Saturday, August 4, 2007
Australia Finally Legitimises Brad And Angelina’s Fame
10:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Since you’re nothing in this world unless your likeness can be crushed onto an envelope with someone’s dirty thumb, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie – this actor couple with some kids; you may have run across them once – must be incredibly relieved that their star status is now fully legitimised. The Australia Post, which sponsors the country’s Magazine Of The Year event, rewarded winner New Idea by sticking one of its Pitt/Jolie covers onto a limited-edition commemorative 50-cent stamp – no doubt their lowest appearance fee in recent memory. The release announced, “I don’t know of any other country in the world that has ever had Brad and Angelina on a stamp,” and you know what, it’s true. Namibia got The Divine Birth, Berlin and Prague has been getting the family lately…what’s left for us in all this? Their collection of empty houses and pathetic shells of their exes? Screw that. More »
Open-Minded Brett Ratner Amused By Prankster Tranny Who Blew Him
9:30AM Defamer Hollywood | The near-constant attention that’s accompanying the imminent opening of Rush Hour 3 seems to have turned the already unedited Brett Ratner into something of a chronic oversharer. A couple of days ago, Ratner offhandedly informed the audience at Chinese Theatre know that he lost his virginity at a precocious 13, and in an interview posted on The Advocate’s website today, the director deflects accusations that his new movie features some cheap, homophobic jokes by falling back on the time-worn defence, “Some of the best blowjobs I’ve ever gotten were by dudes pretending to be chicks.” Wait, what? Ratner explains: What about when the girl takes off her wig and Chris Tucker becomes angry and accuses her of being a man? No, no! That’s from my personal experience. My first blow job was from a man, but I didn’t know it was a man. That’s where that comes from. It’s based on personal experience. It happens to a lot of people. More »
More People Run Screaming From Working With Lindsay Lohan
9:15AM Defamer Hollywood | The dogged persistence with which Lindsay Lohan appears to be grinding her career into a fine powder and snorting it off the seat of the crapper is so thorough, and so consistent, that it’s almost a welcome show of commitment in this fickle town. In addition to appearing headed for a long, glorious career in the straight-to-video market thanks to I Know Who Killed Me, Lindsay has also managed to convince the folks at Louis Vuitton that she’s a sticky-fingered little wastrel who can’t be trusted: Lindsay Lohan [... ] was once in the running to be the new face of Louis Vuitton. But after a disastrous Elle magazine shoot two months ago, the luxury line will no longer even lend her clothes. More »
Isaiah Washington Reveals How NBC’s Ben Silverman Swept Him Off His Feet
9:00AM Defamer Hollywood | By now, we thought that former Grey’s Anatomy star Isaiah Washington serial silence- breakings about the turbulent events of his recent career would be yielding diminishing returns, with nothing he could offer at this point possibly topping the virtuoso gay-conspiracy theories and McDreamy character assassinations to which we’ve been treated since his firing. But we were wrong. So very, very wrong. In an interview with EW.com meant to clarify the timeline of his controversial addition to the cast of Bionic Woman, Washington recounts the amazing speed with which newly installed NBC rock star Ben Silverman moved to adopt him into his network family once he discovered that the actor had been disowned by ABC. We pick up the narrative at the Chateau Marmont, where Ozwald “House of” Boateng, upon hearing that his buddy Isaiah needed a new job, set into motion the following series of completely fucking insane events:
Trade Roundup: Multiplex Overcrowding Problem Reaching Critical Levels
8:30AM Defamer Hollywood | · Now here’s a classy problem: So many movies are making so much money that studios are having a hard time holding onto screens for their weeks-old, but still popular, product, as the flood of new releases suck up precious space at the multiplex. [Variety] · Producers Alan Ladd Jr. and Jay Kanter win $US3.2 million in damages from Warner Bros., which a jury determined screwed them out of millions in Blade Runner, Police Academy, and Chariots of Fire profits through those cute creative accounting practices studios love so much. [THR] · Not that we don’t like Steve Zahn, but it can’t be a great sign for Jennifer Aniston’s movie career if he’s the biggest name they could get to star alongside her in a romantic comedy. (On second thought, feel free to swap their names and muse that Zahn should fire his agent.) [Variety] · Katherine Heigl starts a production company with her mother. Adorable! (OK, she’s her mumager, but still. Cute!) [THR] · Good news, karaoke fans: Fox has decided to keep Don’t Forget The Lyrics on in the Fall, as part of a scheduling strategy they hope helps reverse their recent trend of throwing up their hands in defeat until American Idol saves them in January. [Variety] More »
