by cheerfully hand-picking any adorable foreign-born tyke we want and raising it as our own, Madonna has to come along and rain on our parade. Apparently, the good people of Malawi can't decide if she's a wicked, rapacious hellion or a serious(ly rich) potential parent for Malawian quasi-orphan David Banda; finally, per Reuters, they've apparently chosen Door No. 2, but not without totally removing the possibility of more thrilling, head-shaking indecision:

An official appointed by a Malawi court to assess whether Madonna and her husband would be suitable parents for the child they are seeking to adopt said on Monday he will visit the couple in Britain next month.

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It's hard out there for a studio exec. One day, you're innocently blowing your nose into the pages of unmade scripts stained with the hopes and dreams of anonymous writers, and screaming at your assistant to just please get someone to make you a fat-free Big Mac; the next, you're rudely confronted with the fact that the movie you greenlit about a murderous barber making mincemeat of his clients actually focuses on a murderous barber making mincemeat of his clients:

TIM Burton has been told to tone down the gore in the screen version of "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street," starring Johnny Depp. The suits at Warner Bros. "became a tad squeamish when they viewed grisly footage of blood splashing across the set as Depp slits the throats of his customers," London's Daily Mail reports.

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In yet another discouraging development for accused murderer/avowed bitch-hater Phil Spector, lead defence attorney Bruce Cutler - who so famously got things started with a bang by hammering the phrase "murder on their minds" approximately 17,000 times into the jurors' skulls, then became a rarer and rarer courtroom presence as he attended to his daytime-TV-starring commitments - has officially stepped down from the case as of today. From the AP report:

Phil Spector's often-absent lead lawyer, Bruce Cutler, announced Monday that he is leaving the music producer's murder case because of "a difference of opinion between Mr. Spector and me on strategy."

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· Hollywood Out of Ideas: Let's Stick Neo in Another End-of-the- World-with- Robots-Movie Edition: Fox greenlights a remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still, starring Keanu Reeves. [Variety]
· American Eagle, purveyors of fine, outdoorsy shmatahs to shopping centre-patrons everywhere, has actually launched an "entertainment production arm," and is rushing several web-based projects into productions. We don't know about you, but we're thrilled The Adventures of Sensible, Double-Pleated, Triple-Washed Chinos finally got the greenlight it deserved. [Variety]
· The Bourne Ultimatum continues to dominate the international box office - particularly Denmark, where national treasure Matt Damon's birthday is feted with a symbolic dumping of a Minnie Driver-alike in a staged ceremony attended by tens of thousands. [Variety]
· South Park's evil geniuses Matt Stone and Trey Parker have their contract renewed at Paramount, a juicy ad-sharing deal which will guarantee the duo "$US75 million over the next four years," ensuring many more adventures for Lemmiwinks in the Land of Mr. Slave's Bowels. [THR]
· Hollywood Nepotismwatch: Paramount Vantage greenlights its first deal with Will Ferrell and Adam McKay's Gary Sanchez Prods.-The Goods: The Don Ready Story, set to star none other than McKay's brother-in-law, Jeremy Piven. Now you know who your sister has to fuck to get a job in this town.

Why are 1 in 5 Americans unable to locate their country on a map? No idea, but we can tell you why 5 in 5 inhabitants of South Carolina are fervently trying to develop a vaccine for verbal dysentery. We're not sure who suffers most here: Miss Teen South Carolina USA herself, whose terrified, empty Ralph-Wiggum-in-drag ramblings end up as a treatise on "The Iraq, and such as"; the attending "U.S. Americans," the force of whose feverishly choked-back guffaws generated enough pent-up energy to power a small third-world country for a year; or Mario Lopez, for being unable to escape being paid to get saved by the bell. (Indeed, we would have suggested Miss Teen S.C.U.S.A. was just nervously hopped up on caffeine pills, but thanks to Elizabeth Berkeley, we know the signs.) Still, the clear winner in this fiasco is the American education system, which can now easily refute claims of its inadequacy by sputtering, "Some... people out there in our nation... don't... have brains." Jenga!

• Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina Answers a Question [YouTube]

Ah, yes. It's beginning to feel - and smell - a lot like late August. Before slipping on those fancy trick sunglasses upon which you've glued magazine cutouts of two open eyes and checking out for the morning, have some box office numbers, freshly scooped out of the commissary salad bar:

1. Superbad - $US18 million With a mildly disappointing&trade second week take, the country's schoolgirl crush on Superbad may be showing signs of waning - possibly because it had exhausted its core audience of phallic doodle enthusiasts in its opening weekend. Still, enough moviegoers were taken with Superbad's coloursafe-beer-swilling charms to secure its first place status. America, it turns out, was more than willing to accept the movie's drunken offer to take us upstairs and put its mouth on our collective penis.

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We realise what many of you might need on this gloomier-than-normal day is some cheering up. Whether or not this clip from A&E's The Two Coreys provides that really depends on how you feel about artfully staged confrontations between two lovable 1980s heartthrobs who are forced to cohabitate, for various economic and drama-heightening reasons. For us, nothing washes away the darkness buried beneath every successful actor's shiny facade than watching two fallen stars fake-fighting over the woman who came between them. (If you're still not feeling the sunshine, take a moment to consider just how far Corey H. has come since the episode in which he learns he's been shut out of the Lost Boys direct-to-video sequel. The kid is back!)

• The Two Coreys [A&E]