Shaun Ryder Comes To Sad Realisation That Rock ‘n Roll Ain’t No Fun When You’re Sober

Ageing rocker Shaun Ryder of the Happy Mondays had made a startling discovery.

He’s a boring old fart and going to gigs sober is not a hell of a lot of fun.

Claps all around. It only took him 25 years to figure it out.

“I outgrew the whole drug culture thing. I’d been at it since I was 13 or 14, so when I got to 40 it was time. It’s an age thing.”

“I remember reading an interview with the Stones when I was younger and they were saying how they don’t listen to music or new bands anymore, and I though, ‘You boring old c**nts’. Now I’m a bit like that. I couldn’t think of anything worse now than going to a f**kin’ nightclub. You can’t order a drink. You have to queue up.”