The Rise And Rise Of Kerry Packer(‘s Penis)

In the middle of a rather sad tale regarding the suicide of Kerry Packer’s ex-mistress Carol Lopes in smh.com.au – you’d never catch an Operating Thetan Level IV indulging their inner infidelity demon, now would you James? – are two particularly revolting passages which have led to all in Defamer Australia headquarters swearing off anything horizontal for life (or “4 LYF” as the kids say).

Apart from the media baron’s “notorious” love of prostitutes, Barry recounts Packer’s stream of mistresses given apartments and found jobs, with Packer footing the bill. After Packer died in December 2005 the Herald revealed he had transferred property shares worth at least $10 million to his long-time mistress Julie Trethowan.

This reference to Kerry Packer’s extremely randy ways and hooker-dipping habits makes us feel a bit queasy for some reason.

Gerald Stone, in his recent book Who Killed Channel 9?, recounted that Packer divided the final days of his life between Trethowan and Ros, his wife of more than 40 years. He also revealed that in his 30s Packer had a brief, torrid affair with his then employee Ita Buttrose, who became a magazine editor.

Ita Buttrose. Kerry Packer. Torrid. Affair. Kerry. Ita. Sex.

Kerry Packer’s head.

Kerry Packer’s head while he’s receiving head.

Ita Buttrose.

Kerry Packer.

Inside her.

Affair.

(rocks back and forth in traumatised manner)