Donald Trump Can’t Stop Talking About How Badly He Doesn’t Want Rosie O’Donnell On ‘The Apprentice’
8:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Never one to squander an opportunity to jab his firing-pinky into longtime nemesis Rosie O’Donnell’s neck wattle while evaluating her physical appearance, musing about a punitive sexual conquest of her life-partner, or delivering a stream of inventive, pig-related quips, Donald Trump delivered the insult value-add we’ve come expect from the savvy businessman in denying that he’d ever invited her on the upcoming celebrity edition of The Apprentice. He did, however, allow that firing her would be fun: “No, I never offered Rosie a chance to be on ‘Celebrity Apprentice, ‘” Trump told Access Hollywood in an exclusive interview. “It’s a good idea,” he continued, “because I would fire her fat a**. She would definitely not last more than one show . . . I would love to fire Rose, but I don’t want her on the show.” Mulling the idea over for a moment, the redness in Trump’s flushed face began to fade, and he absently twirled a lock of his magnificent head of hair as he continued, “You know what, though? Firing her…mmm…that could work. Like, really work. It’s crazy to say it, right? But, but…I could bend her over the boardroom’s table, grab the new dismissal paddle we’ll be using this season, and really go to Trumptown on that ample bottom of hers. Ammm-ple. Just lingers on the tongue, ample. Weird. You think she’d like that? She probably would. She’s sick. A sick little piggy. And then right when she thinks I’m going to fire her, you know what? I stop! I bring her back for another show. Take that, Rosie. Fatfatfat. The paddling won’t be so fun the second time, I promise you that. Or the third.” Donald Trump On Rosie: ‘I Would Fire Her Fat A**’ [AH]M Previously: Basking In Feud Afterglow, Trump Tries To Leave $2 Mil On Rosie’s Dresser [Defamer] More »
Personally, We Think Nicole Should Name The Baby Lynwood
8:05AM Defamer Hollywood | Now that Diane Sawyer’s comforting bosom has lured all kinds of pregnancy details out of Nicole Richie, we can get right down to what actually matters: Putting our hard-earned blogging cash – all $20 of it – on the 11-1 odds Bodog.com is giving that she will name her kid “Britney.” More »Sawyer Vs. Richie II: The Anorexia Intervention
8:00AM Defamer Hollywood | As it turns out, the punishing questions of Good Morning America celebrity interrogator Diane Sawyer that led an overmatched, psychologically vulnerable Nicole Richie to admit that the baffling urban planning of Glendale induced her to drive the wrong way on the freeway were only intended to soften up the subject for the kill. With Richie squarely on the defensive, Sawyer attempted to stage a televised eating disorder intervention, presenting the troubled celebrity with a series of shocking images from her famously underweight past (though it was a cheap shot to Photoshop in a medical-school skeleton next to Lindsay Lohan. The tabloid sensibility really is destroying our morning chat shows) in the hope of inducing a tearful admission of anorexia. More »
Short Ends: ‘Stop With All The Lohan Already!’ Says Nearly Everyone Trying To Impress Pollsters
7:45AM Defamer Hollywood | · According to a poll, 9 out of 10 adults believe that the diverting clusterfucks resulting from celebrity scandals get “too much” news coverage. Expect the immediate cancellation of Entertainment Tonight, AH, The Insider, Extra, everything on E!, and the shuttering of Us Weekly, People, Star, Life & Style and InTouch as demand for gossip completely dries up in the oversaturated market. · On the other hand, that unaccounted for adult from the poll thinks the amount of coverage of lunches attended by more than one lady Eddie Murphy has slept with is “just right.” · That person also loves the stories about the cute orphan Madonna adopted! · Bratz, Underdog…Rainbow Brite? · We really love us some Happy Foot/Sad Foot. More »
